early morning monologues

lahat ng items garantisadong oa. some lines that i want to say to someone, or lines that others would probably want to tell me:

- hindi mo ako alepores. wag mo akong utusan. please lang. kung gusto mo edi ikaw ang mag-ayos. :(

- move on na. ang daming bagay na kailangang gawin. hindi ito isa sa mga yun. try to save the world kaya? :(

- para kang anchor. heavygat sa kalooban. hindi lang sayo umiikot ang mundo. privilege nating lahat na ikutan ng mundo. :( at hindi nga pala umiikot ang mundo sa tao dahil kasama tayo sa pag-ikot nito :))

- life is like halloween. you get a good scare from time to time. don't worry. they're just manmade skeletons. :)

- you kept me in the dark for 5 years. now shake off all the dust and move it move it! :)

- i thought i like barbie and cars. cars na lang pala. :))

- hanggang ngayon ganun pa rin? hello! 2012 na. patapos na nga ang 2012 e. nagbago na ang status ng lahat ng bagay. :-/

- i used to be a bee. then things happened.

o diba oa? ganun talaga :))

dependence

the telephone is such a marvelous invention :)  my first encounters with it involved calls of only "important matters".  we didn't have a phone in the 80s.  if we wanted to relay important messages to our parents, who were working at their offices, we had to go to the neighbor's house to make calls.  that was the only use of the telephone until we had our own phone line.  papa went a bit crazy and had extension lines installed - in all the 3 bedrooms!

my first telebabad-mate was my cousin, irish.  that was some time around the early 90s.  they were living in bf and our house was in sto. nino.  we talked about the most wonderful things in the world.  what we'll do when we next see each other, are we going to ride the bike, or make snow out of styrofoam, are we going to the roof to sprinkle snow.  these were the best things in life! :)

then came high school.  there was a perfect balance in life.  there was a time for school, a time for doing assignments, and a time for telebabad.  topics included assignments, crushes, laugh trip.  i remember that we even had a codename for i-can't-talk-right-now-someone-could-hear-me!  the codename is "malamok" hahaha!  it's funny because it really was (and is still) malamok in our house.  we even did impersonations of romy diaz over the phone.  crazy days.  my lola would just give me stares of disapproval.

college was also a telebabad era, but it was more of kwentuhan galore instead of school work.  the topics were less crazy, more of pangdalagang stories.  and we were not contented with 2 people talking at a time.  we would have conference calls - so we could all talk together as a group!  as if we didn't have enough time together at school!  i talked with my girl friends, boy friends, and my ex boyfriend.  yihee.  ala-ala ng telebabad.  there was a lot of laughter.  there were buckets of tears.  aba'y kung makakareklamo nga lang siguro ang telepono.

the telephone was the most important means of communication until the mobile phones came.  in the sinaunang days, when you wanted to meet with someone, you call them up, arrange a meeting place and time, and just show up.  life was too simple.  people just magically show up at the meeting place.  now, meetings are arranged - and cancelled - at the very last minute.  "text text na lang," is everybody's favorite phrase.  i think it somehow gave the people an extra option to not show up.

during the early life of mobile phones in the philippines, call time was reduced big time because calls were too expensive.  the telebabad was transformed to a karera.  pabilisang masabi ang kailangan mong masabi!  if you could do it in less than a minute then it's perfect!  these days, libre na ulit ang magtelebabad sa mobile phones, but i got used to the notion that mobile phone calls are luxury calls.  do people still do telebabad?

aside from calls, i now have a complete dependence on my mobile phone.  recipes, calculator, dictionary, sms, radio, research, edit docs, emails, photos, directions.  lahat na!  what used to be available in libraries are now readily available on your fingertips with just a few finger taps.  it's good.  it's bad.  i love that you no longer have an excuse for being ignorant.  you won't get lost, you will always have answers.  that's good.  i hate that i am not forced to think too hard now that i could always verify online.  my brain is not working overtime because it knows that it doesn't have to store too much information now.  the magic phone could do it for you.  that's bad.

i feel lucky.  i am a witness to the magical transition of communication means. 

