sabi ng kantang 'to

and all at once the crowd begins to sing
sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

all at once
-the fray

hankyut

ok lang naman pala

bakit ko naman ine-exhaust ang katawan ko over things na hindi naman worth pagkapaguran? :)
marami pang bagay na mas worth pag-exertan ng effort, right? :)
transform negative vibes into positive. :)
mamuhunan ng positive energy. :)
gain positive energy. :)
may tubo pa. :)
ayz? :)
ayz! :)
i love life! :)

"bantay, play dead"

diba dapat, para kay bantay lang ito? :(

annoying tv, annoying remote control

our tv remote control has been this useless piece of crap for the longest time now. we don't know why it suddenly stopped functioning. its time here on earth has just come to an end probably. it just ceased to serve its purpose. we kept it anyway. while waiting for the good timing to purchase a new one, it just sat there on top of the magazine rack. sometimes, we try if it would still breathe into life. it won't. crap.

how do we control the tv then? it's the biggest challenge of the century. instead of sitting comfortably on the sofa, munching on something, and channel surfing, we do everything manually - as in go in front of tv, turn it on, push channel up/down buttons, push volume up/down buttons, turn it off. i guess i'm just a lazy person that's why i find these burdensome. fine. it's not that much of a task provided the buttons function correctly. they don't. they have lives of their own - stubborn lives.

channel up button - also functions as off button - almost always. imagine the frustration it brings when you try to switch channels! mikey actually thought i was pulling a stunt on him once. he was changing channels and was getting really annoyed because he thought i was using a remote to switch it off. hahaha... and he gave me a mega glare. and i was like "what?!?!". hey, i'm not an alien! hahaha really annoying.

channel down, volume up, volume down buttons - also function as volume up. annoying. really annoying! imagine the bugnot i feel when watching the tv at 2am. naturally i have to turn the volume down - only it gets louder! at 2am. syet. louder and louder until it reaches the maximum volume. harharhar. sorry neighbors. you have to push really, really, really hard to turn the volume down. syet.

so watching tv has become this big, annoying, painstaking activity. hahaha. bakit ba kasi hindi pa bumili ng remote?! ilang buwan na yan e!

when i got to the office today, i called win. he said he miraculously brought the remote back to life! oh, good! yipee! tv, wait for me!

sobrang maling reaksyon

papasok sa office at 3pm, it was the usual super init day. todo wipe na naman ako ng kapawisan ko sa ilong (uuuyy selosa!), sa batok, leeg, at hairline hehe! pero ang summer season ay hanggang buendia lang. yez. dahil pagdating ng bandang mayapis, rainy season na. weird.

medyo windang ako... parang lagi naman e. basta papasok ako kse naman todo ang init! tapos biglang umulan so ang confusion at katuliruhan ko ay umabot sa maximum level. wala ba sa sarili. ang gusto ko lang talagang mangyari ay makarating ako sa comfort ng aking cube.

bago ako pumasok sa lobby ng rcbc, yung before na magcheck ang manong guard ng bag, may mga lalaking nakatambay dun. mga naka sports attire ba... parang kaka basketball lang. parang, aah, san kaya sila galing? pero kebs lang ako. muka silang sumilong lang dahil umaambon nga nang malakas. or hindi pa makababa... something like that. or parang waiting for someone. i didn't really care 'cause hindi ko naman sila kilala.

"hi cat!", yan ang narinig ko from one of them. sounded an awful lot like "hi cat!".

dahil likas akong magugulatin, halos napatalon ako sa gulat. i looked at him at todo smile sya... kung nakakapagsalita lang ang mukha, ang sabi siguro ng mukha ko ay: "sino ka?!?!?" at medyo lalong naghalo-halo ang naramdaman ko. hindi ko sya kilala, pero ang face nya ay parang "uy! ako 'to!". i smiled - a confused smile at hinukay ko ang utak ko pero his face wasn't even familiar! i was super clueless talaga!

i didn't stop. i just walked towards the lobby... and into rcbc. hahaha! i assumed he thought i was somebody else. i was sooo rude! grabe sorry! ang feeling ko ay nagkamali lang sya ng tawag, at akala nya ay ako si... cat? oops teka ako nga si cat! waah! kung sino man sya, sorry! nalito talaga ako... sino ako? asan ako? sino ka? hahaha! sisa! magpakita ka ulit sa'kin at magsosorry ako sayo... waaah!

