3 decades

i owe myself a record of this...

i'm 30!!!!!!! i turned 30 four days ago. while others may look at it like a ticking bomb that's ready to blow up any minute, i felt like it's one of the sweetest moments in my life. no, i didn't have a bonggang-bonggang party. i didn't go anywhere extravagant. i didn't receive expensive gifts. nothing fancy. nothing worldly. nothing superficial.

two weeks before my birthday, i felt like i was a gumamela that lost 2 of its petals. mommy and wawin left for manila. what was left was a gumamela with 3 precious petals - kuya, april, keylabachoy. still it's a wonderful gumamela.

one week before my birthday, i was elated for 5 precious days: spent with my soon-to-be asawa. eventually he had to leave and i felt alone again.

a few days before my birthday, i'm worrying about a lot of things. i guess i was born to worry.

i don't know what hit me. on the eve of my birthday, i just felt so happy and loved and blessed! i have never felt so content in my life and it's the best birthday gift i've ever received - happiness.

i wanted to take the day off on my birthday. i can't. i just worked from home so i can be off by 5pm and hear mass. there was a burning desire in me to hear mass. during the past years, i felt very lazy to hear mass on my birthday. this year was different. i wanted to really have a date with the Lord, see Him face to face and simply say, "Dear bro, thank You for the gift of life. thank you for giving me all that i need and more. i haven't even asked and here You are, sketching the most perfect blue print that is my life."

i could have died when i was 14. my life could have just ended then if my purpose here on earth is done. i was blessed with 16 more years and all the beautiful moments overshadow the trivial, painful ones.

here are the highlights of my 30th year of existence:

• being far away again from mommy and erwin made me realize that love CAN and DOES exist despite the distance.
• mommy gave me a pair of dangling pearl earrings - one that i could use everyday and i love it!
• i had a sneak preview of what it would be like having your partner close to you. as i said, this is mike's best visit so far. so peaceful!
• mike gave me 3 blouses and, beat this, 6 hankies! which he picked himself! he normally would have asked tita to pick his gifts for me (or for anybody).
• i got to blow my birthday eve blueberry-cheesecake-birthday-cake that's specially delivered by kuya, april, keylabachoy.
• my ubs family gave me an oh so touching card that contained messages from people that i don't treat as co-workers but friends.
• facebook and sms greetings - i treat them seriously! i feel it's something you could read on days you are low. it's a reminder that you are somehow remembered once a year!
• i felt a hunger to meet the Lord and speak with Him!
• i was at peace!

so yes, it was all perfect! happy birthday! literally! yahoo!

pangtanggal ng puting-ulo

i think i have the most severe case of whiteheads. they're stubbornly and ceaselessly growing on my nose, chin, and middle of eyebrows area. i just hate them. to remove them, i use tweezers, i pinch my skin, i use my nails. argh. no wonder it only gets worse.

i found this rubbery thing in daiso. no words needed, the pictures on the label strongly suggest that this product is used to remove whiteheads. you know how it is with japanese labels :p the picture isn't that clear but there are tiny bristles on the surface that can be used to scrape the whiteheads. it's really good because the bristles are so soft.

i wonder if it's not harmful. i hope! and i'm so sleepy now...

so far

august 11. exactly 4 months to go. jitters. so what's up? i think we're doing fine :) what do we have so far? i think we've booked almost all the suppliers. we just have to put effort big time on the details. sheesh.

