i'm so...

tired... i think i'll be sick. =(

baby?

 m       m   i i i    s s s s   s s s s
 m m   m m     i      s         s
 m  m m  m     i      s s s s   s s s s
 m   m   m     i            s         s
 m       m     i            s         s
 m       m   i i i    s s s s   s s s s



             n    n      a
             nn   n     a a   
             n n  n    a   a
             n  n n   a a a a
             n   nn   a     a
             n    n   a     a



 k  k   i i i   t t t      a
 k k      i       t       a a
 kk       i       t      a   a
 k k      i       t     a a a a
 k  k     i       t     a     a
 k   k  i i i     t     a     a  o o o  




pede na bang art? hihi... pede!

25 realizations at 25

1. i easily get tired now when i exert physical effort. yes, the body does grow old even if the spirit opts to remain young.



2. your mom will stand by you no matter how gaga you've been. she's the ultimate source (in human form, that is) of protection and care.



3. a child, on the other hand, may forget item #2... and may tend to take THE mother for granted, even bring her to tears.



4. distance may be a barrier for LOVE (not applicable to all) but it will never be even a slight challenge for true FRIENDSHIP... never ever.



5. sometimes, love really isn't enough. the will must be way too strong to outstand anything and everything.



6. i'm stronger now. my threshold for pain (and the tears that come along with it) has definitely improved through the years.



7. laughter really does give the body a general feeling of wellness and lightness.



8. no amount of skin-darkening-agents could prevent me from swimming and playing under the sun... at 25!



9. i now know when to stop drinking anything that has alcohol in it. stop when you're too tipsy or suffer the consequences of throwing up and simulating hell for the sober ones.



10. i should have listened to my lola when she enforced me to take my afternoon naps. at 25, you need all the sleep you could get.



11. i still haven't mastered the art of saying how i really feel.



12. if a person is stubborn, no amount of niceties will melt his defenses down.



13. donna once asked me: do you work to live or do you live to work? i wasn't able to answer. and i still don't know the answer...



14. when i'm at the peak of that mountain, i swear, i could touch the sky... i could see the entire world... i could touch the faces of the angels =)



15. i forgot how it felt like to have a father in the house. i bet it would be weird to have one in the future.



16. sometimes i forget to thank Him and praise Him. it doesn't feel good.



17. i don't mind being 25 and still being that. whatever that means. red my leps hehe.



18. people do change. sometimes we become better, sometimes we become worse... we all change...



19. nothing beats the feeling of loving (being loved back is only secondary).



20. there's no such thing as bad luck. we are capable of making our lives better. we should be responsible enough to face the consequences of our actions.



21. spending time with the ones you love is the best form of removing stress in your body.



22. don't lie. it'll do you no good.



23. people step on you? no problem. just don't step on them.



24. from july: "no matter how much you hate your job, never ever compromise your reputation"



25. at 25, i couldn't ask for more... (a little more quality time with my loved ones won't hurt, though)

salamat kay kim at kung anu-ano pang tumatakbo sa isip ko ngayon

* it's a saturday. mom, kuya, and i attended the christening of my adorable nephew, abe. i find this day rather special. it's the first time in months that we went out as "one family"... well, minus win 'cause he had to go to school. it's good enough.

* from the drama comes life... yihee! after months of deadmahan, as-if-i'm-not-here, mom ad kuya are in speaking terms again. thank God. why? well, because of kim's wedding last friday. they had to go and they had to go TOGETHER. hay. natapos din ang drama. i know some things couldn't be patched but time heals all wounds (yeah, i should now). i know eventually, everything will come back to normal. =)

* listening to rv's wedding souvenir cd right now. good choice of songs huh, rv. hmmm... mali ata ang caption sa cd. it says "love moves in mysterious ways - nina". i believe this is mymp's version hihi...

* may nasalubong akong friend last thursday. sabi sakin, "lumiliit ka ah. kumakain ka ba?" hihi... awww... pumapayat na naman ako... arrrgh. lech na trabaho ito. hay. ma, pede bang maging pabigat na lang ako? hihi palamunin ba. would you mind?

* napatingin ako sa bilbil (ako ang payat na may bilbil na malaki) ko. asked mom, "ma, pano kung nabuntis ako... kukupkupin mo ba ko?". she answered, "hindi. papalayasin kita". "eeeh... nde ka ba maaawa sakin? san ako titira?". she answered "edi sa nakabuntis sayo!"... i smiled and said, "wushu, nasasabi mo lang yan! maaawa ka rin sakin at nde mo ko matitiis..." hehe...

