si kuya

kuya's leaving... soon. he finally got what he's been hoping and praying for. either that, or God granted my birthday wish - that He give what kuya is asking for, if that will be the best for him. or maybe, God listened to us both. we're equally loved then. :) as if there are favorites, duh! hehe.

kuya has been eyeing this good opportunity. he says it's about time he prepare for his future and he really wants to marry his gf soon. i'm so proud of him for having been transformed into someone i could look up to. he's changed over the years to become a man i could proudly refer to as, "kuya ko yan!".

as younger kids, we used to fight a lot. he was the antagonist, i was the underdog. he was the teaser, i was the cry-baby. i dunno if it had something to do with him being older, and with him being male, but we definitely were cats and dogs back then. and they were always on my side. who wouldn't be touched and comfort a crying tiny girl? and who wouldn't look down and point their fingers on a bad bully? hehehe...

despite all those fights, i could never forget that time when we were playing taguan with our neighbor playmates. i might have been the youngest among the pack, thus the slowest and the weakest weakling - that meant i had to be IT for the longest time! i just can't catch anybody! or make it to base before they do! and i was teary-eyed... just too tired of being IT, i guess. kuya noticed that i was all upset and he volunteered to be IT, and he took my post. awww. my big brother. my savior.

i could tell him everything, i could ask him anything. although there's still this wall of personal space, i know it's something we won't mind breaking or trespassing.

it hasn't really penetrated my system yet, the part that processes the major changes of life, but everyday i know we're getting there. and i can't help but feel a tinge of sadness too. i guess he's the next best thing to the father i never had and we've been pretty close now that we're older. we learned to share the same interests and i swear kuya is the type of person who could convince me to buy a jacket in a desert, or have a halo-halo in a snowstorm. :( i just believe in him, agree with him, and i know that his systems work. and yeah, he's earned my respect over the years.

oh, but he hasn't earned my love... you see, it's one thing that's innate. i'll miss you, big, silly, smelly guy! :( fly high but never fail to look back. keep our love in your pockets and it might just do you more wonders. have more faith in God and have more optimism. i think you have to work a little overtime for those two fields. above all, be a good boy and never ever forget to make your presence felt always. i luvya so much!