• no landline
• landline
• mobile phone free SMS
• mobile phone P1 per SMS
• dial-up internet
• WAP on mobile phones
• wifi internet
• smart phones that give you everything that's good and bad

if this is not transition, then i don't know what is.  shucks.  i feel old :))))

for donna and leny

1 batch for leny, 1 batch for donna and caloy

every cupcake batch has a story :)

this is a late present.  i have all the time in the world now!  i can bake, i can blog, i can walk again! 

belated happy birthday to donna & caloy and leny.

scribbles made of purple, orange, red colored cream cheese frosting.

originally, i wanted to make paisley designs.  pero dahil hindi ko alam ang tawag sa paisley kanina, i didn't know what to google.  in my head, i know it's the design we find in scarves, but i don't remember what they're called.  i thought it sounds like prairie, so i googled prairie.  kaso lang aso pala yun.  hahaha.  it's a good thing i didn't remember "paisley" kasi ang hirap palang gawin.  hahaha so sige scribbles na lang ulit.

next time, i'll try pastel colors... and paisleys! :)

for ahngel

for _____ ahngel

every cupcake batch has a story :)

i ran out of chocolate chips.  so colored frosting na lang.  

designs:

• checked
• swirly flowers
• time-space-warp-looking substance.  if design attempts go wrong, ang tanging remedyo na lang ay gulu-guluhin na lang ang design :)))

happy birthday, ahngel.  this batch is memorable.  there was a barter of cupcakes and good news. :)

for maria and ate a

1 batch for ate a, 1 batch for maria
happy birthday, girls!

every cupcake batch has a story :)

i told maria that i have a birthday gift for her, and that i wanted to give it to her.  we met during lunch break and i handed it to her.  she seemed happy :) i told her that because i am poor, all that i could afford to give is my effort.  sniff sniff.  pang famas.  hehehe.

red velvet, cream cheese frosting, pink and white sprinkles, melted chocolates for the scribbles.  i don't know what i was trying to do with the things at the top and bottom of "happy".  ginulo-gulo ko na lang tuloy.  hehehe.

for aldwin

kuya's midnight birthday cupcakes (for last july 13)

every cupcake batch has a story :)

kuya loves chocolates.

this is the 2nd time i baked this recipe.  first time was practice - a week before this occasion hehe.

chocolate cupcake, chocolate filling, chocolate ganache.  oa naman siguro kung white chocolate pa ang pang lettering?  so i made a tiny bit of buttercream.  i am aiming at light purple, but it turned out to be an awkward shade of white.

i also can't explain why i made a flower design for the piece that holds the candle.  witty ba?  pang boy?  hehehe

random thoughts

* it's a lazy sunday afternoon.

* feelings: liberated! excited! anxious! hopeful! scared! happy!

* if you can do it, why can't i? yes, i'll do it too!

* i can hear birds chirping. i feel so at
peace.

* convincing myself that...

* i'm happy with my new vegetable diet. this time, meat becomes the side dish and vegetables take the center stage.

* elmo's done = almost done (keyla lingo)

* i had a good walk last friday. it's a tranquil walk.

* i was born to cram.

* i thought i was immature. then i met you. i'm not immature after all :)

mike's august visit

late, late post :(

mike visited me on my birthday.  this was his first visit after he went home.  all good :)  too bad he didn't make it in time for my birthday dinner.  food was great, courtesy of chef aldwin :)

on my way to the airport, i saw these candles.  they celebrate the hungry ghost festival here.  candles abound :)

the next day, we went to ICA for mike's long term visit pass renewal.  it went by so smoothly.  he got his ID that same day.

so we had the whole day to do whatever we wanted to do!

here is mike enjoying his hokien mee.  our fave!

 

at the bonsai garden while thinking of somewhere we could go to:

we finally decided to go to the asian civilisations museum.  here are some good finds:

a model of a mosque

"women are a ray of divine light," it says

the sarimanok from the philippines!

the quran

i like the background!

