a sponge can only absorb so much water...

tired and still homeless

we've been house hunting for the past 2 or 3 weeks. it's a tiring ordeal! we have viewings after office hours. we also have a lot during weekends. during weekdays, we would rush from the office to various flats and go home at around 9 or 10 pm all drained and tired and hungry. on weekends, we spend almost the entire day doing the same thing.

this is the first time that we'll get a unit on our own. we always had acquaintances as housemates. with the baby coming, we feel it might be difficult to still share the home with people outside of the family. it might be unfair for them.

this sounds exciting but this also means that expenses will be higher. all expenses will be divided by 3 instead of the usual 5 or 4. whew. we better get ready for this!

for the first time, we considered getting an hdb unit. hdbs are public housing units and rents are considerably lower than condos are private apartments. there are really nice hdb units around, especially the ones that are renovated or well-maintained, and you will almost have no reason to get a private flat. if you stay in condos or apartments, you pay for the amenities, security, and the ehem nice view. hehe. hdbs are quite spacious compared to the private housings but there's still the fact that anybody could just come in and out of your floor. these units are not fenced or guarded, but then again, it's quite safe here.

so after viewing unit after unit, we considered the following units:

- hdb flat in pasir ris (2k) - we were 8 hours too late for the offer. we viewed the unit one weeknight and waited too long the next day. when we decided to offer, the unit was already taken. it was a really spacious and clean unit. we wanted it badly but the competition within tenants is also fierce. every minute counts.

- unit in clear water condo (3.1k) - we offered for 2.7k. hehe it was like shooting for the stars. we were probably insane for offering such a low amount for the unit, but it was the highest that we were willing to go - 2.7k. unit was perfect, with 3 rooms plus an extra small room plus a maid's room. just perfect. however, condo was not that accessible. even if it was, the owner didn't accept our offer of 2.7k. "crazy tenants! wanting to rent my perfect unit for 2.7k" haha!

- unit in white house condo (3k) - again, we offered 2.7k. this is the ultimate unit! accessible 100%, pretty, pretty, nice, nice! 3 rooms, no maid's room. we are waiting for the owner if he will accept our offer. we are crossing all body parts that we could cross!

so after all of these, as i said, we are all tired and still homeless! we still have 1 month and 1 or 2 weeks. timer starts now!

feeling her for the first time

in about 2 to 3 weeks, baby girl will have her first taste of life-giving oxygen. for more than 8 months now, she has been this silent living creature inside april's belly. in all those 8 months, i have never felt her move. sometimes, april feels amazed at how likot she is. sometimes, she complains because the movements are too rigorous, almost painful. baby girl moves when april sits too close to her office table. apparently, baby doesn't like it when things are in contact with april's tummy. hehe. that or maybe she somehow feels that something is close by and she wants to play with it.

i've been waiting for the perfect timing when i could feel her move. see, i had to wait for more than 8 months :) while we were having lunch today, april called us when she felt baby move. i ran and felt her... and there it was, the perfect moment! i felt her move!!! i think it might have been her knees that moved like a giant wave on april's belly! it was soooo amazing! i love her already!

the last time we had a baby at home was when wawin was born. it was 1986 and i was 6 years old. wawin was a delicate little child. as he had congenital heart disease, we were very careful when he cried. he would get out of breath and his lips would turn purple. those were frightening days.

that was so many years ago. now, i wonder how it feels like to have a baby in the house again. :)

dear keyla,

auntie cat awaits for you. get ready for countless hugs and kisses and showers of love! the world has so many things in store for you.

love,

nanay, tatay, auntie cat, and uncle toy

(april, kuya, me, wawin)

magtatakipsilim

sa mga panahong ganito (read: mga panahong madrama ako), naiisip ko ang kanta ni wency na next in line: "what has life to offer me when i grow old?" pwede rin namang que sera sera: "will i be pretty, will i be rich?" (talagang yung line ba na yun dapat?!?)

sa taong ito, mag-30 na ako. siguro palapit na nang palapit sa pagtatakipsilim ng buhay ko. remember, paikli nang paikli ang life span ng tao. who knows, naabot ko na ang 1/3 ng buhay ko. meaning hanggang 90 years old akong aabot. kung maging nega ako, maaaring isipin kong naabot ko na ang kalahati ng buhay ko. so feeling ko 60 years ang hangganan ng buhay ko? kung maging ultra nega pa rin ako, maaaring 80% na ng buhay ko ang na-spend ko.