• church - all booked but we need to start to collect the church requirements soon. we'll have the interview on november 11 so i have to be home by then. the complication is: it's still to early for the wedding so i have to be back here for a few weeks then go back to manila again after a few weeks.
• reception - all booked. we need to pay more attention to the detailing: food tasting, decors, crew meals, final quotation. i probably won't put too much effort on the decors. we'll use the default decors on the venue and i'll leave it on their hands.
• photographer and videographer - prenup done. nothing fancy, i think. i wish we became a bit more creative but i guess i just don't have creative juices in me :p we need to finalize the songs for the avps, select prenup photos, and let them know about our preferred photographers.
• gowns/suit - measurement done except for 1 BM and 2 FGs. designs are also finalized and execution will start next week. mikey's suit is all good too, just need to collect after the alteration.
• shoes - my gown supplier requires 5-inch during the ceremony. they have a supplier and i will get my shoes from them. i'm still thinking if i'll change to a different pair for the reception. mikey's shoes are all good, bought when he was here.
• flowers - i didn't splurge on this one. i just booked during the last bridal fair in manila. chosen flowers are all good. i just want a bouquet of pink tulips, it's that simple :) mike just needs to send them the signed contract to "seal the deal".
• lights and sounds - booked via our venue supplier. they have a preferred lights and sounds vendor so we got them.
• priest - fr. alfred is my favorite parish priest from sto. nino. he already knows that we will get him for our wedding priest. i just hope that he remembers :p
• church choir - mikey's colleagues at work will sing for the wedding ceremony at church. we started with the song list but we have a few more missing pieces - bridal march song?
• ps and ss favors - for ps, we're planning to get wines and chocolates but we haven't booked yet. for ss, no idea.
• guest favors - we'll have the photo booth c/o our photographer.
• hmua - my gown supplier recommended her friend. we'll have a trial makeup on november and hopefully, i can book too.
• hotel for the wedding preparations - argh... we still don't know which one we'll get.
• otd/emcee - we had our first meeting last june. i'm wishing they could be a bit more hands on, but i don't mind as long as they'll be close to perfect on the wedding day. we still need to see a video of their emcee, btw.

whew. i feel it's a big production number. if i were to be asked, i want a super simple one lang sana :) in reality, all we really need to do is ask for His blessings and share the special day with the special people in our lives. that's all that matters :)

now, we're almost done. if only we could get enough funds to pay for these all hahaha!

perfect visit

this is a very unique visit for mikey. initially, he wanted to be here on my birthday. since there is the national day holiday on aug. 9, we opted for the 4th to 9th of august.

as i said on my first post, we were too lazy to go out! here are the highlights of his visit:

• thursday night - arrival. i met him at the airport, we had a good chicken rice dinner and went home.
• friday night - dinner with ubs people. this is the first time he's meeting them. he was touched at the gesture that my friends were eager to meet him too. after dinner, we went to don M's for a few rounds of wii. was perfect :)
• saturday - suit and rings and purnada sky park. please see previous post :) aah, it's also worth mentioning that we had a back massage that night. back massage or back kayod? was so painful!! as in hindi kami makabangon the next day sa sakit ng likod namin! susme!
• sunday - mass and ikea. church time was perfect :) instead of sky park, we went to ikea. it was perfect as well! ah eh, can i just mention that we also made tanggal the whiteheads of isa't isa? hahaha! so that's our idea of fun :p and lots of hilata! must be the painful massage! we also made tambay at the hawker center to watch football with the manongs hahaha! enjoy!
• monday - bye bye time :(

i seem so excited sa kwento. yes i am. pagpasensyahan na po, minsan lang ako magkaron ng bf stories hehehe. ano namang maikwento ko kung magkalayo kami at puro text at tawag at chat lang ang ginagawa namin :p

football sa hawkeran

last lazy sunday, nagawi kami ni mikey sa hawker dito sa may baba ng tahanan namin. we were still full from our ikea gluttony session so we just munched on these lovely pratas. i had cheese prata, he had onions and egg. yumey!

here was our midnight snack:

tamang-tama, a football game was being shown on tv. i didn't know which teams played. i didn't know the rules of the game. nakiki-excite lang ako kapag nagtatakbuhan ang mga pogi. hahaha! here are the giant fans, este, here's the game:

at heto ang mga repapips namin hahaha! susme. mga lolo at mga kuya nagsi-inom ng beer habang nanonood ng game. lab it! sayang kung hindi lang under medication si mikey, makikiinom sana kami :p

marina bay sands - sky park (NOT!)

mikey was here. was. argh i hate that word. why can't i always say "mikey is here" argh.

i think this is his most silly visit. silly in an oh so nice way. silly because we were so lazy to go out. the best that we could do was attempt to go the new sleek sky park at marina bay sands. we had a perfect plan, in this order:

1. check out his suit in domanchi.

2. have his wedding ring resized and at the same time our names engraved on both rings.