* saw something interesting on tv. there's this dispenser in singapore that condenses air into clean drinking water. turns the air into water at the rate of 1 liter per hour. cool, eh?!? it costs $1100. very beneficial for third world countries that don't have sources of safe drinking water.

* nice song... every little thing he does is magic. baby, every little thing you do is magic. everything you do just turns me on... hihi =) missing you so much. weeee! kita tayo tom!

* salamat sa biogesic. nawala ang super headache ko. probably because it's super hot kanina sa labas. grabe ang sakit talga.

* this pinoy big brother thing is somewhat... hmmm... interesting pero mukang ewan. i don't really buy it... pero pinapanood ko minsan pag napababad ako sa tv hihi.

* hmmm... yun lang po baboosh

farewell, harbs

bye caths, downna, maricoru! il miss you gurls! =)

... was harbie's last text message. waaaah! i love this girl! she's the girl with a big smile, a big heart, a big bag of patience, a big bag of gold hehe (but it never made her head big)...

when we heard she's leaving by august... we didn't think it'll be that soon. i always thought she's this girl who's just there... call for a gimik and she'll be there. but time does move so fast... and she had to go... and she's gone.

it was the first time i saw harbs cry - during her despedida the other night. i guess she'll miss us too. she'll leave everything behind... family, friends, work... to be with papa alfred. hay... if only they could stay here... or we could go with them? hihi.

maricor and i were playing MMK since yesterday. we cried while having our lunch because it started to sink in that harbie will be gone. =(

batch seven with celina...



we were a great team =(... we'll always be. =(

post birthday bliss (and some rants)

august 18... the day after my birthday. it's tina's birthday, i remember... hihi wala lang.

so how did my day go by yesterday? =) rather peaceful and happy. i received a couple of birthday text greetings. it's been my habit to keep these greetings in a separate folder in my phone. it's a natural life lifter when i feel sad sometimes - (1) reading warm wishes and (2) thinking that people remember you on your birthday give me a sense natural high =). too bad i can't copy the old messages from my old phone hihi...

also a couple of friendster and email messages and calls made my day. =) even friends i haven't heard from for a long time sent messages. very heart-warming.

hmmmm... except si yongyong... kala ko pa naman best chum kita. you didn't remember my bday! mygulay! magkachat na tayo, nitext mo pa ko last night. you didn't have a hint! and now you tell me you thought my birthday's aug. 30... hmmm.... tampo ako! ever! haha... di rin kita babatiin sa birthday mo para pantay.. hehe walang lamang. kulit.

and... august also marks the 1st year anniversary of my blog. hihi. nothing fancy. i don't even have time to update my layout hihi... which is rather sad. =( haha!

after lunch, i had some free time to revisit the year that was... read my posts for the past year. it was very funny... how i started a year ago - i've had a lot of grumbles, rants, happy moments, sad moments, gimiks, palaisipan posts... my blog has it all captured in this capsule hihi... i hope one day i could show this to my kids. ya... hmmm... my blog doesn't have ALL my kalokohan so i guess it will be ok to show this to my future kids hihi... 'di naman nila maiisip na maloko ang nanay nila nung kabataan nya... well, nde naman talga. wushu. utuin ang sarili.

and the reason why i found time to read my past posts pala... kse 1 yr na yung blog ko. hihi nakakatuwa. i guess this is my longest running journal. all my "manual" journals had lifespans of about only hmmm... 6 months... and then they bit the dust na. i do read them from time to time and they give me the same sense of wonder... how my life has been through the years.

pagkagat ng dilim, (hihi ok ito ah ang pangit parang censored) papa mike dropped by to spend the remaining hours (ano itu matitigok na ko?) of my birthday with me... hihi. thanks for the gift. wrapper courtesy of creative mom (yez... mom na ang tawagan ditu). haha. i like it... i'll wear it for the rest of my days haha... (tigukan na talga ang usapan). thanks for dropping by despite the heavy rain... and baha (wala naman but he said, he'll still go kahit na bahain pa sya... wushu) hehe...

hmmm... my day was sooo complete... super. kuya asked me how my day was and i said "ayz lang... although namiss ko yung FAMILY dinner natin" that's the only thing that's missing =(. complete na sana.