 

keep on searching for the light!

it was a fun day!

gratitude

more than a month after my 32nd birthday.  i guess it's never too late to say thank you for being blessed.  they say you should not be sad for what you do not have, instead you should be happy for what you do have. :)

gestures, effort, material gifts from friends and family - for all of these, i am grateful.  i feel loved.  i feel special.  above all, i am thankful for the gift of 32 years of good health and good life.  a song comes to mind - something about life being borrowed from God, about you and me being presents, about not ever wanting to be born, but nevertheless being grateful that we are gifted with life.

dear jan,
thank you for the books.  i haven't started reading them yet.  soon i will!  i had a good laugh when i saw the excel bible.  hahaha!  very fitting for us who excel in excel (thus the need for a guide hehe).  i especially loved the greeting card/artwork!  i'm 100% sure it won't fade or get crumpled.  it's laminated!  ikaw na ang pinakabonggang gumawa ng greeting cards!  i love it!  thank you for the generosity.  i will forever be thankful for the gift of friendship.

dear april,

thank you for my midnight birthday cake, despite having a hectic life juggling motherhood and livelihood (naks).  i loved the frosting.  it tastes so sinful.  i believe that sinful = good in terms of baking.  hehehe.  special mention to keyla for putting the freckles (aka sprinkles).  cheers to more years of baking!

here's the sugod gang on the eve of my birthday.  they came bearing good cake.  keyla did the honors of blowing the candle. 

dear chef aldzwen,

thank you for the sumptuous dinner!  you never fail!  you should start building a restaurant!  menu was taco salad and chicken quesadillas.  ariba!  thanks for the mexican dinner.  i loved it!  i know there's a beef ban in this house, but because it's my birthday, beef galore :) food was great!

mike arrived on the evening of the 17th.  he brought birthday presents and a mountain of imported goods from the philippines.  his suitcase could pass for a sari-sari caravan :p

dear mike,

thank you for celebrating my birthday with me.  thank you for the watch.  i love the color.  one day, we'll buy the "his" version of this "hers" watch :) thank you for the pasalubongs.  century tuna, purefoods corned beef, tj hotdog, chiz whiz, boy bawang, bangus belly, tang, magic sarap, etc.  ang dami! yehey! 

dear ate yogi,
thank you for the pearl earrings.  i love the simplicity of little pearls.  they don't sparkle like gold or diamonds, but they look elegant and simple.

dear mama,
thank you for the blouses.  you are very good in size estimation :)  i have new blouses and dresses! yey!

dear UBS teammates,

thank you very much for this cake :) thank you for the video that you prepared. thank you for sharing 5 years of my work life :)

dear Father,

for all of these, and more, thank you! thank you for always giving me the promise of a better tomorrow.  i am looking forward to more years of love and life. help me to fulfill your plans. 

love,

your daughter

lola's favorite dish

lolas nowadays are so groovy and trendy they're like barkadas with their apos. you get to have a lolo/lola + a kakuchaba in your kalokohan. that's cool, i know, but i am proud to say that i grew up with a traditional lola.

she's the type of lola who got stern when you didn't take your afternoon nap. she knew how to wash clothes. i mean the serious, clean wash. kusot nang todo, bilad sa araw, tatlong banlaw, may almerol pa, at stiff like hell after ng plantsa. she believed that washing machine isn't washing the clothes; it's simply twirling the clothes around.

she told me tales of her childhood, how she survived the war, and how she was deprived of education. God is fair. while she lacked academic skills, she was gifted with embroidery skills, and she used this to make a living. they made pillow cases, bed sheets, dresses pretty by manually sewing designs on them.

she knew how to read and write, do simple math, pray the rosary, and she knew how to run her household. it was enough to keep her going when she started a family with lolo, who worked in restaurants as a cashier.

lola knew her house and her kitchen. pamatay ang mechado! at lahat na ng filipino dishes na hinahanap-hanap ng panlasa mo.

