ubo

i've been coughing for the past few weeks.

i've always been like this when i have cough. it lasts for a long, long time! once when i was still in manila, i had a cough for more than a month. being ms. paranoid, i consulted a doctor and told him outright i wanted a chest x-ray because i fear i might have tb. he laughed at me while evaluating the results. my lungs are healthy daw. hehe. better to be sure than sorry.

now, the cough season is here. what's more, there's still the h1n1 scare. i've been coughing for the longest time but i haven't had the chance to consult a doctor yet because work is putting its toll on me... big time!

as each day passes by, i realize there's a nasty pattern going on here. on weekdays, i bark nonstop. and what's with weekdays? WORK! not just work, but stress that hammers on me like crazy. since the cut of employees, work load doubled overnight and i'm not used to this kind of pressure. waah! whatever happened to good, old petiks days? i'm not used to attending meetings and talking with lots of people and doing testing all at once. i was just a simple girl who went to work to test. and i miss this badly.

anyway, as i said, i bark nonstop and my cough sounds like i need a bed rest. hehehe as in ubong kailangan nang ihiga! but what can i do? so i just cough it all out and work just the same. come friday, the cough relaxes a bit and by saturday morning, i tell you the cough is gone! like magic! so i go by my weekend cough-free and carefree. i feel well and relaxed despite humongous house chores.

the mystery starts again on sunday evening when the cough finds its way through my system again :( therefore i equate this cough with work :( and stress :( and pressure :( psychological cough? meron ba nun? eew.

showbiz

i am watching asap at the moment. trip lang. here are my thoughts...

i think juday is very beautiful. i'm glad she had this wonderful transformation from being the pambansang siopao to being ms. fitrum. i really think she's very pretty. :)

i don't like bea. i don't like her singing voice. i get annoyed when i see her on tv. as in ANNOYED. affected si ate?!? haha

i like anne! she's very arte but carry nya ito! i like her face. i like that she's super true, walang panggap, very cute and very sowsyal. i like her!

i like zsazsa too. i think she's elegant and i like her voice. i'm not too fond of karylle though. hihi. sorry!

i'm beginning to appreciate billy joe crawford as a performer. haha! in fairness, he's magaling naman kumanta and sumayaw, he's magaling ;) and bagay sila ni niki.

i think echo is tooooo pa-sweet. ulk.

piolo. NR. hehe.

i like john lloyd! he's funny and witty, i think. i like his porma. kakaiba.

of course, sarah! she's very charming and cute and galing and very nice.

oh, and i love the sessionistas!!! i love aiza and nina and mymp!

haha... ang arte ko. kaasar.

regrets

being a bitch last night

being a bad girl at times

cultivating tiny negative thoughts into monstrous schemes

acting as if don't care

spilling

pretending i didn't see it

not understanding

thank God for understanding, forgiving people.

$37

my, my. i'm so happy!

last week, i bought some goodies: 3 laundry nets @ $3, my favorite loreal tecni art liss control @ $19. i put them all in a plastic carrier along with my old umbrella ($15 then). all along, i knew i took the carrier home with me. but somehow, the carrier disappeared :( you just don't throw $37 away! life is hard, every cent should count and be saved.

i just didn't know how it disappeared.

yesterday, i was cleaning the house when i spotted the carrier inside this drawer by the dining table!!! and i was soooo happy when i found it! i don't have to buy new laundry nets, hair conditioner, and umbrella after all! yahoo!

purple toes (and purple veins)

mama

i am a member of the friday club. we are (not so) young employees meeting on fridays, sharing good food, good stories, good laughter... sharing the good life! we take turns cooking dinner in our homes.

last friday, it was held at jan's house. we had pasta. mike brought videoke - or what might have been videoke. hahaha. it was a bit bizarre because what started as a good dinner ended up being a care group sharing the deepest, darkest moments of your life. i learned so much from them that night. it was like watching 4 different episodes of MMK in one session. but how i loved it!

when i was younger, sharing family problems with classmates and friends was a struggle. it was almost taboo. but as i grew older, both body and soul, i found i easier to open up about the drama of my life. not that my life is or was sad. in fact, my troubles are very trivial if compared to others. i thank God for this blessing.

mama. she was the object of my sharing last friday. i told the group that my mama is my strength. mama knows the right thing to do and say - all the time. i'm not exaggerating. she has been the pillar and light of our family. when the boat is sinking, she knows how to save our lives. and everyday, i dream that i will be like her when my turn to be a mama comes.

i feel so blessed because i still have mama with me. i can't imagine how painful and dark and empty life will be without ma's laughter, words, silliness, wisdom. we have never been affectionate when we were growing up. we didn't hug, we didn't say i love you. we only kissed when we said good bye and good night, but that's it. so now, i am trying. i say i love you when we chat and it's a wonderful feeling. i don't want to wait for the day when she can't hear me say that anymore.

mama's coming on august. i can't wait :)

it's been a while

it's been a while since my last post. i've been really lazy. work has been crazy and will be crazy for the next couple of weeks.

it's been a while since i last saw mom. i miss her. but hey! wawin's here! he finally decided to look for a job here. it's been a while too, but there's no rush. :) the perfect time will come.

it's been a while since i last played monkey bars (or baras sa pagkakaalam ko simula bata). it's been a while because the last time i tried was kindergarten. i was good at it! and all the while i thought i'm still good at it. last saturday, i tried it again. i was able to go forward by one bar! :( i'm old!

it's been a while since i last held and played the guitar. i'm not good at it. i've never been. hehe. but i learned to play the intro of "the best i've ever had" by vertical horizon. hehe.