on second thought, it's pretty petty. and i know i'm way much blessed than a lot of people who are in more desperate situations... and i don't have the right to complain. so i guess i'll change the title to a more positive level...

post birthday bliss (thanks, papa God) =)

a whirlpool of thoughts...

it's my birthday... just spending time with myself here at home. taking a break. thanks to 780 and cert down time... i have some free time today.

i've had some time to contemplate on certain things... some are funny, some are touching, some are wishful thoughts... ponder on...

on losers... i wonder why genevieve had to die that way... lana stabbing her with one of the stones. i mean, all her life, genevieve spent her time and effort and money and all to get the darned stones. she didn't possess the objects of her desire... worse, she was killed by those. hihi.. what a loser.

on insect zappers... the perfect gift... last night, mom sent me a message and told me that my birthday gift is inside my dresser. i was so excited to get home... i opened the box... and there it was... an insect zapper - the one with the purple light that brutally zaps insects when they get near it. haha mom knows best. she knows that i am a natural mosquito magnet and i almost always rant about my mosquito bites... hihi! tenchutenchu... hey, i could use it as a pendant to ward off pesteng lamok... hehe!

on peach undies... weird hehe... kuya and aira gave me this peach panty... cute but weird! why would my kuya think of giving me that? funny but very much appreciated. it's really cute... actually, it could pass for a swim wear... only, it doesn't come with a top... hmmm... topless? eeeewww... haha!

on michie and thecx (and mumay)... received a dozen pink roses and cake from michie and thecx. i was so touched it made me cry... iyakin. mumay even brought it here at home from the office. she said, she thought that i might be on birthday leave and i might want to receive it on my birthday. very kind girl... =) i love my girls... they made me cry... huhu...

on wawin... when i woke up this morning, i saw win all tired sleeping on the couch. sightly sick with fever and cough and colds, he looked so thin and so kawawa. if i'm being eaten alive by my work, he's being consumed by his studies. he told me he feels tired and he feels that he's been studying all his life... and that he doesn't get to sleep at night because 24 hrs is not enough. aawww... poor creature.

on wanting someone... sometimes it's sad how much you express your gusto towards someone... but it just can't be. so touching how, after all these days, they still tell you how much you are welcome and loved and needed in their circle. sad how i utter in my head, if you could only have two families, i'd want the second one to be you... =) never have i seen a longing so unconditional and bold and trusting and all. and i miss you all too. =)

on ate cat... i'm fond of that name. well, a couple of "younger" people call me that... some younger peers from lcg, romarc (the adorable kid i used to play with... and now when i see him, he smiles and says, "ate cat!"), cecille (i probably look like her age but heck... i'm older and so she calls me ate cat), some guy at work (darn it... this is the only instance i don't appreciate being called ate... don't ever do that again baka nde kita matantya at lalong maningkit ang mata ko hehe)

on God's answers to our prayers... kuya had some issues and he was quite down for the past few days. the other day, he was upbeat again. i asked him if he's feeling better. he told me that he just thought of what i said and he felt better... "what did i say?", i asked. and he said that some time ago, i told him that when we ask for something from God, God says yes or no. when we are not given what we ask for, we feel hurt and grmble that our prayers are not answered. well, come to think of it, "NO" is actually an answer. so, He does hear us and and He does answer our prayers... (c/o the sisters of st. paul of chartres hihi)

on z... the last time i checked, z hasn't said "hello world" yet. hey come out na! and share this day with me! woohoo! riche, put some more effort of making ire! haha as if madali.

on abuse... meron pa rin talgang martyrs eh. i despise any form of abuse. verbal, physical, emotional... girl, you have a long way ahead of you. you are not a saint so don't act like one. get out while you can and build up whatever has been broken. you're young, pretty, intelligent... and you deserve someone better. don't fix something that can't be fixed. =) you are loved.

on game ka na ba... i love that show. hehe... wala lang. very educational. yun lang. i really love watching it.

on shake... again, i express my full support to my lcg peer, shake. he's a part of the final 12 for star in a million and i'm proud of him. =) text nyo ah! galing na bata ito!