* ang tumatawag lang sakin ng cat ay mga kapamilya ko... as in mami, wawin, kuya, a few relatives, mikey. at hindi sya isa dun... waaah! must be a relative... or a neighbor?

quickie tuesdays and/or thursdays

i so look forward to tuesdays and thursdays (bukod sa friday, of course). if the circumstances permit, mikey and i eat out. quickie ito hihihi. i say quickie 'cause we try to squeeze in eating, story-telling, kulitan, picturan, and all in more or less an hour. after his class sa vito cruz, he rushes to makati. kitakits, pre. hihi.

medyo challenging maghanap ng mga food spots na open pa at past 9 pm. well, marami pa rin namang bukas. and it doesn't really matter kung saan, as long as there's foodie.

after ng medyo mabilisang dinner, we head off to ate yogi's office. pick her up (sa pick-up point) and drop me off (sa drop-off). ayos sounds cute. that's the set-up. hihi.

one of my little joys in life... the feeling is light yet overwhelming... :) just right.

summer na naman

grabe na ang init ng panahon! parang kailan lang, matutuwa ka pa kahit na lumabas ka ng 2:00 ng hapon kse medyo chilly pa ang panahon kahit na may araw. e ngayon, hay. kasabay ng pag-init ng panahon ang pang-init din ng ulo ng mga taong nasa ilalim ng araw. halos lahat nakasimangot! kasama na 'ko dun. hehe. mahirap talagang ngumiti kapag mainit ang araw. ewan ko. instinct ko na sigurong kumunot ng noo. kse silawin akong tao. at hindi ako palangiti lalo na kung mag-isa lang ako. may mga tao lang sigurong nasa nature na ang pagngiti (hindi ako isa sa kanila. sorry :-S).

masaya ang summer. favorite ko itong panahon. mas natotolerate ko kasi ang init kesa sa lamig. hehe. pero... may mga bagay lang talagang nakakairita kapag summer (specifically kapag namamasahe ka lang):

mga mukang nakasimangot dahil sa init

mga pathetic na aircon sa mga fx at bus. hindi talaga nila carry ang init.

pawis. maraming pawis.

ang pawis ng katabi mo ay pawis mo na rin. yak.

isama na natin sa pawis ang amoy ng pawis. yak. (ok lang ito as long as hindi lilipat sayo ang amoy ng katabi mo)

dahil kulot ako, nagpaparelax ako ng buhok. at kapag naarawan ang relaxed kong buhok, lumulutong ito. ayoko nito.

yung mga taong sobrang vocal na naiinitan sila. mga super sighs at kung ano-anong sinasabi kahit na mag-isa lang sila. cool, man! bawal init-ulo.

yung init pag sinamahan mo ng traffic, riot ito. mas maraming nagiging vocal sa mga feelings of disgust nila. dangerous combo.

nakakaitim ang araw. kundi rin lang sa beach iitim, sayang naman. sa beach lang ako lisensyadong umitim.

hmm... yun lang naman other than those, i love everything about summer! what do you know? SUMMER NA TALAGA!!!! woohoo! life is good!!!

malaya na si wawin (for now)

wawin has just completed the school requirements for this term. today is their finals week and yesterday was the last day he did stuff to complete the projects.

things wawin did for this term:

sulat mania - i remember during elementary, we had this paulinian writing and we grew calluses writing on our paulinian writing book. win's engineering writing, i guess, is the counterpart for this. a paper would probably mean research, type, print, and submit. that is a REGULAR paper. win's paper meant manually writing and drawing on hundreds of pages using this engineering stroke. and i can't help him because my writing doesn't have an engineer's touch. i don't get it why their profs want it that way but they sure do get it the way they want it. as if students have a choice. it's just that it sounds freaky writing hundreds of pages. poor wawin.