it's been a while since i last jogged. had a good jog last saturday at east coast with wawin. nice one :)

it's been a while since i last played on a swing! and i had a grand time last saturday! woohoo!

red toes

yay! red toes! i never thought i'll ever wear my toes red. metallic red even! april invited me to try a pedicure/foot spa. i was supposed to have tan or something less obvious because i don't usually color my toenails. i think this is just my 2nd pedicure and the first was something very discreet. kuya said, "try something that will give your toes attitude!" wow kuya kelan ka pa naging concerned sa attitude na inaalay ko sa mundo? hahaha!

ok fine, try something new na lang :) so red it is! i actually like it. medyo maikli nga lang ang kuko ko. haha pero nakakaaliw syang pagmasdan. parang tumitingin ako sa christmas tree. ano raw?

the foot spa was very good. i enjoyed it! maka-avail ng package hehehe. enjoy! next time, parang ok din ang dark purple. o dava! attitude kung attitude! bwahahaha!

all you need is...

i found another yummy love! this is gardenia banana walnut bread.

at the bottom of the pic, there's this heart-shaped banana. or walnut. whatever. it's yummy :)

happiness is...

devouring on mom's favorite breakfast!

minana ko sa kanya ang pagkahilig sa nilagang itlog sa agahan, sawsaw toyo! yum.

ang dali naman naming paligayahin. hehe! 

awww, i miss mami. kung sinong maunang magising, syang maglalaga ng itlog! hahaha!

ang sabi nya...

"do you have to mightily wave the banner of your so-called perfect life just to make me feel i am living in a miserable slum?"

sometimes

- it doesn't feel so right -

- i feel there will never be a hundred percent -

- it just seems to be a hundred percent, but it isn't and it will never be that -

- there is a thought that the tip of the pyramid is just an illusion and it does not actually exist -

- i run (britney) -

- not sometimes, but always, i yearn to be a good girl (so help me God) -

happiness is...

walking leisurely on my way home...

while reading a good, addictive book :)

this is a 15-minute walk/read i'm talking about :)

and this is undomestic goddess by sophie kinsella i'm talking about.

it's a good read. thanks to april for lending the book.

(however, hmm, i don't like it when i step on something i'm not supposed to step on. hehehe. i stepped on something that looks like gum today. please, let it be gum. hehe.)

the saddest eyes i've ever seen

went to toys r us earlier today. kuya was looking for a toy for his colleague's kid. amidst the happy, bubbly, soulful faces in the stuffed toys section, this bear caught my attention. it has the saddest eyes and expression. poor bear. 

i guess i could pass as a sad, sad bear the other night and the whole day yesterday. give me a faintest hint of drama and i cry right away. i cried sadly when kris allen won. it was supposed to be a happy moment! 

feeling better now. for now, i leave dear bear in his despair. smile for me, dear bear? hard. but it's worth a try.

happiness is...

going home from work and catching the last few minutes of the warmth and gentle glare of the sun :)

found it!

wow! sinuyod ko na lahat ng tindahan dito, hindi ko nakita itong collagen elastin na ito. nagpatingin din ako kay ma nung nasa is-tates sya. 'di rin sya nakabili.

sa pilipinas ko lang pala matatagpuan! yehey! salamat kay mama sa pagbili ng 2 malaking garapon :) 

pero 'di ko pa napurbahan ang bisa nya sa mukha dahil may mga ginagamit pa akong gusto kong ubusin muna. yehey!

pagkain ng gutom

yum. tipak-tipak na kanin. tipak-tipak na menudo. cheez whiz on rice. yum.

(babala: walang tabang nakain sa hapunang ito. yum.)

comfort food, comfort beverage

comfort food

napakasarap ng cheez whiz. wee! matagal-tagal na ring panahon na hindi ako nakakain nito. nang maglunch kami sa LP nung friday, ay! may i buy talaga ako ng pinakamalaking bote :) yum. perfect sya sa gardenia bread - natry ko sa banana walnut at calfornia raisin. naiimagine kong masarap lalo sa corn bread. ay kahit saan sigurong bread masarap sya :)

comfort beverage

uso ang ubo't sipon. panong hindi e lahat ng nakapaligid sa 'yo sa bus at sa opisina e umuubo, sumisipon, dumadahak na parang wala nang bukas. walang takipan ng bibig! ayos! hay. sige hawa-hawa na tayong lahat. isama mo pa ang panahong matindi pa sa babae kung magpalit ng isip. masarap sa pakiramdam ang hot tea na may lime or calamansi. wow katamaran, delatang calamansi. hehe.

comfort. hay. sarap. ginhawa. :)

literally bottled up

i saw the poorest things in a restaurant in manila. i'm not 100% sure if these are lobsters caged in soda bottles (green bottles are sprites and clear ones are cokes hehe). i didn't find them yummy or tempting in any way :( i asked mike why they are kept this way. he said it's because they tend to eat each other so they have to be isolated from the time they were tiny babies until they reach their maturity and become ready for someone's plate.

sigh. it's a sad sight. talk about freedom. those in green bottles are even worse! imagine growing in a very secluded green world! hindi kaya magkaron sila ng deperensya sa pag-iisip? :(

naapektuhan na naman si ate. haha. i don't think i could eat them. ewan ko lang din. depende siguro sa gutom. hehe. susme e ganun talaga sila palakihin e. anong magagawa ko?

oh well. it was in that restaurant that i tried shabu shabu for the first time. dined there twice. one prior to the teeth extraction and one after. well, yung second time ata hindi na shabu shabu kundi sabaw sabaw. weeh corny. both times were superb!

all you need is...

one afternoon, i found a treasure while eating calbee chips. yummy love :)