i'm so...

tired... i think i'll be sick. =(

baby?

 m       m   i i i    s s s s   s s s s
 m m   m m     i      s         s
 m  m m  m     i      s s s s   s s s s
 m   m   m     i            s         s
 m       m     i            s         s
 m       m   i i i    s s s s   s s s s



             n    n      a
             nn   n     a a   
             n n  n    a   a
             n  n n   a a a a
             n   nn   a     a
             n    n   a     a



 k  k   i i i   t t t      a
 k k      i       t       a a
 kk       i       t      a   a
 k k      i       t     a a a a
 k  k     i       t     a     a
 k   k  i i i     t     a     a  o o o  




pede na bang art? hihi... pede!

25 realizations at 25

1. i easily get tired now when i exert physical effort. yes, the body does grow old even if the spirit opts to remain young.



2. your mom will stand by you no matter how gaga you've been. she's the ultimate source (in human form, that is) of protection and care.



3. a child, on the other hand, may forget item #2... and may tend to take THE mother for granted, even bring her to tears.



4. distance may be a barrier for LOVE (not applicable to all) but it will never be even a slight challenge for true FRIENDSHIP... never ever.



5. sometimes, love really isn't enough. the will must be way too strong to outstand anything and everything.



6. i'm stronger now. my threshold for pain (and the tears that come along with it) has definitely improved through the years.



7. laughter really does give the body a general feeling of wellness and lightness.



8. no amount of skin-darkening-agents could prevent me from swimming and playing under the sun... at 25!



9. i now know when to stop drinking anything that has alcohol in it. stop when you're too tipsy or suffer the consequences of throwing up and simulating hell for the sober ones.



10. i should have listened to my lola when she enforced me to take my afternoon naps. at 25, you need all the sleep you could get.



11. i still haven't mastered the art of saying how i really feel.



12. if a person is stubborn, no amount of niceties will melt his defenses down.



13. donna once asked me: do you work to live or do you live to work? i wasn't able to answer. and i still don't know the answer...



14. when i'm at the peak of that mountain, i swear, i could touch the sky... i could see the entire world... i could touch the faces of the angels =)



15. i forgot how it felt like to have a father in the house. i bet it would be weird to have one in the future.



16. sometimes i forget to thank Him and praise Him. it doesn't feel good.



17. i don't mind being 25 and still being that. whatever that means. red my leps hehe.



18. people do change. sometimes we become better, sometimes we become worse... we all change...



19. nothing beats the feeling of loving (being loved back is only secondary).



20. there's no such thing as bad luck. we are capable of making our lives better. we should be responsible enough to face the consequences of our actions.



21. spending time with the ones you love is the best form of removing stress in your body.



22. don't lie. it'll do you no good.



23. people step on you? no problem. just don't step on them.



24. from july: "no matter how much you hate your job, never ever compromise your reputation"



25. at 25, i couldn't ask for more... (a little more quality time with my loved ones won't hurt, though)

salamat kay kim at kung anu-ano pang tumatakbo sa isip ko ngayon

* it's a saturday. mom, kuya, and i attended the christening of my adorable nephew, abe. i find this day rather special. it's the first time in months that we went out as "one family"... well, minus win 'cause he had to go to school. it's good enough.

* from the drama comes life... yihee! after months of deadmahan, as-if-i'm-not-here, mom ad kuya are in speaking terms again. thank God. why? well, because of kim's wedding last friday. they had to go and they had to go TOGETHER. hay. natapos din ang drama. i know some things couldn't be patched but time heals all wounds (yeah, i should now). i know eventually, everything will come back to normal. =)

* listening to rv's wedding souvenir cd right now. good choice of songs huh, rv. hmmm... mali ata ang caption sa cd. it says "love moves in mysterious ways - nina". i believe this is mymp's version hihi...

* may nasalubong akong friend last thursday. sabi sakin, "lumiliit ka ah. kumakain ka ba?" hihi... awww... pumapayat na naman ako... arrrgh. lech na trabaho ito. hay. ma, pede bang maging pabigat na lang ako? hihi palamunin ba. would you mind?