on the end... hehe... well, that's it for my tell-the-world-of-your-thoughts thing... =)

updates daw - warning... this is a long one hihi

huwaw... yup. almost a month has passed since my last update. i don't know if i'm really busy or nag bu-busy-busyhan lang hehe... hmmm... maraming nangyari... gaya ng:

bridal shower kodi ko nga lang na-invite college friends ko. hehe joke. gotcha! bridal shower ni harbs. awww... ang saya-saya that saturday. we went to this quatro posas errrr pasos resort/inn in cavite and had an overnight bonding aka swimming aka bridal shower. we played strip-1-2-3-pass. hihi felt weird being naked in front of many people... ay may kumot naman hihi!

hmmm...maraming masasayang bagay hihi...=)

pagiging abay sa kasal ni harbshehe joke... feeling abay lang. i wore the gown from riche's wedding and my girlfriends bought similar shades of blue glown bwahaha... you bet lahat ng tao dun pinagkamalan kaming abay. we had a mega zillion pics and nagmistulang pictorial event ang napaka bonggang wedding ni harbs... wedding of the century itu... hehe... harbs, you'll be missed... a lot huwaaaaaah!

to be near youyun ultimate na itu... kumanta raw ako sa wedding ni harbs... i swear, the night before gusto ko na mag back-out! huwaaaah! pang banyo lang naman ang boses ko hihi! pero mahihindian ko ba si harbs? hihi... i love this girl. so to be near you it is. pasensya na... hehe kung medyo shaky, nervous, out of tune, "unmemorized" bwahaha! ang song number ko. it was my best and i offer that for you, harbs and alfredo =) (watda... offering itu!) may you go a super loooong way... infinite ang measure. =) unfathomable... mwah!

a thing i shouldn't have donei know i've hurt someone (ay hurt ba? hihi. nde naman diba... disappointed lang diba?) and i'm deeply sorry, baby. i assure you it'll never happen again.

missing my family so muchhehe ano itu... out-of-the-country... hehe i feel i haven't seen them for the longest time... kse naman ang uwi ko ay hindi uwi ng isang matinong babae... tipong mga adik-adik na lang ang gising sa kalye. kebs. mega walk ako sa sto. niño sa madaling araw pauwi. subukan lang nila. meron akong hmmm... susi at payong. haha! so whenever i have the chance to talk and kulit with them, i do so... yesterday, feeling ko sobrang na-miss ako ni wawin... mega kwento kami about... hehe aliens. ano ba?!? grabe i miss them =( i'm missing a lot lalo na with my kuya. i know he'd love it if we could sit down and talk about everything and anything. he's kinda sad for the past few months =(

missing my college friendsmga girls... hehe i know nawala ako sa sirkulasyon for the past month. and i heard of the out-of-the-country-reunion on 2006. i'm game! woohoo! this is something to look forward to. =) we've reached the first quarter of our lives (assuming we'll live a hundred yrs like sea turtles from finding nemo do) and it's time we do something major and fun. yup, camille, you're right. 2006 marks the 5th anniversary of our graduation hihi... lech ang tanda na natin ah... hehe kebs. old(er) but more graceful... wiser(?)... more equipped to face whatever the world has to throw us... hmmm prettier? hihihi... say yes, girls!

thank youto certain people who helped me out in times of "need"

feeling ko, kuya na ako

hihi... excited... with my new mp3 player! woohoo! it came out of nowhere, last saturday, kuya and i were supposed to go to a computer shop to have our pc repaired. but the service for repairs is available on weekdays lang pala.

i have nothing to do so i thought... bakit si kuya may mp3 player... si win may cd player na hinihiram ko lang paminsan-minsan... si mike meron din... e bakit ako wala? mahilig din naman ako sa music ah... haha nagpaawa para lang magkarason bumili...

oh well... i've been eyeing that player since last april pa... naiinggit ako kay mike (at kay leah) hihi. so dapat bibili na rin ako, kuya talked me out of it... di ko naman daw gagamitin... a few weeks after i got home, bumili si kuya ng exact same player... haha...

so... ayun na nga... laging nakatapal sa tenga nya yung earpiece... asus...

going back, last saturday, edi wala na nga kaming lakad kse sarado yung shop... out of nowhere, i pushed his door open with a scary force (na nde ko alam san galing), and i blurted out "kuya, bibili na ko ng mp3 player" (*parang ang tono e super excited... i swear halos napatalon ako pagkakasabi ko nun, smile from ear to ear).

tingin lang sya... ang weird ko raw bigla-bigla lang... kung kelan ko raw nadecide yun. sabi ko, ngayon lang as in ngayon naisip ko lang hihi.. walang pakialamanan. bakit ba? hehe...