but this is what i really want to share. despite her excellence in the kitchen, lola had a simple heart. her favorite dish was bunga ng malunggay na isasawsaw sa bagoong isda. lolo used to tell her, "bakit ba masayang masaya ka kapag yan ang ulam?" wow lolo! medyo bitter pag happy si lola?! hahaha

pic 1:
i was at the clinic while waiting for the doctor. medyo dyaheng mag-abang na may bunga ng malunggay na katabi hahaha. sabi nga ni lola, "wala kang ka glamor glamor!"

pic 2:
caths sporting a pink pouch and plastic bag with bunga ng malunggay. sabi nga ni lola, "wala kang ka glamor glamor!"

pic 3:
bunga ng malunggay, onions, tomatoes, malunggay leaves, some
bagoong, patis. boil and eat while hot. yan ang glamor!

parking (like malling, but in parks hehehe)

we have a new hobby!!!  we're visiting SG parks during weekends!  well, if our bodies are not too weak.

for a while, amidst a (seemingly) financial crisis, we thought that the only way to live is to stay at home during weekends, cook, do chores, watch tv, surf the internet, read books.  it's not like i don't want to do these!  i would wholeheartedly choose these over gala.  you knoooow... your preferences change as you age, and i wouldn't trade pagbubulok inside the house over anything else.

lately, we realized that not everyone in this house is aging.  while 3 adults are contented doing nothing, there's one little sponge who's so willing to explore the world.  keyla doesn't deserve to be treated like an adult, does she?  hehehe.

we've been to pasir ris park for a number of times.  it's about 20 minutes from home, and it has everything you need.  a jogging/biking lane, picnic sites, beach, playgrounds.  we love sitting by the beach.  one sunday, april and i decided to jog from our home to the park.  kuya and keyla rode a bike.  ayun.  sinaktan ako ng katawan.  hahaha walang practice.

last week, we went to punggol park.  i wasn't too thrilled with the experience.  there's not much you could do, and there are mosquitoes.  i am a mosquito indicator.  there's a big body of water at the heart of the park, playgrounds, and a jogging lane.

yesterday, we decided to go to sentosa.  because of a secret walk 2 weeks ago, we discovered the sentosa boardwalk.  it's about a half km relaxed, scenic walk from vivo city to sentosa.  it was also because of this secret walk that i discovered that scenic walks involve pictorials every 10 minutes or so. hekhekhekhekhek!

entrance to sentosa is just 1SGD.  you really can't go wrong!  you'll get to see the universal studios, resorts world, sentosa attractions on your way to the beach.  keyla didn't enjoy the walk so much because she's on her stroller. we unleashed her at the palawan beach and did she have a grand time!  she ended up "swimming" at the beach hehehe.  kami na ang tourists!

it was a fun day.  i realized that there's much more you can do in sentosa than just touring visiting friends/relatives at turista rates!  there's also life in sentosa for non tourists woohoo!

finally! chocolate cupcakes!

oh wow!  finally!  here's something that's not red velvet :)  kuya said that he will only eat chocolate cupcakes if they have chocolate filling.  wow, demanding!

i have tried one chocolate cupcake recipe before, but it tasted plain and milo-ish.  tipong sapilitan na kainin at lunukin.  aguy!  

i've searched and searched for a recipe that doesn't use butter.  i don't know.  there's something repulsive about butter.  maybe i'm thinking it's not healthy?  pero grabe nga naman ang sarap ng butter! i opt to use recipes that call for oil (canola or vegetable).  but who am i kidding?  is there ever a healthy cupcake recipe?  i think oil isn't healthy too.  neither are sugar and eggs.

i also prefer to use cake flour.  no special reason.  it's just the available flour at home :p

this recipe is supposed to have a cream marshmallow-like filling.  i used chocolate ganache instead.  and instead of heavy cream, i used evap.  hehe ang daming instead.  ako na kaya ang sumulat ng recipe??!?!?  hahaha. 