grabe. this is scary. wala pa akong anak. wala pa akong asawa. hindi ko pa nagagawa lahat na gusto kong gawin. hindi ko pa napupuntahan ang lahat ng gusto kong puntahan. lumilipas ang bawat araw na nagtatrabaho lang ako, nagbabasa ng facebook at twitter, gumagastos. at pagdating pa ng ganitong petsa ng buwan, ayan na nagsisimula na akong maging monster mag-isip. idagdag na natin yan sa pampalipas-oras ko. hay. talaga naman oo!

bakit si mami, nung 30 sya may 2 na syang anak? hmm, in fact, 3 na ata e! grabe! ang dami-dami na nyang napagdaanan at nagawa. sa taglay ba naman nyang tapang at talino e! hay. ibig sabihin ba nun, duwag ako at medyo hindi ako matalino?

hay. magawa ko lang ang mga ito, siguro ok na ako. hindi na ako matatakot.

1. magkaron ng pamilya at anak. super pangarap ko talagang magka-anak. feeling ko, ang dami-dami kong love na gustong ibigay kung bibigyan lang ako ng chance. iba yung love sa asawa, iba rin yung love sa baby/ies. gusto kong i-shower unconditionally yung 2 love na yun.
2. merong nagpupumiglas na desire sa kalooban ko na gumawa ng something. it doesn't have to be grand as in "change the world!" kahit na sa "make a difference!" level lang super happy na siguro ako. the thing is, hindi pa sya pinapakita sa akin kung ano man yun. pero i strongly feel na there's something! excited akong i-reveal sakin yun. yung giving back factor ba. lead me and i'll follow.
   
3. mapagsilbihan ko si mami, or at least make her happy - si mami ang constant good thing in my life. ayokong dumating yung time na magiging alone si mami. she's been through a lot.
4. makita, at least, na masaya ang 2 kong kapatid at ang sari-sarili nilang pamilya.
   

for now, yun ang mga wish list ko. syempre there's someone greater than me and me wishing these. there's someone wiser who knows better than me - one who will grant OR will not grant these wishes. tiklop naman ako e. :) tina-try ko namang maging masunuring bata. hehehe.

ayan parang hindi na ako malungkot. :) siguro naman hindi pa 80% no? :p

sapok, sampal, hampas

as a lenten activity, the sisters of lingkod planned to watch the film "the passion of Christ". since kuya and april had plans to visit the IT fair today, i offered that we could watch the film here in our house.

this is the second time that i watched the film. the first one was during the movie screening in manila. i watched it with mami. a couple of years passed but when i watched it today, it had the same effect on me - shock. besides the fact that the portrayal was close to perfect, something that happened during college kept on flashing in my mind while watching the film.

it was RELS class (i'm thinking it's RELSONE). we had this professor (i forgot his name) who asked for a volunteer. one of the girls (i won't tell who she is) raised her hand and she was prompted to go to the front.

teacher asked her, "come, hit me hard on the face." we were all shocked. i found it hard to fathom what his point was. she didn't hit him. teacher made his point. we find it really hard to hit somebody on the face but every time we sin, we become one of the people who gave Jesus the deathly blows prior to His death.

i have so many moments in my life that i am not proud of, in fact i am really ashamed to even talk about these. how many blows have i given Him? in the movie, i cringed every time He was hit. i even cried at certain points. the realization here is... i am one of the killers. when i watched the movie for the first time, what i felt was just pure awa for Him. this time, my realization is different. i was able to associate myself with the soldiers who beat Him to His death, with the people who threw stones at Him, who rebuked Him and showed no mercy. i am one of them. it was so easy for me to show my disgust and cry when He was hit in the film, but it's amazing how easy and shameless it is for me to continuously sin day after day.

i appreciate the activity today. so many realizations. perfect way to end sunday.