so ayun. he was forcing me to get the ipod na lang para nde kami pareho hehe (kse pareho rin kmeng 7650 ang phone na binili 2 yrs ago)... cute yung ipod kulay apple green... kaya lang may mga features na meron sa creative na wala sa dun sa lech na cute na ipod na yun... like hmmm... fm tuner, yung maliit na panglipat na kinakabit para nde naka-expose yung player mo, at yung stand... hehe... yun lang naman. pero for the same price, why settle for mas konting features diba? so creative it is... plus... 5 gigs yung creative, 4 lang yung ipod.

binilhan na rin namin ng speakers para share mo naman ang tunog diba... wag madamot ba... so 1 speaker kay kuya (na birthday gift ko na rin... sabi nya, buti na lang nilibre ko sya. sabi ko mali... buti na lang birthday nya... kse nde ko naman sya ililibre kung nde nya birthday hihi) at isa rin for me...

so ayun. ang haba ng kwento ko... nakakainis. e sa tamad kong to, sabi ko kay kuya, he could do the job of loading up songs in my player. i told him to copy whatever he has in his list. he's more than willing to do the task.

ok monday na, dala ko na sa work si player... ayos... pagkatapos ng araw, feeling ko e kuya na ko. ang mga songs na narinig ko maghapon puro pearl jam, razorback, parokya.. haha pang-kuya ehhh!!! ang lagay pa eh... 3 versions each song pa, 1 original, 1 acoustic, 1 live... asus... sumakit ang ulo ko.

hehe anyway, na-aappreciate ko naman... maganda rin naman and gusto ko rin naman mga songs na ganun... lalo ng pearl jam... astig yun bow ako dun idol ko rin yun.

marami ring lifehouse at coldplay... may naligaw na mga 10 songs ni nina and mymp hihi... kaya ok naman hehe... pang kuya... sana ganahan na ko mag load ng songs "ko" hihi...

3 things

kita ko sa site ni liza

Three names you go by:
1. caths
2. cat
3. karen

Three screen names you have had:
1. irish
2. hapon
3. lucky deleon

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. maliit
2. mata
3. dimple hihi

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. kulot (wavy lang hihi)
2. pango hihi
3. pimples sa likod

Three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. chinese
3. --

Three things that scare you:
1. death of loved ones
2. lokohin ng bf (ulit?!? what the...?!?!)
3. earthquake

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. perfume or cologne
2. petroleum jelly
3. cellphone

Three of your favorite bands/musical artist:
diverse sobra ang gusto ko hihi...

Three of your favorite songs:
1. into you
2. make me whole
3. for you
4. twisted
5. you first believed

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. consistency
2. patience sa pagiging isip bata ko =)
3. respect

Three truths and lies in no particular order:
(truths)
1. super mababaw - patawanin at paiyakin
2. nang-aaway ng bf pag magkakaron
3. i don't voice out what i really feel
(lies)
1. i'm assertive
2. i'm a good decision-maker
3. i don't value my family and friends and blessings

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. eyes
2. smile
3. naka-white

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. watching tv
2. blogging
3. reading

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. cuddle with someone
2. go to hawaii
3. go home and sleep.. i'm dead tired

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. pre-school teacher at makipaglaro sa mga bata
2. travel and adventure show host or staff
3. accountant

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Hawaii
2. Japan
3. Bora

Three kid's name you like:
1. Nikkie
2. Therese
3. Sebastian

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. travel the world din
2. live comfortably and contentedly with my family
3. hmmm... yun... hihi

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. masungit pag magkakaron hihi
2. fickle-minded
3. mahilig sa sweet-nothings

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. i don't nag (may mag-oobject ba? hihi)
2. nde ako matagal mag prepare for a lakad (again, objections?)
3. i do not show affection that much (same here, liza)

Three celeb crushes:
1. si adam sa smallville
2. si lex sa smallville
3. si jason sa smallvile

People you would like to pass this tag:
hmmm... kahit sino =)

2 odd things

i've got two interesting stuff to share today. it's a gloomy day, looks like it'll rain soon but it's a fine day still. =)

"tumataba ka"

woohoo! the best thing i heard this morning. =)

mauie, lamo ba na the ever famous sol anne's bakeshop/tambayan during our HS days is here at spi... hihi nagulat nga ako at nakita ko si aling sol (that's how the people here call her) nung pagpasok ko pa lang dito eh... (that was 3 yrs ago.. and heck, yes, i'm old [old and happy])

well, masarap yung food nila. medyo expensive nga lang pero i think mataas kse yung rent nila dito eh kaya ganun.