ok naman :) i think it tasted like swiss rolls.  there's chocolate ganache filling and topping na rin.  sayang naman ang ganache na natira.  ayus!  

julie's

and again, red velvet with cream cheese frosting and melted chocolates on top.  this set is supposed to be a welcome present for julie and jana, but julie had to extend her leave.  not a problem.  inubos na lang namin sa office.  hehe. 

these are soufflé cups.  the design is cute.  pink with white polka dots.  it's a great cupcake holder, but not so much if you don't have spoon.  unlike cupcake paper liners, it's very difficult to peel these off.  maybe because it's not meant to be peeled off. 

father's day cupcakes

red velvet cupcakes for the nth time.  patawad.  it's the only edible cupcake i know.  

we don't like vanilla.  i haven't found a good chocolate cupcake recipe yet.  so it's red velvet all the way.  white frosting is cream cheese.  since kuya loves chocolates, i used melted chocolate chips for the decors.  next time, i'll try the colored chocolate chips :) para mas colorful :)

mamon with keso

this is the 3rd time i tried this mamon recipe.  i read that you can use this as the base for krema de fruta. the recipe is crazy with egg whites.  i learned that the fluff is made of egg whites in general hehe.  so that's why it's so ampaw, it's just egg white bubbles :p and sugar.

if you make mamon, surely you can make leche flan with all the egg yolks you'll have. 

i remember my second attempt was a disaster.  i didn't know how to fold then.  so i just dumped all the flour in the egg white bubbles, mixy mixy nang onti, ayun.  marami pa palang flour lumps.  when we sliced the mamon (cake form sya noon) surprise, surprise!  raw flour lumps, pampagana!  hahaha.

the third trial was edible :) complete with cheese.  just don't expect it to make you full because it's just air, sugar, egg whites, and flour. 

mother's day cupcakes

again, red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting for mother's day. 

this batch is for 4 great mothers i know.  my mom, my MIL, my SIL, my SIL's mom.

i find cream cheese frosting so endearing because i love the sour and sweet combination.  unlike buttercream that's just sweet (or i'm probably doing it the wrong way).  the problem i have with cream cheese is, i can't swirl it.  i don't know if it can be used for swirls, or maybe my consistency is just not right.  

i saw this design somewhere in the internet and i found it really cute.  just like coffee :)  the wonders a small toothpick can do!

wawi's birthday

when wawi visited us last april, we decided to give him a surprise-mini-belated birthday lunch.

i remember my first batch of red velvet cupcakes last year - it was a disaster.  it tasted like puto, had a very awkward shade of red/purple/pink, and is simply just a yucky substance.  such a waste. 

these are wawi's red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.  we are not big fans of gabundok na frosting, so i just put a small amount on top and went wild with the decors. haha.  wild kung wild!  red velvet cupcakes are my first edible cupcakes from scratch.  i don't know if it tastes like red velvet because i haven't tasted any store-bought red velvet cupcakes yet.  they just look so fancy in internet pictures.  i had the biggest urge to try and do it myself.

well, wawi was surprised.  the set was complete - a good lunch, birthday cupcakes with a birthday candle, a birthday song, and lots of love.

bella

no, it's not bella the vampire. it's ate bella (pronounced a la bella flores, belya). she was our trusted kasambahay in the early 80s. she was a petite, fair-skinned woman. her hair was short and wavy. she was probably in her 20s then.

she was hyper! she cleaned the house like a mad girl. mommy and lola would scold her just so she would stop cleaning at the wee hours of the night (and day too). she even waxed and polished the stairs with a bunot! very dangerous! madulas! i remember one time she fell down the stairs - last few steps lang naman! i think she stopped polishing the floor after that makalaglag-pangang incident.

she was very popular because she called folk arts theater "prok eye" hehehe. that was so cute. we would ask her, "ate bella sama ka?" she would answer, "saan, sa prok eye?"

i remembered her this morning because i saw the scrub on the bathroom and i had an urge to scrub the floor. i didn't. i was late for work.