sleepless nights - of course kadikit ng sulat at drawing kamay ay oras. win had a couple of nights with 0 hours of sleep talga. i used to do this during college. i guess, it's really a part of college life. you stay awake all night, and you go to school the next day looking and feeling like a zombie. mahirap ito. i remember i invited mosquitos to bite me just to ward off feelings of antok. bangenge.

no social life - for most days, weekends included, win was this geeky boy. he didn't have time to eat decently, he didn't have time to even make kwento with us, he had to say goodbye to his pc games, i hardly saw him watching tv, he never played his guitar, he didn't even have time to smile! beat that! although i know they manage to have alak sessions every now and then. ang kapatid ko'y masipag sa pag-aaral ngunit mabisyo rin. hehehe

marathon - ate had to be part of this ordeal. yesterday, i accompanied him in searching for a bookbinding shop. we were in crappy pambahay attire... as in crappy shirt, shorts, and tsinelas kse sa sucat lang naman, pero no luck. we were out of time so we rushed to moa - looking crappy and all. no luck pa rin, we headed to sm manila. and we made libot intramuros ata e and the whole of manila! grabe!!! we looked like palaboy people. argh. and i swear, the soles of my feet were all crappy na rin after ng hiking namin. ang libag! kung di ko lang lab si baby wawin hehehe.

i may have missed something. these are really exhausting... yesterday, after the bookbind session, win was really happy and relieved. he started watching tv series again, he even played his guitar! yehey! way to go! a few more months and your student days are done. good luck!

mga parte ng araw

umaga
dead pa ako.

tanghali
birthday treat nina ate maj at char. it was a trip to spi memory lane. dorots, jet, nina (paksyet ayaw gumana ng alt164 ko hehe. klangan talgang sabihin yun?), kent, joy, anabelle, angie, mumay, and iane were there. cool ang food sa dampa, macapagal. masarap. para ano pa ang masarap na pagkain kung walang masarap na ka-kwentuhan? everyone had a good dose of updates and chisms.

bad trip ang u-turn slot sa may coastal mall. ah eh, lalong nagpapatrapik ito, mga manong. mas maigi siguro kung paderetsuhin na lang sa coastal mall kesa mag u-turn pa. hassle e.

salamat sa great food at great company! happy birthday, ate maj and char!

gabi
sa mga hindi nakakaalam, 2 ang gf ni wentworth miller - si tonette at ako. this is the only time i could tolerate sharing of bfs. i wouldn't mind sharing a bf as cutie as went. and i wouldn't mind sharing him with a friend as special as tonette. tama na ang kalokohan.

i invited tonette to watch the 2 latest episodes of prison break since pareho kaming crazy over went. ang ingay namin. marami kaming shrieks of kilig and excitement and oa stuff na pinakawalan at 12 midnight. good luck sa mga kapitbahay namin. wala namang tanod na sumugod sa bahay namin. so good noise pa naman ang ginawa namin siguro.

ayos talga ang prison break. twist na naman! mukang may season 3 pa a. baka naman umabot na sa manhunt ng kaapu-apuhan nila. hehe.

madaling-araw
ganado ako magpost. bakit? ewan. good chat with acy about kiri and good chat with kuya about tfc. i never thought kuya would be a tfc advocate. he's asking me to have a week-long vacation dun. awww... miss na talga nya siguro kami. i will once i get enough leave credits.