anyway, so ayun, i was buying my breakfast this morning... pandesal with cheese pimiento and ovaltine 3-in-1. tapos yung 1 tindera nila, tingin sakin sabi, "tumataba ka... yung pisngi mo gumaganon" sabay demo na parang lumolobo yung pisngi ko...

i just answered, "wow, talga? yehey!" hihi...

i don't know what makes me taba... but whatever it is, i give it a high-5... woohoo!

it could be hmmm... my work? makes me eat at odd hours and odd quantities and odd whatevers...

it could be hmmm... my shift? when i'm in 2nd shift, i get more than 8 hrs of sleep...

it could be hmmm... because i'm happy? although medyo sad ako ngayon kse some people in my life are acting kinda childlike and ang tagal nang nde maresolve ng conflict... hay. guys, let's all grow up! (kasama ako)... at nasasad ako pag tumataas ang level ng hormones na lech... hehe

buhay si caren carpenter

5 minutes ago, i answered the phone... conversation went...

caths: servisoft
guy: hello, good morning. pwede kay caren?
caths: caren?
guy: caren carpenter?
caths: caren? (*super pigil ang tawa)
guy: caren carpenter
caths: (*pigil pa rin pero medyo natawa na talga ko...)
guy: (*nakahalata... nag-isip) ay sorry caren gaspar pala (*giggles)
caths: ay wala pa po sya eh (*di nakapigil bumungisngis na... hihihi!)

it was so funny! ayun pareho kami tawang-tawa... akalain nyong hanapin si caren carpenter?!? sana sinabi ko... caren carpenter as in "rainy days and mondays always make me cry?" hihi... the odd things in life! are so funny! =)

on war of the worlds...

hehe... well, it wasn't really one of those days that i would like to remember. but every memory, good or bad helps shape whatever you have in your being.

literally, there was a war of the worlds hehe... two worlds, that is. semi lang. oa naman ako you know. minsan kahit super babaw, e nagiging gigantic sakin hihi...

watched uaap with (or without? hehe) mike. i felt goosebumps just watching the opening ceremonies and feeling the oh-so-high school spirit of everybody there. i was among the adamson crowd hehe wrong gate... good thing the family beside me were clapping for my team... heck, i clapped with them hihi... kahit na 4 lang kami cheer for my team, at least i was not that alone.

and then... off to another war, we watched the war of the worlds. i know almost everybody didn't like the story... but heck, i think i liked it! yeah... i think it's great. i dunno if i'm just mababaw or it's really good.

that day... hmmm... revealed a lot of firsts. i know i don't always speak or yell out what's on my mind, but i always strive to be honest on how i feel... one way or another. i know it shows in the way i act... i know i make "certain" people crazy the way i shut myself out and just play dead and numb... or maybe enforce "certain" people to play guessing games with me... but you could never deduce anything from me if i opt to shut myself out... until, of course, i'm ready to spill it all out.

and if in the process, i was able to somehow hurt somebody's feelings, i'm deeply sorry but that was how i felt.

i'm ok now... we're ok now. i just felt the urge to speak out how i felt that day. =)

i'm so A-ok... in fact i can't wait to see you hihi...

it's kuya's birthday tomorrow. well, we're in the midst of another war... i'm in another ipit-na-naman-ako-session (i'm not complaining) and i don't know if i could manage to resolve it tomorrow, but i'll try my best. after all there's only 4 of us left and i don't want to disrupt the harmony of what i call the perfect family (for me, that is). panindigan ang pagiging middle child, mediator, barangay captain, lawyer, na nasa gitna ng anumang sigalot... asus ano raw?

it's a fine day. =)

mellow friday

another friday... and i find it rather hard to smile today. as in almost nakasimangot ako... hay pero nde naman ako nagsusungit pag may lumalapit sakin hehe. i'm not that type. i could smile naman and be good to the unsuspecting people around me... after all, they don't know what's going on inside my body and soul and mind naman diba... why the heck should i make sungit naman diba?

feeling heavy because of the pre-monthly thing... ayoko nga tumayo kaninang umaga eh... bakit ba kse every month na lang kailangan bumigat ang kalooban dahil sa mga lech na hormones... hay.. kakainis. yung parang kahit pilitin mong maging light, argh ang bigat pa rin...