3. go to the sky park at sunset and have tons of pictures. we were ready for pure awe and amazement at the beautiful sunset.

somehow, we can't proceed with the suit first because we were running out of time for the sunset. so we arranged the rings first then rushed to marina bay sands. there's a free shuttle from suntec so it was perfect.

when we got there, wow. pangmayaman ang lugar! roaaaarrr! parang puro kashing kashing ang naririnig ko! yahoo! pero wala naman kaming kashing kashing. pupunta lang talaga kami sa sky park. hehehe. when we got to the queue, susmeyo, gahaba ng pila! we won't make it to our dream sunset for sure. that's when we decided to just go back the next day. we were pretty determined to see that sunset!

so we took the shuttle going back to suntec. boy, oh boy! it was our bingo bonanza day! we had a 1-hour trip from marina bay sands to suntec! i wasn't sure if the 1-hour duration was normal. at first we were having a good time because it was a sight-seeing trip on the side. but 1 hour? was too much :p bingo talaga!

here's a consolation: we were successful with the suit stuff! suit and shoes were perfect for him! :) i'll get the suit after 2 weeks after the alterations are done.

next day came. again, we had a perfect plan:

1. go to marina bay sands to purchase tickets for the sky park.

2. go to asian civilization museum.

3. go back to sky park for the sunset.

at dahil nga silly kami, ayun hindi na rin natuloy :p nauwi kami sa ikea :))))) i think we were pretty contented with the good company. no pasyals necessary. echos keso! na tunay!

oh, oh, oh!!! mind you! i have a souvenir photo in marina bay sands!!!! here it is! toinks! toilet!

drama rama

last june 12, 2009, wawin arrived here in singapore to try to look for a job. it wasn't easy for him in manila. full of hope, he left everything he had, including erikaforever, to join the workforce here.

it wasn't easy as well. he came at a time when companies are hiring only PRs, citizens, or experienced mechanical engineers. the trend continued for a year until his long term social visit pass expired.

he had no choice but to go back to manila last thursday.

wawin is keyla's best friend. wawin does a mere nod and keyla does a super give na give na smile na parang wala nang bukas. it's just uncle wawin who can do this. when keyla cries and no one can make her stop, uncle wawin carries her and she magically calms down.

the scene last thursday was really heartbreaking. wawin said goodbye to keyla with a last nod and we all broke into tears.

today is a different story. for the whole year, i shared this room with wawin. i cleaned the room today, moved wawin's bed to the other room, and tidied up everything that used to be his. for the first time in so many years, i felt so alone and empty. the room seems too big now. too big and too quiet. well, it's not like wawin is loud hehehe but the absence is just too deafening. i cried like a little child (and why do i sound like a girl who was just dumped by her bf? hehehe).

why can't things be easy for everybody? why do people have to be apart? as i've said a thousand times, i believe in the capability of wawin. if you ask him for help to do something, he does it so well. why can't he have the good break that he deserves? :( whatever God's reasons are, i'm sure wawin is being molded into perfection. someday, we'll all be together... until then, we humbly accept God's plans. thank you for the wonderful year that you gave us, dear Father.

bulung-bulong

my lola ading, mami's inay is turning 88 (or 89?) this december. everybody is bedazzled by lola's good health. she outlived most of her nephews and nieces! i sometimes think i will, ehem, go to heaven (or hell?) ahead of her! she's that strong. her body is sure mighty but her brain is even mightier. she has a lending business and she knows where every cent goes. she's simply amazing.

about two weeks ago, we received the most unfortunate news that lola slipped and broke her leg. we were all anxious. everybody knows that breaking a bone in old age spells disaster. at first, we were having second thoughts if we'll allow her to undergo operation. will her body be strong enough to surpass the operation? my doctor cousin highly recommended the operation. he said that it, if untreated, will be extremely painful for lola. surely, she won't be able to take the pain if she didn't have the operation.

my lola is mighty in all sense, true. she is also mightily stubborn! apparently, she doesn't want to have the operation. she wailed and made a bad scene at the hospital when she learned about the operation. she used all the authority in her system so she can have it her way and go home. tiklop ang lahat kay lola. she said she'd rather go to a manghihilot.

my cousin said that it will do more harm than good - as in malalamog ang baling buto. the manghihilot ensured that the affected area will not be touched and he only needs to whisper prayers. bulung-bulong.

lola can manage to sit now. my cousin suspects that the pain reliever is working at its finest that's why things seem tolerable at the moment. i sure hope lola will be saved by her tremendous faith and that she will live a hundred more years to tell her wonderful tale.

