home and tears

20th of december, we landed on manila. after weeks of grand anticipation for the home-coming, we were finally home. we were waiting for wawin at the arrival area. there was a fence where the relatives waited for their balikbayan loved ones. i swear, i held back tears seeing all the crowd awaiting for the ones who had to sadly go away from home.

they were standing under the sun at noon, some with banners, most on tiptoes, eyeing the return of something good. they were the ones left back at home and they are the ones who welcome back their beloved ofws. it was a heart-pinching sight.

i have been away for less than a year and i'm drowning with nostalgia. what more for those who have been away for years and years and years? gasping... for precious life-giving air that can only be found in manila... yes, however filthy and polluted it is, it is home and home is home sweet home (4 homes in a sentence) :)

1st of january, wawin sent us off. i kissed him and hugged him lightly. we were never affectionate (more of harutan than affection) so hugs never lasted for more than 5 seconds. there was also a two-minute limit to vehicles sending off the fliers so not much was said but good byes and take cares. but i had to cry. i just had to. i didn't want to look like a big cry baby when he had to go so i held back as much as i can and dabbed my eyes super discreetly - up to the time we had to check-in.

it's hard to leave wawin alone. mom now stays with tito danny in tarlac and visits wawin once a week. i completely understand that the mommy days are somewhat over since she has dedicated all the days of her life to us in the past: nursing us and doing everything possible to have us finish our education... now, we are no longer kids and her mission has been accomplished with grace, even exceeding the what-is-only-needed benchmark. now is her time to shine and be happy and feel good about herself. time to find what she never had with my papa. and i salute her for everything and congratulate her for the new glory that is now in her heart and hands. :)

but still wawin is alone until he finishes board exams. after that we're hoping he could be here with us. we were so closely knit when we were growing up so it must be somehow hard, or maybe just different, for him. not for long i hope. :) he's 20 anyway and we'll be together soon... * crossing fingers and toes.