tapos... last night, pumunta kami ni papa mike sa wake ng mom ng close friend ko. it's just so sad... seeing them all so sad and mourning.

made me think of my loved ones and what i'll do if the same thing happened to me. yung sa iba nga, ang bigat na sa kalooban and heck... i'm not even in their shoes. yun pa kayang sayo mangyari...

well, eventually, dun din naman lahat mag-end up kaya lang it's just a sad thing. para kasing in my head, caths = mom + kuya + win... tapos... pag may nawala, incomplete na... and i don't want that to happen. sana mauna ako... hihi shellfish... selfish pala.

ayan muka tuloy akong tanga... umiiyak... unti-unti... tapos punas punas lang panyo para matuyo... hay... i get really weird at times... baka isipin ng mga tao dito may mabigat akong problema hihi...

oa scripts

the grudge scare

last sunday, the grudge 2 was aired on abs-cbn... and yes, it was scary as hell even if it was dubbed in filipino... argh. my mom and i were pretending to be women of courage and strength as we watched portions of the freaky film.

after that, our lives have never been the same (hihi oa).

imagine how scared i got two days ago... 3am, i woke up and felt this sudden pang of lbm attack... how i managed to beat the scared cells in my body, i don't know... but i definitely had to go... so mega run ako... mixed emotions of being scared and wanting to ebs is reaaaallyyy bad! argh argh...

*sige camille, dagdagan mo pa ng pagpost mo ng mata mo! hehe... cool!

on cold, dark showers

summer's gone and the cold rainy season is embracing us all now. apparently, a leak on our roof caused an explosion in our bathroom light. a million and one sparks drizzled while i was inside the bathroom. hihi oa ulit. nag short circuit lang yung ilaw... and now, we take our showers in a sort of romantic way.. hihi candle light... candle light shower? hihi...

the attack of the pimples

pimples on my back freak me out... hay i hate it. i remember i once tried extraderm #50. oa ulit #3 lang hihi... at nagbalat akong parang ahas... matapos ang pagbabalat, nanumbalik ang mga tighiyawat sa aking likod... darn it. can't i just have a normal errrrr back? hihi... after my countless puyat nights dito sa office, ayun, medyo kumakalat sa muka ko yung pimples... argh! stop!!!

juana tamad's remedy

want to know what caths does when the seams of her pants become tastas?

sew it? nah... (although i know running stitch, back stitch, cross stitch, hemming stitch, burda stitch, cross bone stitch, at kung anu-ano pang stitch... promise! di oa to! salamat kina mrs. cruz, mrs. ramirez, mga huwarang gurong nagturo ng pananahi noong kabataan ko hihi oa alert)

ask others to saw it? nah... (pandidilatan lang ako ng mata ng nanay ko kung ginawa ko yun)

tape it? nah... natatanggal... nakaka conscious lagi ko tinitingnan kung naka-tape pa.

the answer? STAPLE it! the staple wires are slightly visible but it's pretty much reliable. woohoo! hehe sorry! tamad ako eh... =)

GONE off-key

hay... guess what time i got home? 630pm! wooohoo! that's what i call normal =). just in time to see the almost setting sun. i'm back to my regular shift and i'm not yet THAT busy (ah ganon ah! wait for a few more days... i bet balik sa dati ka na naman hihi!).

when i got home, i got bored watching the news and hearing about the millions of dilemma we're into right now. argh... too much bad news is pouring our way. heeding somebody's advice, i turned the tv off... what to do? darn it... i've got to do something. sayang ang pag-uwi ko nang maaga...

and then i saw the piano and thought, when was the last time i hit the keys? grabe... kung merong nangangalawang, mga kamay ko yun. grabe! i'm so lousy na playing the piano... i was actually making noise rather than music hehe... dagdagan pa ng pagka-off-key ng piano dahil sa kalumaan at tagal nang hindi natutugtog. hay... what the heck... to hell with critics... i played along. my favorite's GONE... and karaniwang theme song sa mga drama shows hehe... i was teary-eyed as i played the piece. kahit wala sa tono, wala sa tyempo, i'm so into this piece. sa loob-loob ko, kebs kung wala sa tono ang piano ko? deep inside, i'm playing the right tune. hehe lakas ng fighting spirit!

the simple pleasures of life =)... so nice

how will you take it?