"yey! buhay ka pa!"

yan ang sabi ni mikey sa akin nung sabado ng umaga. kung bakit nya nasabi yan, heto ang kwento...

friday afternoon, sad ako sa work. kung bakit ako sad, ibang kwento yan. deserve nyan ang isa pang bukod na post. feeling ko todo-buhos ang emosyon sa topic na yun.

so friday afternoon, sa gitna ng pagda-drama ko sa office, bandang 6:00 pm, bigla akong nahilo. gustong-gusto ko nang umuwi pero may tinatapos lang ako nang onti. nakatingin ako sa monitor tapos biglang umikot ang paningin ko. medyo may pressure sa batok, manaka-nakang pagsakit ng ulo. akala ko heart attack, umubo ako. lalo akong nahilo. relax nang konti pero pinilit ko pa ring tapusin ang trabaho.

nakiramdam, tumayo, naglakad papuntang MRT, lumulutang ang pakiramdam. halu-halo na ang naramdaman ko: hilo, pagod, lungkot, nasusuka, takot na baka mahimatay. nakausap ko si kuya at nabanggit kong nahihilo ako. naisip ko, kung magtaxi ako, lalo akong mahihilo. bakit hindi e jeprox mag drive ang mga manong dito. so pinilit kong makauwi sakay ng MRT. little did i know na tumatawag pala si kuya at di ko naririnig dahil wa ako care. ang focus ko lang ay makauwi nang may malay.

pagdating ko ng bahay, pati sina mami takot na takot na pala dahil di ako macontact. pagdating ni kuya, galit na galit at di raw ako macontact di na raw nila alam kung ano nang nangyari sakin. kung bakit nagalit si kuya, heto ang kwento...

thursday night, may officemate syang nakaramdam ng same symptoms ng sa akin + pamamanhid ng ulo. nag excuse sa meeting si officemate dahil na nahihilo at nasusuka. the next morning, hindi na nakapasok si officemate dahil hindi na sya nagising :-S in short, na-dead sya.

so sugod kami sa clinic dito na malapit sa bahay. hindi ko alam kung clinic ba yun o manghuhula.

doc: hi, how are you feeling today?

me: around 6pm, i felt dizzy, light-headed. with occasional headaches, with discomfort at the nape, and with feelings of nausea.

doc: aha!

me: [natuwa dahil parang may conclusion na agad si doc]

doc: do you have colds?

me: very mild, cough mild too.

doc: aha! you have common colds! i will give you medicine for colds!

me: no, no, no. i've had this cough and colds for two weeks now but it's the first time i'm feeling dizzy.

doc: that's right. maybe you just have sensitive nose.

me: [stunned that he isn't even getting my BP. and where did that common colds come from? what is the cause of my hilo attack?] but i still feel dizzy at the moment.

doc: that's ok, that's a side-effect of the colds. do you want lozenges for your cough?

me: no

walangjo. tawag ako sa pinsan kong doctor. mas may sense ang hatol nya. mukang benign positional vertigo raw. na may konting duda kung buntis ako mwehehehe! para maka sure na vertigo nga, magpatingin daw ako sa neurologist after din na ma-rule out ang issue ko sa nanlalabo kong mata.

natakot din si mikey sa kwentong na-dead na officemate. saturday morning, 7am, ang aga ng text. "gising ka na?" hehehe tinawagan ko... "bat ang aga mo nagising?" ang bungad nya, "yey! buhay ka pa!" hahahaha! indeed!

ps: sa wednesday, makukuha ko na ang bago kong eyeglasses. tingnan natin kung mata nga. sana.

ps2: the last time na nahilo ako nang ganito ay college pa sa pilipinas. walang nakitang mali si doc sa akin. sabi nya, kailangan kong bumalik para sa ibang test dahil na alarm sya sa biglang pagbagsak ng timbang ko. "may dahilan ang pagbagsak ng timbang mo" hindi na ako bumalik sa takot matuklasan ang dahilan na yun. hahaha!