*just a thought... maybe it's time to change strategies. i had a couple of useful tips and hints. :) thanks, pals!

walang punctuation marks

disappointed
over a lot of things
but like everything else
this too shall pass
but when it does
what happens next
it just goes by i guess
just like time
just like a moment
just like you and me

i remember
when as a kid i used to play
with this thing called magic slate
jot it all down
mess with it if i wish to
and in the end
if i dont find it appealing
just lift the tab
and what do you know
it is a clean slate after all

i can do just that if you want me to
but life is not a magic slate
neither am i

life is a big question mark

i had a good chat with michie. i told her things i was afraid to admit even to myself. the words just kept flowing out of my mouth... make that my fingers - i was typing LOL!

i realized it was the first time i ever talked it over with somebody else. i dunno if i'm just being affected with the sad circumstances around me (i'm being so vague sheesh), but yeah. THAT really is the case and it will stay that way.

it is a sad realization... sad but it felt great to say it point-blank. so there really is some sense beyond the bungisngisan and childish talks! we made so much sense in between laughs. and it all summed up to: life is a big question mark. it is not harmless to take risks, but what harm would it do to take them anyway? you'll never know until you try. if you feel it's worth a try, then go ahead! jump! as long as it makes you happy (and you don't use someone, that is).

nice talk, michie. ulitin natin. :)

being a user... is another topic i'd gladly blab about in another post... just you wait. hahaha. is this a threat?

what's up, doc?

i know three people who passed the Physician Licensure Examination:

GERVACIO, CHARMAINE ZITA LARDIZABAL
SIAPNO, DEBRELLE LOU PUCHERO
OBLEFIAS, JONATHAN ZAPATOS

charm and debbie were HS classmates from st. paul. charm was a class officer from 1st yr to 4th yr. she always has this blush on her neck and face probably because she's so puti hihi. her theme song is "love me for a reason" mwehehehe. debbie, i remember was a shy girl. i think the last time i saw her was on HS graduation. we were never that close but i know she is debbie and i am proud of her as well. and jo is a friend whom i met through friendster. i pest him with med questions from time to time - make that every time i see him online. hehe. i haven't met him personally but i know he's a good-hearted person.

it has always been every child's dream to become a doctor someday. i know i hoped for it once in my childhood. the difference, i guess, is they lived to make their hopes come true. it wasn't just a child's play but they were really called to it. some were called but didn't have enough dedication and guts to get through with it. i guess they're among the toughest bunch. they made it this far.

so there, i think i'm somehow proud to be acquainted with these great people. i know they're going to be good doctors with the biggest hearts. with this big leap, they have empowered themselves with the ability to heal, cure, and serve people. and what's next is really clear - people will entrust them with their lives and these lives will lie on their hands. they may pursue further education, but the important thing is, they're an inch closer to that every child's dream. :)

congratulations dear friends! libre?

tigdas updates

i'm just at home. all day and all night. what could i possibly write about but my tigdas...

so i went back to the clinic for my cbc count. i waited for an hour for the results. in the meantime, i watched dozens of kids waiting for their turn to be checked as well. doc is actually a pediatrician and so there were tons of kids there. i thought sobrang tiba-tiba si doc dito ah... hehe. that clinic is always that packed! everyday!

after an hour, i have the results and brought them to doc. she said that the platelet count is a bit low: 176. the normal value is 140 - 440. she asked me if i don't feel drained. "a little," i answered. so she wants me to be back on friday for another cbc count. she said she just wants to be sure the count is not dropping.

i'm not 100% dengue free. sheeez. ayaw ko na magka dengue. it's a traumatic disease for me - it almost killed me once way back 3rd yr hs. well, maybe because it was too late when we found out then. i've been having fevers for almost a week before we consulted the doctor. today is different. daig ng maagap ang maingat. maagap na ako. hehe.

i didn't get feedback from big boss about that vpn account so i don't know how i could work from home today. what keeps me busy?

matulog

at matulog

mag sudoku

manood ng tv

mag-internet

kumain

masaya diba? btw, i asked doc if it's german measles. yes daw. i also asked if i could take a bath. yes daw! yehey! and i also asked if nakakahawa pa ako by friday. yes daw so i should take friday off as well. haay. i miss my new cube.

meron akong...

tigdas hangin... sabi ni doc. viral exanthem - sabi sa medical certificate ko.

di ba masyado na akong matanda para magkaron nun? i thought. "uso ba yun ngayon doc?" i asked. yes daw, kahit matanda kahit bata. where the heck did i get that communicable disease? syet.