* napatingin ako sa bilbil (ako ang payat na may bilbil na malaki) ko. asked mom, "ma, pano kung nabuntis ako... kukupkupin mo ba ko?". she answered, "hindi. papalayasin kita". "eeeh... nde ka ba maaawa sakin? san ako titira?". she answered "edi sa nakabuntis sayo!"... i smiled and said, "wushu, nasasabi mo lang yan! maaawa ka rin sakin at nde mo ko matitiis..." hehe...

* saw something interesting on tv. there's this dispenser in singapore that condenses air into clean drinking water. turns the air into water at the rate of 1 liter per hour. cool, eh?!? it costs $1100. very beneficial for third world countries that don't have sources of safe drinking water.

* nice song... every little thing he does is magic. baby, every little thing you do is magic. everything you do just turns me on... hihi =) missing you so much. weeee! kita tayo tom!

* salamat sa biogesic. nawala ang super headache ko. probably because it's super hot kanina sa labas. grabe ang sakit talga.

* this pinoy big brother thing is somewhat... hmmm... interesting pero mukang ewan. i don't really buy it... pero pinapanood ko minsan pag napababad ako sa tv hihi.

* hmmm... yun lang po baboosh

farewell, harbs

bye caths, downna, maricoru! il miss you gurls! =)

... was harbie's last text message. waaaah! i love this girl! she's the girl with a big smile, a big heart, a big bag of patience, a big bag of gold hehe (but it never made her head big)...

when we heard she's leaving by august... we didn't think it'll be that soon. i always thought she's this girl who's just there... call for a gimik and she'll be there. but time does move so fast... and she had to go... and she's gone.

it was the first time i saw harbs cry - during her despedida the other night. i guess she'll miss us too. she'll leave everything behind... family, friends, work... to be with papa alfred. hay... if only they could stay here... or we could go with them? hihi.

maricor and i were playing MMK since yesterday. we cried while having our lunch because it started to sink in that harbie will be gone. =(

batch seven with celina...



we were a great team =(... we'll always be. =(

post birthday bliss (and some rants)

august 18... the day after my birthday. it's tina's birthday, i remember... hihi wala lang.

so how did my day go by yesterday? =) rather peaceful and happy. i received a couple of birthday text greetings. it's been my habit to keep these greetings in a separate folder in my phone. it's a natural life lifter when i feel sad sometimes - (1) reading warm wishes and (2) thinking that people remember you on your birthday give me a sense natural high =). too bad i can't copy the old messages from my old phone hihi...

also a couple of friendster and email messages and calls made my day. =) even friends i haven't heard from for a long time sent messages. very heart-warming.

hmmmm... except si yongyong... kala ko pa naman best chum kita. you didn't remember my bday! mygulay! magkachat na tayo, nitext mo pa ko last night. you didn't have a hint! and now you tell me you thought my birthday's aug. 30... hmmm.... tampo ako! ever! haha... di rin kita babatiin sa birthday mo para pantay.. hehe walang lamang. kulit.

and... august also marks the 1st year anniversary of my blog. hihi. nothing fancy. i don't even have time to update my layout hihi... which is rather sad. =( haha!

after lunch, i had some free time to revisit the year that was... read my posts for the past year. it was very funny... how i started a year ago - i've had a lot of grumbles, rants, happy moments, sad moments, gimiks, palaisipan posts... my blog has it all captured in this capsule hihi... i hope one day i could show this to my kids. ya... hmmm... my blog doesn't have ALL my kalokohan so i guess it will be ok to show this to my future kids hihi... 'di naman nila maiisip na maloko ang nanay nila nung kabataan nya... well, nde naman talga. wushu. utuin ang sarili.

and the reason why i found time to read my past posts pala... kse 1 yr na yung blog ko. hihi nakakatuwa. i guess this is my longest running journal. all my "manual" journals had lifespans of about only hmmm... 6 months... and then they bit the dust na. i do read them from time to time and they give me the same sense of wonder... how my life has been through the years.