six dresses

in less than three weeks, we'll have our prenuptial pictorials. jitters. excitement. anxiety. i admit, i love smiling for the lenses. it's the pow-sing-pow-sing that scares the crap out of me. i am ms. conscious. waaah! i hope the photographers could stir some magic in us so the poses will appear cool and natural-looking.

we'll push through with our beach pictorial no matter what happens. there are some complications at the moment and we are trying to sort them out so our sun-sand-sea setting could materialize. our photographers don't cater to prenup pictorials on weekends but our only available days are sat and sun. we'll push through no matter what :-S

if i were to be asked:

• i want us to SMILE, laugh even, in ALL shots. i want a generally happy theme :)
• i don't want serious shots. i don't want shots with angst. it's just not for me! i swear, i will look constipated! i think mike could pull it off, but not me :-S so dear mr. photographer, don't make us do those mowdel poses. ex: having a blank, expressionless face and looking at the horizon. please, no :-S
• no seductive shots. again, not for me. can't. hahaha.
• but i like shots with butterfly kisses :-* if only it will look natural ;-)

ok, so what to wear? april and i went to chinatown this afternoon to look for dresses for the shoot. initially, what i had in mind were:

a. tube-top, long beach dress

b. white, short dress

c. rompers - something like this, but i like white, tube-top or sleeveless, katya material maybe?

i found a :) one pink and one purple

i found b :) it's this dainty, white dress with strap. i'm thinking of removing the strap.

i will find c in the following days :)

here is a. please excuse the mess, and the payatotness:

in the end, i bought 6 dresses :) 3 for the prenups, 3 for whatever. hehe. as if i really wear them! :))

cat [sms to mami]: ma, magkano nga ulit yung patahi ng barong kay maxim?

mami [sms to cat]: tila P1200. 'di ko sigurado. itanong mo kay cecil.

cat [sms to mami]: oks ty mwah. talagang "tila" hehehe

mami [di na sumagot]...

hala naman mami, parang sa mga florante't laura ko pa narinig yung salitang yun :-S

happy birthday to me!

i took a screenshot of one of the most beautiful coincidences. the time is a numeric representation of my birthday. 8:17 - aug:17. haha babaw. it's a wonder because it almost always happens. when i glance at my phone to either check if i have messages or look at the time, it's 8:17 :)

birthdays are the sweetest days and it feels great to be reminded of your wonderful existence. life may suck at times but on your birthday, you are licensed to celebrate triumphantly because you surpassed the obstacles and you had a fair share of glorious days. maybe i should keep track of the number of times i am reminded of it. :) HBD in advance!

disgusting

what is the usual breakfast for me?

• burger king $2.95 meal - croissant with egg and cheese + hot milk tea - aka tinapay palaman itlog at keso + tsaa. kapag friday, pwedeng i-upgrade sa croissanwich meal nila. ito ay may halong karne: ham or bacon.
• bean curd with grass jelly - aka taho with gulaman
• 2 char siew pao - aka siopao palaman mala asado
• hard boiled egg with soy sauce + rice - aka nilagang itlog, sawsaw toyo, ulam kanin (weekends lang)

ayan. madampian lang ang labi't sikmura ko ng mga kakaning yan sa umaga e masaya na ang diwa ko. hindi ako malakas kumain pero kapag nasarapan ako sa pagkain e very vocal ako. bawat kagat, sasabihin kong, "sarap!"

hindi ako madalas magsisi sa mga bagay na nagawa ko na dahil wala nang magagawa. natapos na'ng lahat bakit magmumukmok pa? pero kahapon, ang ginawa kong ito ang pinakamalaki ko na atang kamalian sa tanang buhay ko, at pagsisisihan ko ito habang nabubuhay ako. dahil maling-mali.

ano kamo'ng pagkakamali ang nagawa ko? bumili ako ng chicken sandwich sa dome. "for a change," ang sabi ko. for a change mo muka mo! hahaha. shongit ng lasa!

unang-una, ang tinapay, parang mumurahing wheat bread lang na may expiration date na today-1 pero naisip mong pwede pa yan kaya kinain mo pa rin. sabi kasi ng nanay mo, pwede pa ring kainin yun.

