photograph and buko juice

what a weird combination :)

i was having a shower after i cleaned our room. i don't know why all of a sudden i started to sing ariel rivera's "photograph". full of emotion ang pag-awit kong para bang may pinagdaraanan ako! hehehe wow. i can't even relate with the song but i don't know why it seeped into the [shallow] crevices of my mind.

i still have a photograph of you
i've keep it all these years
i guess it would make you laugh to know
it still brings back the tears

from another place and time
when your love was mine

wow, and then my thoughts ran to "where is ariel rivera, btw?" and is he happy now with geli? and what about that regine incident before? hmmm. susko... bakit ko naman sila naisip?

***

there's this buko juice in can that i am learning to like. it's called "ice cool young coconut - juice with pulp" it doesn't taste artificial at all. pero syempre, iba pa rin ang buko juice galing sa lupang nakasangla sa lola ko. hehehe. sa mindoro, libre ang buko juice. :) yum

earth hour in spirit

i was so excited to take part in the earth hour. i was planning to have chocolate ice cream in the sala with the housemates during the one-hour-lights-off session. i was imagining we'll tell crazy stories and laugh out loud. this is something good that we could do for mother earth, i thought.

it didn't push through. come 6pm, we went to hear the anticipated mass and then have dinner at nihon mura after the mass. we didn't make it home at 8:30. too bad. to take part somehow, i shut down my laptop and switched off all lights and electricity plugs in the room. i know the housemates will put out all lights at 8:30 since they're here.

we were having dinner when the earth hour struck. the mall didn't participate. too bad. it could have been a unique moment to have all lights off everywhere. i heard the sydney opera house in australia shut all lights during their earth hour earlier today.

oh well. does that count? earth hour in spirit? hehe. that's my vote.

your firsts

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
- hmm, i didn't have dates on my junior and senior proms.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
- no

3. What was your first alchololic drink?
- tequila

4. What was your FIRST job?
- OJT at amkor laguna as software engineer. first real job was at spi tech as software engineer.

5. What was your FIRST car?
- none

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
- mike

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
- mike... napanaginipan ko e

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
- mrs. dela cruz! she was one scary teacher. if you want to go to the rest room, you ask her, "miss, may i go out?" she just says no! and you go back to your seat with your bladder exploding! my my!

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
- aklan to boracay!

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
- carmela dizon on grade 3? we were the 2 smallest girls in class. we don't talk anymore

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
- i think during college project days on riche's house.

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
- kuya

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
- wedding ng kapitbahay namin

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
- hmmm, nagcheck ng mail

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
- eraserheads concert.. 3rd year HS at the school gym

16. What was the FIRST record/tape/CD you bought?!
- cruisin'

17. FIRST hospitalization?
- dengue fever during 3rd year HS

18. FIRST foreign country you've been to?
- HK

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
- never ending story

20. When was your FIRST detention?
- hmm, wala? good girl ako e. hehehe

21. What did you do with your FIRST paycheck?
- odd. i can't remember

22. Your FIRST social networking site?
- friendster

23. Who FIRST invited you to Facebook?
- joerg, our boss. he sent the invitation to the whole team.

in love

i was ill today. my abdominal pain started yesterday afternoon, it went away, then the pain hit again this morning. i called in sick and went to the doctor for a check. i wasn't expecting that the doctor will pin down what's wrong with me. i was only after the MC. ang hatol ni doc: kabag. wow.

i didn't take the medicines he gave me. i don't think i need meds for gas. wow marunong pa ko kay doktor! i just took glasses of warm water. pain is still there but it isn't as bad as this morning.

so what kept me busy today?

it was a bit boring compared to the mesmerizing zara series. it's comparable to the nights in rodanthe, i think.

i wonder if there really is such a thing as love at first sight. hmm, i haven't experienced it yet. the francesca-robert love affair is definitely the most mature relationship i could ever imagine. they knew they love each other the first day they met, they made love for 4 days, and never contacted each other again to respect francesca's decision to attend to her responsibilities as a a mother and wife. oh, yes... she's married hehe. just 4 days - enough to have a permanent imprint and discern that they found their soulmates. the thing is, they chose to do the right thing. was it the right thing, though? hehe

i had a chat with a friend today. she's so in loooove! she's a happy, jolly person even before she met her guy. imagine her bliss level now that she found her man. it must be love! :) she's definitely so in loooove! i wish i could go home to attend their wedding :)

remind me again why i don't love coffee

• my heart palpitates
• i get jumpy and sweaty and nervous
• i'm like on drugs
  
• i want to throw up
• i feel acidic

but i like coffee :(

i have completed the zara series

este... i have completed the twilight series pala hehe. marlon borrowed the 1st book so i could only show 3. hehe. i don't know what hit kuya when he decided to cover the books using zara paper bags. dyahe tuloy pag nagbabasa sa bus, people tend to stare when they see the cover. they seem to think, what is this crazy girl doing reading a zara book? and what is a zara book?

