another paranoia attack (and a lot more)

i've been coughing for a couple of weeks now and i didn't mind it 'cause i've always been sensitive to pollution, yosi usok and the likes. last wednesday, at work, i felt this pain on my right rib when i cough and i realized that heck... i've been coughing for the longest time and i didn't bother to consult a doctor about this. why am i all of a sudden feeling pain on my right rib. i've heard similar stories like this and it turns out they have tb.

ok being the paranoid queen that i am... that night i couldn't sleep, i started recording videos - said my good byes and thank yous to my family and friends. i had a couple of shoots. i didn't like it when i don't smile hihi. mukang may sakit eh. i deleted the videos anyway. i'll just re-shoot when i'm certain of my "sickness"...

thursday, can't take it anymore. took a leave and went to manila doctor's to have myself checked... conversation went:

doc: ano'ng problema?
caths: (freaking nervous) kasi po inuubo ako for a couple of weeks na and masakit yung dito ko (points to my right rib)...
doc: ok. x-ray na lang muna (hands me the x-ray slip).

that's it?!? lalo akong kinabahan. parang sinabi nyang i-confirm natin kung tb ang sakit mo hehe.

at sa kakabahan ko at kawalan sa sarili, tama bang i-offer ko ang dibdib ko sa manong x-ray-man? naman. yung suot ko kasing shirt may glitters sa medyo chest part. he asked, "yung glitters ba na yan may metal?". and i answered, "hindi ko po alam e...". he said, "hahawakan ko ha."... and i was like... "sige po" sabay forward ng chest ko... naman. tanga-tanga ko. natawa si manong... medyo i-forward ko na lang daw yung shirt ko para nde nya mahawakan yung di dapat mahawakan. ay sus... caths! pag disoriented e tanga-tanga! asus. kahiya. edi sana pinakapa ko na rin kung may wire ang bra ko diba?!? naman!!!

the results will be available the next day pa... pero ayoko na mag leave so i decided to go back on saturday (kahapon yun).

what are the other things i thought about while i was on this dilemma? laugh on...

i'll probably take a six-month leave and go to mindoro (lola's house) so i could recover. i heard people heal faster when they live near the sea. of course i'll isolate myself and my stuff so i won't spread stuff i'm not supposed to spread.

i'll probably call it quits with papa mike. don't want to jeopardize other people's health... when i get well, and we still feel the same way for each other, edi go ulit =)

on my way home from the hospital, i saw this lola carrying an x-ray film and she has this mask covering her nose... ano ba tawag dun... dunno. sabi ko... oh no. pag lalabas ako, ganyan na rin ako. naka-mask.

... at kung anu-ano pang kapraningan. asus. ok. saturday na, mom went with me to get the results. derecho agad sa radiology chuva and took the results. with hands trembling and sweating, i opened the results. and it read...

... the lungs are clear. the heart is unenlarged... the chuva are intact.

or something to that extent. wushu. sayang ang effort ko sa pagiging praning. and we went to the doctor ulit for further analysis. he said that my lungs are healthy. my heart's a little tilted but that's no problem daw. and he explained every inch of the x-ray. he showed the blood vessels chuva and my right rib isn't fractured or anything. just a little strained because of the cough. he said that my lower spine's a little curved but no problem pa rin daw un. kse naman e lagi akong naka-slouch.

he prescribed mucosolvan and muscle reliever. watda?!?! ang praning ko talga... sorry!