pangalawa ang lechugas, mas lanta pa sa gulay na inabot na ng dapit-hapon sa talipapa.

pangatlo, ang chicken spread, may sapi! di ko alam kung anong ibang lasa ang sumapi sa kanya. definitely, hindi sya chicken. di ko nga sure kung spread sya e.

inubos ko pa rin. haha pagkatapos pintasan to infinity level. weh gutom ako. pero masama sa loob ko ang pagkakaubos ko. hindi nya binigyan ng hustisya ang essence ng pagiging chicken sandwich. di na mauulit. paalam.

music and noise

when we were in switzerland, janise introduced me to one of her good friends, jake. jake went all the way to switzerland to visit janise. talk about good friendship. :) on the topic of wonderful relationships, i remember when my best friends thecx and michie visited me in ohio last 2005. it's so heart-warming to see your good friends after a number of years and realize that nothing has changed despite the time and distance.

going back to jake, he's here in SG to visit janise again. janise asked if i wanted to join their pagtatagpo in clark quay. go! initially, i suggested a nice bbq/swimming in our place. another option was videoke. apparently jake didn't find these appealing at all. hahaha! how i've grown to be so manang over the years! oh well. clark quay it is.

i wanted to dress up. when was the last time i went clubbing? i looked inside my closet but i can't find a good dress. i settled with a black sleeveless blouse. i felt too bare. i changed again and snuggled into my favorite pink shirt. who goes to clark quay on a saturday and wears a shirt and jeans. uhm me? now i realize that my comfort level in trying out different styles in clothing is indirectly proportional to the number of years i stay alive. in all fairness to me and my confidence, i did wear a little makeup :) couldn't guarantee that i looked at my finest, but at least i tried :)

we didn't go clubbing after all. we just had 1 round of drinks, walked around clark quay so the visitors could get a glimpse of SG nightlife. as if i am familiar with it :p we got hungry and ate these wonderful shawarmas in one of the stalls. i just loved it! i had lamb shawarma and it is to die for. i promise.

where we were seated, the speakers were in full outrage. since i didn't know the songs, i assumed they are all from the latest charts. i was a bit embarrassed to see inang yaya (jake's yaya who was with him) swaying with the music and recognizing the songs, even naming them! how old am i?!? hahaha!

and then it hit me... that what other people (or generations) consider as music, i now find as noise. hahaha! to each his own. :))

so what do i now consider as music? stuff that other people might think as noise: laughter, stories, and chika. baduy much? hahaha!

bye bye bye

i just said goodbye and the other person doesn't know that i did. :p

goodbye to all the chikas.

goodbye to all the laughter.

goodbye to all the senseless questions, and to all the honest answers.

goodbye to all the trips to what-if-land.

goodbye to the mind-clearing opinions, solicited or not.

goodbye to no pretentions and to no filtering.

goodbye to trash talks and to sugar-coated ones.

goodbye to all the ego trips.

it's for the best.

trust me :)

bye bye bye

the cutest little girl

isn't she the coolest? :p

keyla just celebrated her 1st month of existence last week. i love it how she rocks our world now. ah eh, super iyakin lang talaga ng batang ito hahaha! the only things that could pacify her are: milk, more milk, karga, more karga. hahaha! could you believe a pacifier's purpose of pacifying babies is defeated with this little girl's antics?

i am certain that i won't mind cradling her for hours. even if she wails and wails and wails and wails, i won't get tired of taking care of her. just look at those eyes staring back at you. it melts all the negative things away. had a bad day? just hold her and smell her and talk to her. she won't respond or answer back, true, but just feeling her presence is like watching a thousand miracles right before your eyes.

i am confident that she'll be a very good person while april and kuya are in charge of molding her. :)

as i write this, i am a bit sad. i feel that i'll be sick and i can't get near her. i pray i'll get well soon. i can't get enough of this baby girl, keyla.

my hair is cheap

i didn't know this pic was sent. anyway, here's the story behind this pic: i find it funny that my hair is so cheap. i'm not hiyang to mamahaling shampoo hehe. i tried crab tree once, but my hair became stiff. fine hindi talaga sosyal ang buhok ko.