asan ka na kaya, ate bella?

for now

to my dear husband,

the past year hasn't been very good.  ok, it has been tough.  ok, it has been very, very, very tough.

remember this?  i was very excited then.  i even swore that we'll never be tangled in an LDR again, but look at us now.  we are back to zero, back to where we were a year ago.  we don't have to ask why.  this is the point where all we could afford is to look forward to better days, nights, and lifetime.

for now:

no more bus rides together.  this was taken when we went to the office-that-shall-not-be-named.  we were carrying a big bag of papers.  it was a long ride home, but it was a joyride.  you fell asleep because you were tired.  i love long rides with you!

i sleep with the lamp on now.  you know i'm matapang that way.  nobody accompanies me to late night trips to the toilet.  solution: i don't make late night trips to the toilet anymore.

no more room service of lucky me pancit canton when i'm working from home... complete with iced tea.  after i eat, you diligently collect the plates and glass.  tip-top room service.  serbisyong totoo.  kapuso na, kapamilya pa.

nobody shares an egg with me during breakfast.  i used to take the yolk (aka cholesterol), and you take the white part (aka protein).  now, an egg is all mine.  i'm not happy.

these are your 2 spots when you fetch me from the bus stop every night.  first stop is for bus 12, 21.  second is for 358, 17.  it's always a comforting sight to see you waiting each night.  sometimes, you sport a happy aura.  sometimes, when the boredom is that bad, you definitely look like you badly need a hug.  for the past two weeks, i still try to look for you each night.  maybe you might be there waiting for me.  so dramatic!  bongga!

no more wacky shots with keyla.  we both know it, keyla loves you!  

no more meriendate - our favorite prata.  cheese and mushroom for me, onions and egg for you.  happiness is cheap, if not free. :)

no more picture taking anywhere and everywhere.

no more occasionally unhealthy dates.

for now, my dear, for now.  i miss you.  i'll see you soon.  i'll see you when the execution of the most perfect plan takes place.

love,

your wife

liquid soap

i am fond of (read: addicted to) DIYs.  when i see something or taste something good, my first thoughts are always, "how do they do this?  how can i do this?"

ang next ko naming pinuntirya ay ang paggawa ng liquid soap.  hahaha!

a bottle of liquid body soap costs ~ 6 - 8 SGD.
a small bottle of hand wash costs ~ 2 SGD.
5 bar soaps cost ~ 4 SGD.
1 bar soap will yield 1.5 L of liquid soap that could be your body soap or hand wash.
so 5 bars of soap will yield 7.5 L of liquid soap!

please do the math of the savings.  i'm not good at it.

i really want to like regular body wash (ex: dove, johnson's, goat milk).  they smell really good.  the thing is, i have eczema that attacks me maybe once a year, so i have to stick to non harsh soaps like cetaphil (kaching kaching).  so i tried to do the liquid soap experiment with johnson's baby soap.

here's how i did it.  warning: poor documentation ahead.

1. grate 1 bar soap, then you'll have soap chips like this!

2. microwave a cup of water on high for 2 minutes.  

2.1 transfer the water in a good pitcher (one that can hold super hot water).

2.2 add 1/3 of the soap chips and stir like crazy until the chips melt (chopsticks work well as stirrers).

2.3 while you are stirring like a madman, microwave another cup of water.

2.4 repeat 2.2 and 2.3 until you have a total of 3 cups of water and all the soap chips are consumed.

leave the mixture to cool down for about an hour or more.  

once cold, the mixture will solidify - like a big block of soap.

add 2 cups (or 1.5 cups, depending on the mildness of the soap) of tap water and stir like crazy again.

transfer to dispensers.

that's it!  it's not really like the "real" liquid soaps.  this one's a bit like sipon in texture hahaha!  but hey, what's a bit of a slime if you could save a dime?  haha. labo.  i like how it's really mild too!  

even kuya does this with dettol or lifeguard, and he uses it as his body wash and hand wash.

no pic of the final "product".  sorry!  hehehe.