the irony of it all

last sunday, during mass, i was in charge of the 1st, 2nd readings, and prayers of the faithful. 1st and 2nd readings went well. i was reading the prayers of the faithful and it went something like...

"isama po natin sa ating panalangin ang mga sumusunod na intensyon:
blah...
blah...
para sa ating flower sponsors:
blah...
JOSE reyes
blah..."

before the communion, an elderly woman tapped me on the shoulder. with a stern face and all the burdens of the world, she sourly scowled at me and said, "ROSE yun, hindi JOSE!"

i stared at her blankly and after a couple of seconds, i realized that she was referring to a certain name on prayers of the faithful. so i looked at the paper i just read over the mic and realized that, yup, it was my mistake. i said "jose" instead of "rose". i dunno why that happened. maybe i was still sleepy, maybe my eyes (and brain combo) were blurry, or maybe i was plainly stupid. whatever. it was a mistake.

i was slowly processing how i would react to the rather ugly remark (and the following will show you how i just sinned in my thoughts).

i was tempted to flash her a bright smile and tell her, "if you're so sincere with your flower offering, why do you want the whole world to hear your name? it's just a name. it's the intention that counts."

i was tempted to be really bitchy and give her a fiery look and say, "i'm not sorry i read your name wrong. you should be thankful i did not put your name in the 'repose of the souls section'"

i could just forget what just happened and go on with my life and eliminate her completely in my system.

arrrgh... i'm not a good girl but it doesn't mean i'm bad (does it?)... so naturally, i eliminated those wicked thoughts. i don't have the guts to execute them anyway. put down your defenses and apologize, girl. it was, after all, my fault. so sorry it is. after the mass, i looked for granny and tapped her on the shoulder. i almost backed out 'cause i saw that her face still had the sour frown, as if ready to bark. this was after the mass, remember!

but i had to do it... "pasensya na po kayo ha, mali ang nabasa ko".

heaven and earth crashed. she angrily nodded and roared, "e palpak naman ang misa ngayon eh! yung ama namin, dapat kantahin, hindi kinanta! yung pangalan ko, naging jose! blah blah blah..." she went on roaring to the parish secretary why her name was read as jose.

and i left. nothing i could do with a clashing gong. i've done my part.

i'm not pious. i'm not the ms-goody-two-shoes type. i'm a sinner (proofs are enumerated above). i have sinned through my own fault in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do. hehe nagdasal... well, the bottom line is, it's just so ironic how we behave that way inside church. what more when we're outside? i'm not exempting myself here. haha! i'm guilty as hell... :(