i'm a big fan of st. ive's shampoo and conditioner. it's relatively cheap and my hair is so lambot when i use it. the problem is, i can't find it in "normal" groceries. kuya bought it from mustafa. i don't want to go to mustafa. period.

i just had a hair rebond. the parlorista (or is it parloristo?), keno, urged me to buy a 70 SGD loreal shampoo and conditioner. i was urged. hehehe. so there, i'm now using a mamahaling shampoo/conditioner. my hair is unwell. see? my hair is not sosyal!

i also tried a kao shampoo. this one's also chipipay! grabe. i remember we have this brand in the philippines and it's caled kao biore, or something like that. my hair's so lambot din with this product! grabe. i'm so cheap nakakaloka!

so back to the pic: a few nights ago, kuya and i were at fairprice buying groceries. this brand caught my attention kasi naman pare, around 4 SGD lang silang dalawa! as in shampoo + conditioner at 4 SGD! what's scary is walang literature sa label kung ano-anong meron syang sangkap. i bought it anyway. my hair is cheap so it won't complain. i tried it once. so far, so good.

i love it how my hair is so cheap-o! i would love to be back to mustafa, though. i'd hoard tons of st. ive's. at least i know what's in it. haha!

awake

what keeps me up when i feel so sleepy at work? this cup of coffee.
the image formed looks so wide awake too. haha. if this can't keep you
up, what else will?

i am a hard-headed girl. i drink coffee, i palpitate, i get jumpy, i
complain, i promise i won't drink coffee again. it's just a cycle. argh.

an early stress

time check: 8 months to go before the wedding.

things have been moving in a very slow pace. we haven't really added anything in our accomplishments list since february. i hope we are not taking it too easy.

gowns. i'm getting a little nervous about this. when i went home last feb, we booked our gown designer. we booked in good faith - no sketches, no serious talks at all. he had a lot of good feedbacks in w @ w so i was pretty confident that he delivers well. that, plus i've seen his portfolio and his designs are great! i met him one saturday last feb. he didn't sketch then. he just asked for details and inspiration and told us that if we decide to get him, he'll send the sketches via email.

i thought that i will go ahead with the booking after seeing the sketch, just to be safe, and we left the shop. after 2 days, i was eager to check the gowns designer on my checklist. so i said, i'll just go ahead with the booking - in good faith - and just wait for the sketch. if i don't like it, then i'll just tell him to sketch another one.

so we deposited the DP to his account and sort of "booked" him.

then came some negative feedback in w @ w. negative as in: he didn't deliver on time for this bride and the outcomes were not satisfactory. then that's when i started to get nervous. i don't know what his reasons are for not delivering for that bride as agreed.

march is over and i still don't have my sketches. i followed up a number of times but he's really hard to reach. i was lucky last thursday. i saw him on chat and asked about the sketches. he said he'll send them after the holy week. he isn't apologetic at all. sure, it's just a sketch, but if you say you'll send something to a client by this date, aren't you supposed to keep track of it somehow? and deliver? otherwise, send a notice that you can't? it seems he isn't even aware that he promised the sketches by march. sheesh.

somehow, trust is broken. i'm not sure if it's too early to worry about it or if it would be better to withdraw this early and look for another one. the problem is, i'm not sure if he'll be happy to return the DP. sigh.

quasi-cherry blossom festival

it's cherry blossom season in japan :) i've always wanted to go. well, japan is on my places-i-must-see-before-i-die list, with or without cherry blossoms!

there is a park in front of our apartment. and there are a number of quasi-cherry blossom trees there :)) quasi, because: they are NOT cherry blossoms. the flowers resemble the kalachuchi flowers in pinas. mygali. they are quasi-cherry blossoms AND quasi-kalachuchi. what are they?! hahaha!

one morning, before going to work, i was mesmerized by the bed of flowers that formed on the ground. the trees adorned with flowers are wonderful to look at. the bed of flowers is also gorgeous, but it's a bit mushy if you step on them hehe.

flowers everywhere! flowers on the grass, flowers on the kanal rails!

cherry blossoms everywhere (weh kunwari lang!) white ones and even pink ones a few meters away!

flowers on the sidewalk. ;) lovely!

dear japan,

will you wait for me? one day i'll see you.

mwah!

love,

me