PS: my girl classmate hit the teacher really hard after a good convincing. i didn't tell in my story above because i was trying to help teacher make his point :p hehehe. he was hoping she wouldn't hit him so he could get his message across. he was still successful, i think, because i still can't forget it after all these years.

so what do i do now? i know i'll still hit Him a million times or more during my entire lifetime, but i could always try and aim not to.

s-16 chums

i am in a sentimental mood. sentimental in a good way. i'm browsing through some old mobile pictures and look at what i found. these girls are my original buddies during college. pic was taken when i went home a few years ago.

we were lunch buddies, block mates (before i moved to a different block), project mates, thesis mates, movie and mall buddies, tambay mates, aba'y lahat na ata.

mauie was my elementary classmate and HS schoolmate. we didn't talk back then. i could only recall one instance during 4th yr HS but that's just about it. we were mere acquaintances. during the first orientation day, i was really shy to be around her. maybe because we were never close during HS. as the days passed, i fell in love with her being and i consider her to be my closest girl friend during college. we clicked instantly and we share the same kapilyahan. hehehe! as i mentioned before, our souls were twins! as in!

riche was the sosy girl from CSA. at first, i was really intimidated because she's so sosyal... with the english ispokening and all. she was the girl with long hair and big shirts. rakistang mistulan. she was best friends with allen - who is the other sosy CSA girl. hehehe. they were sosy but not maarte and not mapangmata. from the boyish image, she slowly transformed to this semi-girly image. i was with riche when she first learned of z's existence. i was with riche when i first met mike.

ecel was the girl na mahilig mambara. hahaha! while mau, riche, and i share the same characteristic of being bungisngis, ecel was the straight-faced one. when one will tell a joke, the 3 of us will giggle immediately. ecel will remain serious. hehehe. she's a very deep person but that doesn't make her less lovable. i love it when, during college, ecel shared her fears of remaining single forever, and now she's really blooming and in love with mr. papa.

i love these girls. we've been through a lot. we've been through everything. we shared the same wish of being hit by a bus when we almost failed our thesis. we (minus mau) shared the same house in laguna during ojt. we all stayed up all night doing projects in riche's room - all those countless nights we slept on riche's carpet! college days were tough but they were extra special and bearable with these girls around. towards the later part of the college years, i also became super close with camille and liza - they are not in the picture but i do hope one day we'll have the chance to be together in one great pic :) i love these 5 girls!

play pen!

look, look, look! baby has a new tambayan ;). my niece is coming home
soon. so sooooon! can't wait!

i miss hershey's brown cow

when we were young, mama would buy us hershey's brown cow. there's a small bottle and there's also a big bottle. if mama bought the big bottle, ay! jackpot yun!

hershey's brown cow has always been a treat for us. we didn't buy it regularly because we were not rich. it was quite expensive that time. fresh milk wasn't in yet and pang sosyal lang ang fresh milk noon. what we had was birch tree full cream powdered milk. prior to the refill pack era, we bought the canned birch tree. if we have extra money, mama will buy the biggest can. if medyo gipit, medium lang. hehehe.

i wonder if there's still hershey's brown cow. why did i remember? when we went to the universal studios, there's a hershey's shop and you could find everything that hershey's-ey in there... except brown cow :( the closest they have is this hershey's syrup. well, it's not that bad :) we also bought the one that's malt flavor but it doesn't taste superb. so-so lang.

moooooo

updates and bands

time check: 9 months before the wedding. everything is going smoothly. we agree on just about everything.

suppliers that have been booked so far:

• church - st. pancratius chapel
  
• reception - ibarra's garden
• invitation - wink
• photographer, videographer, photo booth - nice print
• gowns and barong - amonn velasco

suppliers that need to be booked:

• flowers
• music band for the church and/or reception (if we'll choose to have one)
• lights and sounds in the reception
• hair and makeup
• souvenirs for the principal and secondary sponsors
• honeymoon
  
• wedding rings/bands

wedding rings/bands. as i said, we agree on just about everything. when we are scouting for suppliers, one of us will give an idea and the other will agree right away. no sweat. no idea is ever too ugly or questionable for us. that is until we started talking about the wedding rings. last night we had our first disagreement about it.

mike wants to have bulgari rings. i don't. a paulinian is warm, simple, and active. i'm not warm. i'm not active. i think i'm simple (yes ginamit pa ang pagiging paulinian ;p). for this reason, i want a really, really, really simple wedding ring. i don't want too many flashing stones and neither do i want brands being advertised on my finger. the one he likes is this ring with "bulgari" boldly and visibly engraved on the sides.

really, i should have told him subtly but what i told him was plain and direct: i don't like having a brand name displayed like an ad. if we grow old, do you think it will look good on our fingers? i like just a simple band. i may have been too direct. he became quiet and gently told me he is making tampo because it's like i shrugged his idea away without even considering it.

dear me, why do we have to agree on everything but the rings? :( he really likes it so i don't want to force him to wear a simple band. but i also do not like the bulgari ring and i don't want to force myself to wear it. :( hay.