my favorites are books 3 and 4. i could tell because i didn't want to put them down. especially book 4! i slept at 2am last night but i spared 20 pages for today. it was not because i was sleepy, it was because i feared i won't wake up early for work today. so i read the remaining 20 pages on my way to work this morning. 4 pages to go and i had to alight. bwisit. 4 pages na lang nabitin pa ko. so i had to endure the agony of waiting for 9 hours before i finished the last 4 pages. oa.

nakarelate akong big time kay bella when she said that she has learned to accept the fact that she was just an average girl. feeling ko, parang walang bagay na masasabi kong magaling ako. hahaha! susme naging negative lang ang effect ng book sakin. ano ba yan. naging pessimist na ba talaga ako? no. let me explain.

i was just an average student. i never excelled in terms of grade. i don't have a "real" talent. umiindak pero hindi dancer. kumakanta pero hindi singer. nakakabasa ng nota at nakakatugtog ng simple pieces pero 'di pianist. alam ang A-G chords, isama mo na ang minor chords pero 'di guitarist. mahilig mag draw pero hindi kaakit-akit. favorite mag swim pero breast stroke lang ang kaya kong languyin nang 'di napapagod, may kabagalan pa. hahaha! nagluluto pero who couldn't (i believe anybody who could read could also learn how to cook)?

i don't mean to degrade myself... my point is, i don't have an expertise. i could "somehow" do things, but hindi pang medalya. haha! just the average. when asked, "marunong ka ng ganito?" i answer, "medyo". hehe. hindi ba yung "ay oo magaling ako dyan! ganito yan o..."

my connection with bella snapped when she said she was just an average until she became immortal, it was then that she radiated and beamed! bongga! not that i want to become a supernova someday. that's why the connection snapped. i feel this is just me. i don't want spotlights. i don't want to shine. i just want to be a speck among the crowd, the staff of the lead role, the tire-changer of the racer. i don't want power! hahaha ang taas ng pangarap!

i will miss the stardust effect of this fairy tale book. i love the concept of imprinting. i love nessie's character. and charlie's. and seth's. i love their little house in the forest - where magic is made. hehe. i love bella's mind power. i love the mala-nancy-drew-hardy-boys-mysteries twists. i love how edward reads jacob's thoughts. and how the wolves couldn't hide anything from each other.

i'll have to say meyer is one cool writer :) i love the zara books! woohoo! i don't love the mushy scenes, though... i read those parts in a haste (uuy mashonda na, di na masyadong kinikilig). is it really over? i would love to read a book 5.

* because of the zara wrapper thing, only the title "twilight" registered in my memory. i don't have recollection of the title of the other 3 books. hehehe. that's why i call them the zara books.

anong ginagawa ni wawin?

a. nagtatanggal ng buntot ng toge

b. nagtitiris ng garapata or lisa

c. nananahi

d. none of the above

ang tumpak na sagot ay: d! dahil nag gugupit sya ng kuko! pareho sila ni kuya na ganyan gumamit ng nail cutter. i find it a bit weird. weird brothers. eeew.

miss you, waw!

at the end of the rainbow

• my worries are eating me alive
  
• it's hard to think positively on days like this
• life is indeed a wheel - you can't always stay on the top
• you can't be tucked in the safest confines of your comfort world forever
• i feel so hunted and haunted
• what's next after the cleanup?

i am on my insane mode. times like this, i just can't eat a juicy fruit gum. hehe. times like this, i feed my mind with the nastiest thoughts. it's like feeding cancer cells so they could keep on multiplying. what a comparison. even my comparison is so negative.

and then i saw this on our way to parkway:

i just want to see what's at the end. for sure there is something there. but show me, show me! my pathetic rendition of a smile ----> :)

adorable foot

bus 36 was packed with people rushing home. i was standing. in front of me was a mom with her 2 adorable kids. the older one appears to be 4 yrs old, the baby was around 6 months old.

he (for all i know, he could be a she) was this bald cutie. his skin was soooo white, his eyes were blue. he was staring at me. most of the time, he was playing with his brother's ears and nose and eyes. his his foot was dangling in front of me. i just had to secretly touch it. hihihi... was so smooth and soft!

a minute of thought - on feeling good

i feel great today! so it's not about the rain and it's not about the pms. i had both today... well, minus the headache... but i feel absolutely fine. in fact, great! i feel i am full of energy even if i just had a mug of choco for breakfast! yey!

bubbles

they have this giant inflatable pool in front of parkway mall. and they have giant bubbles... kids could get inside the bubbles and play bump-bubbles with other kids! wow! i love it! i wish i could "ride" a bubble once in my lifetime! hehehe. it looks soooo fun! it's very tempting to ask if they allow adults to play too. but that would be a stupid question... hmm...

wonderful things to do

i'm feeling down. pms and rain - a bad combination. i have a terrible headache. i look out the window and i see the melodramatic rain pouring, purring, sending my emotions in a swirl of negative vibes. argh.