pagkagat ng dilim, (hihi ok ito ah ang pangit parang censored) papa mike dropped by to spend the remaining hours (ano itu matitigok na ko?) of my birthday with me... hihi. thanks for the gift. wrapper courtesy of creative mom (yez... mom na ang tawagan ditu). haha. i like it... i'll wear it for the rest of my days haha... (tigukan na talga ang usapan). thanks for dropping by despite the heavy rain... and baha (wala naman but he said, he'll still go kahit na bahain pa sya... wushu) hehe...

hmmm... my day was sooo complete... super. kuya asked me how my day was and i said "ayz lang... although namiss ko yung FAMILY dinner natin" that's the only thing that's missing =(. complete na sana.

on second thought, it's pretty petty. and i know i'm way much blessed than a lot of people who are in more desperate situations... and i don't have the right to complain. so i guess i'll change the title to a more positive level...

post birthday bliss (thanks, papa God) =)

a whirlpool of thoughts...

it's my birthday... just spending time with myself here at home. taking a break. thanks to 780 and cert down time... i have some free time today.

i've had some time to contemplate on certain things... some are funny, some are touching, some are wishful thoughts... ponder on...

on losers... i wonder why genevieve had to die that way... lana stabbing her with one of the stones. i mean, all her life, genevieve spent her time and effort and money and all to get the darned stones. she didn't possess the objects of her desire... worse, she was killed by those. hihi.. what a loser.

on insect zappers... the perfect gift... last night, mom sent me a message and told me that my birthday gift is inside my dresser. i was so excited to get home... i opened the box... and there it was... an insect zapper - the one with the purple light that brutally zaps insects when they get near it. haha mom knows best. she knows that i am a natural mosquito magnet and i almost always rant about my mosquito bites... hihi! tenchutenchu... hey, i could use it as a pendant to ward off pesteng lamok... hehe!

on peach undies... weird hehe... kuya and aira gave me this peach panty... cute but weird! why would my kuya think of giving me that? funny but very much appreciated. it's really cute... actually, it could pass for a swim wear... only, it doesn't come with a top... hmmm... topless? eeeewww... haha!

on michie and thecx (and mumay)... received a dozen pink roses and cake from michie and thecx. i was so touched it made me cry... iyakin. mumay even brought it here at home from the office. she said, she thought that i might be on birthday leave and i might want to receive it on my birthday. very kind girl... =) i love my girls... they made me cry... huhu...

on wawin... when i woke up this morning, i saw win all tired sleeping on the couch. sightly sick with fever and cough and colds, he looked so thin and so kawawa. if i'm being eaten alive by my work, he's being consumed by his studies. he told me he feels tired and he feels that he's been studying all his life... and that he doesn't get to sleep at night because 24 hrs is not enough. aawww... poor creature.

on wanting someone... sometimes it's sad how much you express your gusto towards someone... but it just can't be. so touching how, after all these days, they still tell you how much you are welcome and loved and needed in their circle. sad how i utter in my head, if you could only have two families, i'd want the second one to be you... =) never have i seen a longing so unconditional and bold and trusting and all. and i miss you all too. =)

on ate cat... i'm fond of that name. well, a couple of "younger" people call me that... some younger peers from lcg, romarc (the adorable kid i used to play with... and now when i see him, he smiles and says, "ate cat!"), cecille (i probably look like her age but heck... i'm older and so she calls me ate cat), some guy at work (darn it... this is the only instance i don't appreciate being called ate... don't ever do that again baka nde kita matantya at lalong maningkit ang mata ko hehe)

on God's answers to our prayers... kuya had some issues and he was quite down for the past few days. the other day, he was upbeat again. i asked him if he's feeling better. he told me that he just thought of what i said and he felt better... "what did i say?", i asked. and he said that some time ago, i told him that when we ask for something from God, God says yes or no. when we are not given what we ask for, we feel hurt and grmble that our prayers are not answered. well, come to think of it, "NO" is actually an answer. so, He does hear us and and He does answer our prayers... (c/o the sisters of st. paul of chartres hihi)

on z... the last time i checked, z hasn't said "hello world" yet. hey come out na! and share this day with me! woohoo! riche, put some more effort of making ire! haha as if madali.