last sunday, my lymph nodes were swollen. particularly on the neck and behind the ears. i was feeling unusually tired. i thought all that sudoku made me drained haha meron na pala akong slight fever.

when i was about to take a bath yesterday,i noticed some rashes on my chest, neck, and arms. i thought those were just plain rashes and i went to work anyway. maria noticed my eyes were peachy in color... and true enough, my eyes were a bit swollen. when i got home last night, i had slight fever again.

mom said it looks like measles. i searched for symptoms and super swak sa mga symptoms ko. so i went to a clinic nearby and doc confirmed that it was tigdas hangin nga raw. i have to go back tom for blood tests just to be sure it's not dengue. not again, please.

so i'm on a three-day sick leave. i haven't earned that much leave credit yet so i requested for a vpn account so i could work from home on the 21st and 22nd.

hay. bawal magkasakit eh!

greatest gift on valentine's day version 2.0

it has always been a tradition for kuya to give me and mom flowers on valentine's day. i thought this year that it will be different and incomplete. kuya is away, so there will be no more flowers on vday. when i got home last night at 1:30am, there was this bouquet of red roses on my bed. in the card, it read:

dear ate/cat,

happy valentine's day!

love,
erwin/kuya

it was from a flower shop nearby. and i figured that kuya must have been the master mind but win was the implementor. hehe. i was teary-eyed. you thoughtful guys you... hihi.

it's not so much about the grandeur of the bouquet of roses thing, but who wouldn't want to receive roses, right? but for all i care, it could have been a mini cloud 9 chocolate, a bazooka bubble gum, a pretzel stick. wehehe... whatever. the thing is, he's far away and he still thought of giving us something. touched... sofer. mapalad ang mga babaeng iibigin ninyo at malas ang magpapakawala sa inyo. bwahahahaha!

greatest gift on valentine's day version 1.0

the greatest pre-valentine gift i probably received was the gift of forgiveness. a good friend has been aloof for a couple of weeks now. prior to that, he has been a great colleague. we shared sincere laughter, sentiments, and real friendship. he would pass by our work area to just fool around and laugh with us and, believe it or not, to impart the greatest lessons in life.

he started to avoid us all of a sudden. we didn't know why. we had a few paranoid clues but they were, for us, too shallow to repel him like that. we exerted effort to hopefully bring back what has been lost, or to simply know why he has been acting that way. but he continued to avoid us... said he was just too stressed with work. and we took it that way and we respected his indirect request for space. we found ourselves avoiding him just the same, bowing down whenever we see him just so our eyes won't meet, and yes, lousily pretending that we didn't see each other. it sucks.

we learned that yesterday was his last day at work. we received an email from him. he was apologizing and he told us that things were out of his control, but he promised us that he would keep in touch in the following days. we were in tears - a mixture of sad and happy tears, and every emotion imaginable.

thank you for the gift of friendship and forgiveness, given on the 13th day of february, year 2007. you can't get back what you have already given, and we'll keep this as long as we can... no matter what. we love you and you'll be a friend for life. 101.9

ulirang empleyado

whoever said that drinking on a monday night is ok? not that i had too much to drink. it's just a bottle, but we stayed out until 4 am. and i woke up this morning with a light head... and that's not good. i should get a plaque for being model employee. hey, i was able to balance social life with work! that's tough job!

the buzz

my current hit list:

heroes - is at the top of my list woohoo! i definitely love heroes! i'm aching for more every time i watch it. the twists make me feel bad at the end of each episode, and at the same time i feel good with longing for the next one. i used to not like claire. but now, i think she's very pretty and smart. peter is eventually getting control over his powerssss and i hope it'll be all good. my favorite character is hiro nakamura. he's so adorable! with that gigil look on his face every time he tries to control time, he looks like a baby. heroes... is simply the best. i wish i had an ability too. hehe. save the cheerleader, save the world!