today, ahngel and ate a accompanied me to some jewelry stores and my my i fell in love with this very thin band with 2 or 3 small stones. the groom's ring is also gorgeous but i'm sure he'll not like it. so how, ah? the store manager said that i could ask mike to look for a design that he likes and he'll try to find a similar design. anyway, the ring that i like isn't too choosy with a partner, meaning we could try to mix and match.

mike is the most understanding soul. i told him, "i found some good rings today. they are also on sale!" he said, "ok, ikaw na ang bahalang humanap ng ok na design for us." i know deep inside that he still wants the bulgari ring and i don't want him to look at his simple ring with hidden disgust. so... it's still my dilemma. i forwarded him some catalogs. who knows, he might find one that he likes and he will give in to me mwahahahaha :)

for now, it is an open item. sale period is almost over. i have a few more days to convince him. kapalit ay kiss, papayag kaya sya? :p

ps: i don't have anything against couples who wear the bulgari rings. if it makes them happy, then it can't be that bad :) but it's just not for me. it won't look good on me. i. simply. know. bow.

turistas

it isn't very obvious but there are a number if tourists on this
picture. pic taken at the fountain of wealth one lunch break. i love
the feeling of being a tourist. you don't have any worries. you are
there to feast your eyes an fill your senses with all things that are
wonderful.

disturbing

a few weeks ago, i saw the ara mina interview by mo twister. she's running for some public office, mo was interviewing her. she said she doesn't watch the news because it's depressing. bless her :p

here are some disturbing news i've heard from the past days. maybe events like these make ara sad.

• during a show (forgot which US state), a killer whale grabbed its trainer by the waist and strangled the trainer to death - this happened in front of families watching the show :-S it shouldn't work this way. killer whales don't kill people. the trainer wanted to be a whale trainer since she was a little girl. who would have guessed that this dream will take her life one day? :-S
• a korean couple was arrested for the death of their baby. in the autopsy, the cause of the death was long-term malnutrition. investigations show that they were addicted to... wait for it... RAISING A VIRTUAL BABY! how lame could that sound! they were both unemployed and spent hours in internet cafes raising the virtual kid. the real-world baby was neglected to her death! they feed her only once day. poor baby. :-S
• earthquakes here and there
• giant waves hit a cruise ship and injure a couple of people
• drought affecting most crops in the philippines

hay...

travels

we went to the NATAS fair last friday. it was a fair that featured good travel deals. i'm not sure if they were pretty good prices. kuya and april scouted for packages for their planned australia tour on august. i went to look if there were nice packages for our honeymoon on december!

mike and i initially agreed on going to palawan for honeymoon. original choices were: cebu, bellarocca resort in marinduque, and palawan. i forgot how we narrowed down the choice to palawan. hehe. we initially had thailand in the list but we figured once we are here, it would be easier to go to thailand (due to proximity) than to go back to the philippines. so palawan it is.

but come friday, i saw some really tempting offers in the NATAS fair. we've always wanted to go to koh sa mui in thailand. the pictures are just gorgeous! i think the prices are not that good but the beaches are really nice! and so i was torn. i wanted to go to thailand and i wanted to go to palawan too. i sent mike and SMS and asked him, where are we really going? things are really easy for guys. his reply was really simple: "palawan :)". hehe ba't ba nanggugulo ako?!? so again, palawan it is! hahaha!

as for kuya and april, they decided not to get the australian tour because it's quite expensive too. so in the end, all i had taken from the NATAS fair is the picture above. :) people going to the MRT from the fair. hehe i wonder: how many of them went home happy with their dream travel packages?

ps: NATAS is SATAN spelled backwards. scary. :s

God Makes Wonders

today, when i logged in to facebook (yes, facebook is a part of my daily routine), i saw that dear mike became a fan of "God Makes Wonders" page.

the moment i saw it, i clicked "become a fan" right away. i have so many reasons to become a fan today.

• God makes wonders because today, i received a very good news. i was haunted since last week. it could have been worse, but i received a call today.

caller: hi, the results are back
me (ever bingi): huh? did you just say "the results are BAD?"
caller: sorry to frighten you. i meant the results are back. B-A-C-K. you have nothing to worry about.

yes, God makes wonders. despite my being bingi, i heard good news!

• God makes wonders because we were able to execute a successful despedida party for our dear sunshine who is leaving the team. the wonder here is we were able to celebrate and see beyond the sadness of saying goodbye. it was a joyous night. good food, wonderful people, happy laughter.

