ubo

i've been coughing for the past few weeks.

i've always been like this when i have cough. it lasts for a long, long time! once when i was still in manila, i had a cough for more than a month. being ms. paranoid, i consulted a doctor and told him outright i wanted a chest x-ray because i fear i might have tb. he laughed at me while evaluating the results. my lungs are healthy daw. hehe. better to be sure than sorry.

now, the cough season is here. what's more, there's still the h1n1 scare. i've been coughing for the longest time but i haven't had the chance to consult a doctor yet because work is putting its toll on me... big time!

as each day passes by, i realize there's a nasty pattern going on here. on weekdays, i bark nonstop. and what's with weekdays? WORK! not just work, but stress that hammers on me like crazy. since the cut of employees, work load doubled overnight and i'm not used to this kind of pressure. waah! whatever happened to good, old petiks days? i'm not used to attending meetings and talking with lots of people and doing testing all at once. i was just a simple girl who went to work to test. and i miss this badly.

anyway, as i said, i bark nonstop and my cough sounds like i need a bed rest. hehehe as in ubong kailangan nang ihiga! but what can i do? so i just cough it all out and work just the same. come friday, the cough relaxes a bit and by saturday morning, i tell you the cough is gone! like magic! so i go by my weekend cough-free and carefree. i feel well and relaxed despite humongous house chores.

the mystery starts again on sunday evening when the cough finds its way through my system again :( therefore i equate this cough with work :( and stress :( and pressure :( psychological cough? meron ba nun? eew.

showbiz

i am watching asap at the moment. trip lang. here are my thoughts...

i think juday is very beautiful. i'm glad she had this wonderful transformation from being the pambansang siopao to being ms. fitrum. i really think she's very pretty. :)

i don't like bea. i don't like her singing voice. i get annoyed when i see her on tv. as in ANNOYED. affected si ate?!? haha

i like anne! she's very arte but carry nya ito! i like her face. i like that she's super true, walang panggap, very cute and very sowsyal. i like her!

i like zsazsa too. i think she's elegant and i like her voice. i'm not too fond of karylle though. hihi. sorry!

i'm beginning to appreciate billy joe crawford as a performer. haha! in fairness, he's magaling naman kumanta and sumayaw, he's magaling ;) and bagay sila ni niki.

i think echo is tooooo pa-sweet. ulk.

piolo. NR. hehe.

i like john lloyd! he's funny and witty, i think. i like his porma. kakaiba.

of course, sarah! she's very charming and cute and galing and very nice.

oh, and i love the sessionistas!!! i love aiza and nina and mymp!

haha... ang arte ko. kaasar.

regrets

being a bitch last night

being a bad girl at times

cultivating tiny negative thoughts into monstrous schemes

acting as if don't care

spilling

pretending i didn't see it

not understanding

thank God for understanding, forgiving people.

$37

my, my. i'm so happy!

last week, i bought some goodies: 3 laundry nets @ $3, my favorite loreal tecni art liss control @ $19. i put them all in a plastic carrier along with my old umbrella ($15 then). all along, i knew i took the carrier home with me. but somehow, the carrier disappeared :( you just don't throw $37 away! life is hard, every cent should count and be saved.

i just didn't know how it disappeared.

yesterday, i was cleaning the house when i spotted the carrier inside this drawer by the dining table!!! and i was soooo happy when i found it! i don't have to buy new laundry nets, hair conditioner, and umbrella after all! yahoo!

purple toes (and purple veins)

mama

i am a member of the friday club. we are (not so) young employees meeting on fridays, sharing good food, good stories, good laughter... sharing the good life! we take turns cooking dinner in our homes.

last friday, it was held at jan's house. we had pasta. mike brought videoke - or what might have been videoke. hahaha. it was a bit bizarre because what started as a good dinner ended up being a care group sharing the deepest, darkest moments of your life. i learned so much from them that night. it was like watching 4 different episodes of MMK in one session. but how i loved it!

when i was younger, sharing family problems with classmates and friends was a struggle. it was almost taboo. but as i grew older, both body and soul, i found i easier to open up about the drama of my life. not that my life is or was sad. in fact, my troubles are very trivial if compared to others. i thank God for this blessing.

mama. she was the object of my sharing last friday. i told the group that my mama is my strength. mama knows the right thing to do and say - all the time. i'm not exaggerating. she has been the pillar and light of our family. when the boat is sinking, she knows how to save our lives. and everyday, i dream that i will be like her when my turn to be a mama comes.

i feel so blessed because i still have mama with me. i can't imagine how painful and dark and empty life will be without ma's laughter, words, silliness, wisdom. we have never been affectionate when we were growing up. we didn't hug, we didn't say i love you. we only kissed when we said good bye and good night, but that's it. so now, i am trying. i say i love you when we chat and it's a wonderful feeling. i don't want to wait for the day when she can't hear me say that anymore.

mama's coming on august. i can't wait :)