purple toes (and purple veins)

mama

i am a member of the friday club. we are (not so) young employees meeting on fridays, sharing good food, good stories, good laughter... sharing the good life! we take turns cooking dinner in our homes.

last friday, it was held at jan's house. we had pasta. mike brought videoke - or what might have been videoke. hahaha. it was a bit bizarre because what started as a good dinner ended up being a care group sharing the deepest, darkest moments of your life. i learned so much from them that night. it was like watching 4 different episodes of MMK in one session. but how i loved it!

when i was younger, sharing family problems with classmates and friends was a struggle. it was almost taboo. but as i grew older, both body and soul, i found i easier to open up about the drama of my life. not that my life is or was sad. in fact, my troubles are very trivial if compared to others. i thank God for this blessing.

mama. she was the object of my sharing last friday. i told the group that my mama is my strength. mama knows the right thing to do and say - all the time. i'm not exaggerating. she has been the pillar and light of our family. when the boat is sinking, she knows how to save our lives. and everyday, i dream that i will be like her when my turn to be a mama comes.

i feel so blessed because i still have mama with me. i can't imagine how painful and dark and empty life will be without ma's laughter, words, silliness, wisdom. we have never been affectionate when we were growing up. we didn't hug, we didn't say i love you. we only kissed when we said good bye and good night, but that's it. so now, i am trying. i say i love you when we chat and it's a wonderful feeling. i don't want to wait for the day when she can't hear me say that anymore.

mama's coming on august. i can't wait :)

it's been a while

it's been a while since my last post. i've been really lazy. work has been crazy and will be crazy for the next couple of weeks.

it's been a while since i last saw mom. i miss her. but hey! wawin's here! he finally decided to look for a job here. it's been a while too, but there's no rush. :) the perfect time will come.

it's been a while since i last played monkey bars (or baras sa pagkakaalam ko simula bata). it's been a while because the last time i tried was kindergarten. i was good at it! and all the while i thought i'm still good at it. last saturday, i tried it again. i was able to go forward by one bar! :( i'm old!

it's been a while since i last held and played the guitar. i'm not good at it. i've never been. hehe. but i learned to play the intro of "the best i've ever had" by vertical horizon. hehe.

it's been a while since i last jogged. had a good jog last saturday at east coast with wawin. nice one :)

it's been a while since i last played on a swing! and i had a grand time last saturday! woohoo!

red toes

yay! red toes! i never thought i'll ever wear my toes red. metallic red even! april invited me to try a pedicure/foot spa. i was supposed to have tan or something less obvious because i don't usually color my toenails. i think this is just my 2nd pedicure and the first was something very discreet. kuya said, "try something that will give your toes attitude!" wow kuya kelan ka pa naging concerned sa attitude na inaalay ko sa mundo? hahaha!

ok fine, try something new na lang :) so red it is! i actually like it. medyo maikli nga lang ang kuko ko. haha pero nakakaaliw syang pagmasdan. parang tumitingin ako sa christmas tree. ano raw?

the foot spa was very good. i enjoyed it! maka-avail ng package hehehe. enjoy! next time, parang ok din ang dark purple. o dava! attitude kung attitude! bwahahaha!

all you need is...

i found another yummy love! this is gardenia banana walnut bread.

at the bottom of the pic, there's this heart-shaped banana. or walnut. whatever. it's yummy :)

happiness is...

devouring on mom's favorite breakfast!

minana ko sa kanya ang pagkahilig sa nilagang itlog sa agahan, sawsaw toyo! yum.

ang dali naman naming paligayahin. hehe! 

awww, i miss mami. kung sinong maunang magising, syang maglalaga ng itlog! hahaha!

ang sabi nya...

"do you have to mightily wave the banner of your so-called perfect life just to make me feel i am living in a miserable slum?"

sometimes

- it doesn't feel so right -

- i feel there will never be a hundred percent -

- it just seems to be a hundred percent, but it isn't and it will never be that -

- there is a thought that the tip of the pyramid is just an illusion and it does not actually exist -

- i run (britney) -

- not sometimes, but always, i yearn to be a good girl (so help me God) -

happiness is...

walking leisurely on my way home...

while reading a good, addictive book :)

this is a 15-minute walk/read i'm talking about :)

and this is undomestic goddess by sophie kinsella i'm talking about.

it's a good read. thanks to april for lending the book.

(however, hmm, i don't like it when i step on something i'm not supposed to step on. hehehe. i stepped on something that looks like gum today. please, let it be gum. hehe.)

the saddest eyes i've ever seen

went to toys r us earlier today. kuya was looking for a toy for his colleague's kid. amidst the happy, bubbly, soulful faces in the stuffed toys section, this bear caught my attention. it has the saddest eyes and expression. poor bear. 

i guess i could pass as a sad, sad bear the other night and the whole day yesterday. give me a faintest hint of drama and i cry right away. i cried sadly when kris allen won. it was supposed to be a happy moment! 

feeling better now. for now, i leave dear bear in his despair. smile for me, dear bear? hard. but it's worth a try.

happiness is...

going home from work and catching the last few minutes of the warmth and gentle glare of the sun :)