prison break - i used to only roll my eyes when kuya would watch the first few episodes of prison break. he explained with eyes wide open that michael had the map of the prison tattooed on his body to save his innocent brother. lame, i thought. boring, more thoughts. but i was eventually forced to watch it. and there were two discoveries i made about myself. first is, i'm so in love with wentworth. hehe. and the second is, i probably missed 3/4 of my life had i not hooked up with him.. errrr with the series, i mean. there are so many twists as well, but i wonder how they could further prolong the story when the concept, really, is just prison break and man hunt. we'll see. i'd watch it forever if i have to. oa.

the holiday - is the latest movie i saw. fresh na fresh. something new for cameron - her role's not so kikay. kate was so pathetic at first - three years to get over someone?! and it's not even a relationship! jude was simply... yummy! overly perfect, though. he can't exist in real world! jack was cute! "boob graze!", i think, was his best line. mr. abbott's scenes were very touching. i would want to meet someone like him someday... someone who will make a difference in my life, and vice versa. there were a couple of good insights about relationships. very light, funny in some sense, romantic, cute film.

the messengers - haven't seen it. probably won't. i'd love too. but my movie partner doesn't want to see it. although i gave assurances that i'll hug him for the entire duration of the film, pat his butt so he can just meme, do whatever it takes to make him watch it with me, he wouldn't watch it. it'll give him nightmares daw. according to him, he'd rather watch it on dvd at home (where screams are allowed, probably). i'll take his word for it. just wait till i get one. just wait! and we'll watch it no matter what.

smallville - has been evicted from my list. i stopped seeing it. i used to love it, but it became this dragging piece of crap. how long till i see him fly with that spandex costume? argh. too much. win convinced me that the story's becoming interesting again with the justice league in the scene... so i watched the 2nd to the latest episode last night. it's becoming cute again but i'm still not that interested. giving it a chance though, so i'm putting it back at the semi-bottom of the list. we'll see.

maging sino ka man - dang. i used to watch it over youtube at the office (i'm not alone with this ordeal ha!). hehe. bad. but they probably found out about the mega bandwidth so youtube was blocked. clever. i sooo love celine and jb. not so much for bea and john loid. too mushy. all i could do now is ask cecil about it. what happened? so it's like this big jigsaw puzzle with too many missing pieces. i won't probably fill them in. sad.

on stepping stones

i know we all have a common goal and it is to be successful in life. we have different definitions of being successful.

to some, success is having megazillions of money in numerous bank accounts. the more money they gain, the more secured they feel, the more power they think they have. have an overflowing pocket and you own the world. the possibilities are endless. there's nothing you can't do or have, and they are happy that way.

others equate success to a happy family life. to have a decent and comfortable, if not luxurious life. putting the members of the family in a state where the necessities in life are handy is the priority. there might be a few room for the secondary pleasures, but everything could eventually come smoothly. what's important now is the family is there with a sturdy foundation.

to some, success may mean you are the apple of your boss's eyes. "yes, boss" is a staple phrase of the mouth. be good to big boss and you secure yourself of a good position in your job. you get good promises. you get to be the right hand. you get to know the headlines. you become almost immortal... almost. give boss a few "useful" information and you might have yourself grinning for some great surprises.

i recall that someone defined success as being anywhere you want to be at any given time. sweet! i like! hahaha!

people have different definitions of success and different strategies in life. we all have unique ways of reaching that end line. others are kind-hearted, others are built for the kill. when grasping for that medal we call success, we may step on other people, knowingly or unknowingly. we get what we want at the expense of stomping on other people's rights, make that SIMPLY stomping (not just stepping) on other people. and the others are just helpless and clueless that they're being treaded on. "i don't care, as long as i get there".

there's this game in takeshi's castle that's so like this concept. point A and point B are separated by water. player starts on point A and the goal is to reach point B by using the stepping stones. some stones are real stones, others aren't - they're merely floating and will pull the player along with it once stepped on. so you just hope that you get to step on the real hard stones. when you step on the fake ones, you fall. beware! you just might step on one of those and you too just might be engulfed by the murky water. game over. dead ka na. sa presinto ka na magpaliwanag. oh, it's just worth mentioning that this game on takeshi is sooo fun to watch! :)