hay... i know telling the truth is the RIGHT thing to do... but what if telling the truth would make it impossible for some of the "essential" and "necessary" things to push through? twisting some of the facts would be a remedy, but bending some facts means NOT telling the truth; therefore a lie.

i have no idea how you'll take it, but i guess the bottom line is trust. i know you trust me and i don't want to break this wonderful gift you've given me.

i have two options:

muster a zillion and one tons of guts and say it point blank... give it a shot...
two things could happen:
* you might think it's probably fine and just tell me... go ahead
* you might give me a stern look from head to toe... and just hate me until you forget what i just told you

not divulge too much information. filter some stuff for the good of mankind (yeah convince yourself that it's not a lie... go ahead use some flowery terms! duh!)
two things could happen:
* i'll have it my way woohoo! and you'll never ever know that some things transpired
* you might eventually find (not necessarily seek) the truth and spit on my face ewww... hehe brutal eh! of course, you'll not do that... but you just might.

what to do? what to do? the first option has more weight for me 'cause it's the right thing to do. either of the two is risky, though. i'm on the losing end no matter what hehe. =( sometimes it's just so hard and painful and undesirable to do the right things...

well, i could always delay things... no action, no lie. no lie, no sin hehe! argh!

5am

and i'm still here. i've been here for 16 hours. argh... and i'm still getting a lot or variations in my data! my goodness... i thought there's this word.. hmmm... STANDARD? apparently it's an alien term for some. argh...

thank you for understanding me still... despite the oddness and irregularity of my work-clock (and my body clock just the same) hehe... despite the constant change of plans... and the seemingly snob attitude for your motivations (which are very much super dooper appreciated)... and the weekend-lang-ang-kita-every-two-weeks-kse-2nd-(and-3rd)-shift-ako schedule... thank you for just sighing and uttering, "i understand..." don't ever get tired of it... it's only temporary. what we have "might" last a lifetime =)

and i'm outta here... *yawn... got less than 5 hours to sleep... sana wag ako singilin ng katawan ko someday... huhuhu.

shake it! shake it! hehe =)

hehe... announce ko lang... nood kayo ng star in a million ah... may friend ako dun from lcg... si shake (ardie shane) =) galing na bata yun hehe! napanood tuloy ako ng star in a million. =) woohoo!

nood kayo ah =)

siguro...

pwede ko nang papalitan ang home address ko ng SPI Technologies, Inc., PITC bldg. achuchuchu hihi...

bakit? you may ask... kasi dito na ko nakatira hihi!

for the past week, my life drama has been... wake up at 10am -> go to work -> work like a slave 'til 3am or 4am -> walk home -> sleep -> wake up at 10am... (syempre may constant checks yan... so it's not that bad) gosh... kawawa naman katawan pagod na.

ayan walang patawad, sunday, nasan ako? imbis na nasa bahay at nakatunganga or nakikipaglandian... hihi ayos... andito ako sa SPI Technologies, Inc., PITC bldg. achuchuchu.

mag-isa, walang makausap, walang makapagsabi sakin na... ok lang yan... wlang mumu dito. kasi ang tahimik... so quiet it's freaking me out.

nag reboot pa ang citrix. asus... hello?!?! pano ko matatapos? gusto ko nang umuwi...

* sana saturday na... hehe. wala lang. sana. saturday na =) mwah...

* i can't take it... going home... can't stand the silence... freaking me out.

observations...

first day of work after the long weekend.

newbies --->there are 1 million new employees here at SS sheesh... the new batch is composed of around 30 people ata. wow... we're really growing, huh? i also realized that i've been here for more that three years and the newbies are most probably 3 yrs (+) younger than me. i'm old(er)! hehe! grabe they all look so young!

natipos ako... ---> ya uh! with my new hair cut! i observed that when you request your manggugupit to trim off 3 inches from your hair, they double it! so he slashed off a good 6 inches from my hair. next time, i'll say "trim lang... 1 inch lang..." para 2 inches lang ang bawas hehe.

special day ---> why? you might ask... 'cause today is mommy riche's birthday! happy birthday! hmmm... once a week? that's cool! way too cool! *evil grin...

pouring rain ---> had a rainy dream. super rain! pouring rain talga! iiyak na naman ako? it's probably all in the mind. baka imbis na tears, e more blessings ang uulan. not that i'm asking for more. wag lang sana tears. =)

looking forward ---> to a great week =) and lifetime!