• God makes wonders because i have a strong mother - strong in all aspects. she is still in very good shape at age 56. no major health issues, i bet she'll outlive me :p she is just as strong emotionally. she has been through a lot, still going through some more, but she sure knows how to make lemonade out of lemons thrown badly at her. i know God is behind her every step and every breath.

• God makes wonders because baby girl is coming in a few more weeks. how else could you define a miracle? a concrete example is how a mother carries and nurtures another living creature inside her. new life never fails to amaze me. can't wait to see you, baby! auntie cat is here for you :)

dear God, i am a big fan. i am a big fan of how you make little wonders each day. i am a fan of the magnanimous blessings. i am a fan of how you touch my life. i am a fan of how you teach me and mold me into becoming who catherine really is. i am a fan! :)

sugarol

last saturday, we went to the resort world casino upang umusyoso. hehehe. it's not my first time to go to the casino. we were not frequent visitors, but mama, kuya, and i went to "visit" the casino filipino for a couple of times. wow! couple of times. couple of times na ba ang 3? hehehe. i was never lucky in gambling.

mukang hindi na mauulit ang casino visit namin dito dahil naman, meyn! papasok ka pa lang, olats ka na! nakapaskil sa entrance:

100SGD - entrance fee for Permanent Residents and Singaporeans
2000SGD - Annual Fee

my toinks moment:
me (malabo ang mata, napasigaw. later on wishing i did not think aloud): wow! ang mahal naman ng bayad kapag may dala kang ANIMAL! 2000! bat naman ako magdadala ng ANIMAL sa casino?!?! edi iiwan ko na lang sa bahay!
april (tumawa, pero parang nairita): ANNUAL yun! magsalamin ka na nga!

bwahahaha bat kasi nagmamaganda at ayaw magsalamin :p

visitors have no entrance fee. april and i are PRs, kuya and wawin are not. so entrance pa lang, may cash out na agad kaming 200. wow talaga.

anyway, we went there to have some fun. at the top of our heads, we'll not spend more than 100 each inside the casino. so ayun, mega buy na kami ng chips. 400 all in all, tig 100 na taya kung saan mo gusto. kuya introduced us to the roulette. ang ganda pakinggan! pero in reality, para lang syang laro sa perya hehe. may roleta, papaikutin ang bola, hanggang patigilin sya ni gravity at ma-stuck sya sa isang number sa board. ang mga tao sa paligid ng mesa, bago tumigil ang bola, maglalagay ng chips sa hula nilang lalapagan ng bola. pwedeng odd, even, red, black, first 12, 2nd 12, etc., or yung single number mismo ang tayaan mo. yun ang pinakamalaking premyo - kapag nahulaan mo yung single number!

as i said, malas ako sa sugal, so si wawin ang pinaghawak ko ng 200 namin. sabi ko "wawin, bahala ka nang tumaya kung saan mo gusto pero bago tayo umuwi, itaya mo ako sa number 5. yun lang ang hiling ko."

haling na haling ang mga tao sa pagtaya! as in isang tayaan ay 1600! na nawawala na lang na parang bula kung mali ang hula mo. as in!

hay, inabot kami ng 6 na oras sa loob. mananalo, matatalo. paulit-ulit lang. hanggang nagsawa na kami, malapit nang umuwi. pinaalala ko kay wawin ang number 5 ko. na-tempt akong imbis na 2SGD chip ang ilagay, 25SGD na lang. pero nagpigil ako. sayang naman ang 25. pinigilan din ako ni wawin na tumaya sa single number, bagkus ay inudyok nya akong tumaya sa 1 to 6. ibig sabihin, mas mataas ang chance na manalo pero mas mababa ang premyo. fine. sige malas nga ako diba?

boom! lumabas ang 5! "akalain mo?" yan na lang ang nasabi ni wawin. hahaha. jackpot na sana :p as i say, malas ako!

wawin's toinks moment:
kuya: o ito ang roulette... blah blah blah
wawin (bumulong sa akin): roulette? yun ba yung russian roulette?
ako: win, may baril ata yung russian roulette e. hahaha!

so magkano ang nalustay?
caths: 100 (entrance) + 50 (bets) = 150
wawin: 50 (bets) = 50
kuya: bawi lang (bets) = 0
april: 100 (entrance) + bawi lang (bets) = 100

ayus. pwede na rin ;) uulit ka pa? hindi na po :)