on abuse... meron pa rin talgang martyrs eh. i despise any form of abuse. verbal, physical, emotional... girl, you have a long way ahead of you. you are not a saint so don't act like one. get out while you can and build up whatever has been broken. you're young, pretty, intelligent... and you deserve someone better. don't fix something that can't be fixed. =) you are loved.

on game ka na ba... i love that show. hehe... wala lang. very educational. yun lang. i really love watching it.

on shake... again, i express my full support to my lcg peer, shake. he's a part of the final 12 for star in a million and i'm proud of him. =) text nyo ah! galing na bata ito!

on the end... hehe... well, that's it for my tell-the-world-of-your-thoughts thing... =)

updates daw - warning... this is a long one hihi

huwaw... yup. almost a month has passed since my last update. i don't know if i'm really busy or nag bu-busy-busyhan lang hehe... hmmm... maraming nangyari... gaya ng:

bridal shower kodi ko nga lang na-invite college friends ko. hehe joke. gotcha! bridal shower ni harbs. awww... ang saya-saya that saturday. we went to this quatro posas errrr pasos resort/inn in cavite and had an overnight bonding aka swimming aka bridal shower. we played strip-1-2-3-pass. hihi felt weird being naked in front of many people... ay may kumot naman hihi!

hmmm...maraming masasayang bagay hihi...=)

pagiging abay sa kasal ni harbshehe joke... feeling abay lang. i wore the gown from riche's wedding and my girlfriends bought similar shades of blue glown bwahaha... you bet lahat ng tao dun pinagkamalan kaming abay. we had a mega zillion pics and nagmistulang pictorial event ang napaka bonggang wedding ni harbs... wedding of the century itu... hehe... harbs, you'll be missed... a lot huwaaaaaah!

to be near youyun ultimate na itu... kumanta raw ako sa wedding ni harbs... i swear, the night before gusto ko na mag back-out! huwaaaah! pang banyo lang naman ang boses ko hihi! pero mahihindian ko ba si harbs? hihi... i love this girl. so to be near you it is. pasensya na... hehe kung medyo shaky, nervous, out of tune, "unmemorized" bwahaha! ang song number ko. it was my best and i offer that for you, harbs and alfredo =) (watda... offering itu!) may you go a super loooong way... infinite ang measure. =) unfathomable... mwah!

a thing i shouldn't have donei know i've hurt someone (ay hurt ba? hihi. nde naman diba... disappointed lang diba?) and i'm deeply sorry, baby. i assure you it'll never happen again.

missing my family so muchhehe ano itu... out-of-the-country... hehe i feel i haven't seen them for the longest time... kse naman ang uwi ko ay hindi uwi ng isang matinong babae... tipong mga adik-adik na lang ang gising sa kalye. kebs. mega walk ako sa sto. niño sa madaling araw pauwi. subukan lang nila. meron akong hmmm... susi at payong. haha! so whenever i have the chance to talk and kulit with them, i do so... yesterday, feeling ko sobrang na-miss ako ni wawin... mega kwento kami about... hehe aliens. ano ba?!? grabe i miss them =( i'm missing a lot lalo na with my kuya. i know he'd love it if we could sit down and talk about everything and anything. he's kinda sad for the past few months =(

missing my college friendsmga girls... hehe i know nawala ako sa sirkulasyon for the past month. and i heard of the out-of-the-country-reunion on 2006. i'm game! woohoo! this is something to look forward to. =) we've reached the first quarter of our lives (assuming we'll live a hundred yrs like sea turtles from finding nemo do) and it's time we do something major and fun. yup, camille, you're right. 2006 marks the 5th anniversary of our graduation hihi... lech ang tanda na natin ah... hehe kebs. old(er) but more graceful... wiser(?)... more equipped to face whatever the world has to throw us... hmmm prettier? hihihi... say yes, girls!

thank youto certain people who helped me out in times of "need"