i suddenly think that i'm turning 29 and i haven't made anything of substance or significance in my life yet. what have i done, actually? hmmm... ponder, ponder. i couldn't be proud. all i could say is i've done things that are sort of "required" and "standard" in this society. so far, i've finished a four-year course and i've set my ship on sail on an ocean of a decent job.

i feel i'm running out of years! this is ms. negative acting on full throttle! people are dying younger. maybe i don't have 50 years more to live... maybe not even 30!

so i thought of wonderful things that i would love to do. in my imagination, i can conquer the world!

in chronological order:

• i would love to start my own business. i'm not a rich person. i'm targeting a small-cost business. multi-million franchising seems dim for me. i'm a bit afraid to take risks so i would rather start small and grow from there.
  
• i would love to teach children to read. and what an accomplishment that will be! this has been a long-time dream for me. maybe to start, a small room will do. anybody could come in and learn for free. once a kid learns to read, we will make a pact that someday when he becomes capable, he will teach at least one child to read.
  
• i would love to help in a charity... hmm, not only financial but also exert physical effort. i don't have an idea which institution yet. maybe more research has to be done for that.
• i would love to have my own family! who doesn't want to? i want to have a responsible husband and 3 wonderful kids. we'll live in a small house in a safe environment - where we could jog or bike on the streets on weekends. wow! susme.
• i would love to travel the world with mama, kuya (and family), wawin (and family), my hubby, and three kids. wow, pangmayaman! hahaha! teka, if not the world, then spend a weekend a month with the complete family. anywhere is good, even if it's just bbq at the garden! bongga!

what have i done so far? i spent a few hours searching for good small business ideas. wasn't that successful, though. hehe. but i feel lighter.

i love this list! and someday i will accomplish them all!

light and shade

i love the view from our window. the clouds become an art canvass and each picture is so unique everyday. God is so great! sometimes i sit by the window and pause and stare at the great view outside. i am mababaw. i know.

this is a blue gray painting, the sun just hid behind the row of houses. darkness is starting to envelope this side of the world!

this is a yellow-orange art work. the clouds are on a roll. the sun is still exuding a sense of power despite its setting.

i rarely see these sights now, though. the past 2 weeks were spent stressfully at work. long hours. i want to complain but i will not. i'm just tired. that's all. but being tired just means i still have work. that's all that matters now. it's a saturday and i will get my calming view in a few hours. :)

haven

we went to the library to kill some time. medyo high tech ang library nila :) nakakaaliw. to borrow books, you have to become a member and pay a yearly fee of 50sgd (if you're not a PR) or 10sgd (if you're a PR). they'll give you an atm-like card as your library card. to borrow books, you go to kiosks, you put the book on this borrowing device, and insert your card in the card slot. that's it! no more stern-looking librarians wearing their hair on buns and wearing old fashioned glasses (which i incidentally have). no more stamping of cards.

when you want to return your books, you just drop them on drop-off machines. books are automatically scanned and marked as returned. :) life is simple!

all those glorious rows of books!

and more of them!

some interesting finds:

from a book called "plastic" -- this is a pen holder. a very brutal and morbid piece... but very creative!

from a book called "japanese designs" -- i found it very striking :)

"many appreciate the simple life. but living a life of simplicity is not simple. rather, trying to simplify one's life is a constant challenge to embrace discipline-to edit out unnecessary items and to minimize desires that fuel their acquisition."

from a book called "odd jobs" -- odd nga! the first one is an armpit sniffer and the second one is a make-up artist for the dead.

completed!!!

sa wakas! ayaw ko nang magpuyat! hehehe! good bye, cake mania!

i am an addict

cake mania addict! woohoo! d na ako makaalis sa level na to. linsyak...
hehe sorry ayaw ma-rotate.

and he's gone

i remember when i received wawin's last phone call yesterday. He was on his way to his boarding gate and he was on his way to fly back to the far, far away land that is home. :( and we felt sorrow. Last sunday night, while he was packing his things, the drama began. Ate couldn't take it and broke into sobs. So did wawin. It's the first time I saw him cry since papa's death some 11 years ago.

Kuya seemed strong and didn't break down. He remained busy, helped wawin pack, and ignored our restrained cries.

we pleaded for wawin to stay for a month. he almost agreed but his meds supply will only last for 2 weeks and pharmacies here require a local prescription. So the option was ruled out. he had to go.

The 2 weeks went by quickly. We went to a few spots and, most of the time, just bummed in the house and behaved like little children. I forgot how it feels like to be together with wawin and kuya at the same time. It feels so good. kulang na lang si mama. hihihi.

when kuya brought him to the airport yesterday, he hugged him for the last time and cried like a little child :( awww. he just sent me a message yesterday that he wasn't able to contain the emotion... we'll miss wawin... our little vacuum boy...

sunog-baga

uso rin pala ang sunog-baga dito. pic taken from our window. in
fairness of them all (wow), maganda ang mga kotse nila. hahaha!