nag-iisa't walang makasama

my brothers were out again. this meant i had to eat all by myself for lunch. i don't mind being alone anymore. got used to it somehow.

for a change, i didn't settle with take-away salat und jogurt that i had to eat at my desk. work load wasn't something i couldn't handle today so i told myself i will have a good, long walk and eat a good meal if i find one place i fancy.

the sun was out! perfect for a walk, though i could still feel the cold wind seeping through my soul. this place is not for humans. this is for penguins! hehe.

and there it was, a diner that looked ok. i badly wanted shawarma but i thought it would be hard to eat it. i am an overly self-conscious person! it's a struggle for me to be alone in public places. i know, i'm weird!

flashback (complete with stardust): the only time i remember i ate alone in public was in atc (during college), while waiting for kuya to fetch me. i had a few hours to kill and i had no choice but to eat alone.

going back to the present time (complete with stardust):
so i had pasta, very convenient to eat! i wasn't at ease for the full 20-ish minutes i was eating. but i made it! i got out and strolled on the sunny street again, like i was the breeze!

when i got back to my work area, i felt very accomplished. i seriously think this is just my 2nd time to eat alone in public (pangatlo ang meryenda ko sa starbucks while waiting for jan and marco). i'll probably have more of this in my lifetime. better start early!

sometimes it's good to eat alone (twice on the same day)

feel na feel ko ang pagiging mag-isa ko ngayong araw na ito. tinawagan ko si kuya marco at ate jan pagdating ko ng bahnhofstrasse. malayo-layo pa sila so sabi ko, stroll muna ako under the christmas lights. enjoy na enjoy ang bata, hanggang nafeel kong todo lamig na! at nag-uubo ako nang walang pasintabi. susme. parang tatrangkasuhin ang pakiramdam ko. nakakita ako ng starbucks at nagmistulang refuge ko ito. hehe. arte.

masarap ang ham and cheese nila. partneran mo ng hot choco. parang meryenda lang sa kanto. :) ayan nasasanay na talaga akong kumain mag-isa. hehehe.

the closest i could get to having that christmas feeling...

is going to bahnhofstrasse and seeing some of the christmas lights ablaze. it's still a bit dull compared to the manila atmosphere, but it's good enough to stir up some christmas spirit!

another moment with me, myself, and i... while waiting for jan and marco :)

sometimes it's good to eat alone

slowly overcoming my fear and disgust of eating alone... :)

sun peeks...

spotted: sun peeking through the gap of 2 buildings. taken during a good time walking alone. i realized lunch time is the only time i could feel the sun!

walking alone

this was my good walk for lunch. i love the time alone and the sunshine!

i get nervous when

people find trivial stuff and make a big fuss about it

people start pointing their fingers on someone - even if it's just a guess. see, a guess could still be wrong!

people start raising their voices

others join the frenzy and talk in equally booming voices

-- as if it's a contest and the louder you talk, the more points you earn

people's sense of hearing is temporarily shut down, the objective is to fire more words in the shortest possible time

and no one wants to concede and admit he's wrong

and people start going to other people's desks digging for evidence

and all i could do is munch on my gum and sync this chewing sound in my ears to the music playing on my player

sometimes i get out of beat... but i pick up just to ease the tension

i am nervous. as i said before, mana ako sa lola kong nerbyosa!

what's good, though, is they go back to their normal bubbly personas after the 8-hour work window. hehe. all good? later maybe

sun peeks...

spotted: sun peeking through the clouds and through my bedroom window. i love it when the sun is this active! :)

yummy

after devouring on the dark side photo museum, we found this cozy coffee shop across the street.

jan i had yummy brownies with chocolate powder and slices of kiwi on top! i've never tasted anything like it (a bit royce-like, i think). i just love it!

it matched perfectly with my hot chocolate-coffee.


good stuff = happy caths. with flowers pa!

dark side

last nov 7, jan and i had another brilliant impromptu move: we went to see the dark side photo museum in winterthur. we saw the museum ad from a magazine while eating in a diner one night.

it was called dark side. and dark it was! dark because the photos they featured are meant to stay in the dark crevices of the mind only. hehehe! it featured photos ranging from fetishes to preferences to desires that were lewd in nature.

of course, they say it's art. ok, but i was a bit shocked with some of the photos. i've never seen such vulgar views!

it was a good experience, though. :) recommendable...

sun peeks...

spotted: sun peeking somewhere in winterthur. :) gotcha!

sun peeks...

i love it when the sun peeks like this!
pic taken somewhere in winterthur when jan and i went to the dark side photo museum.

chocolate

it's a mystery why i seldom buy coffee from starbucks
i gulp down hot choco instead ;p
mind you, it has to be hot and not iced
caramel is a wonderful treat too!

pic taken from starbucks in oerlikon
while waiting for jan
wonder why?
we have only one key to the house
(back then)
now, we have two!

i love hot choco!

jogurt

i love jogurt!

is-now

pic taken from my room window on the first fall of snow. keputi :)

swim under the snow

the weekend was a lazy one. saturday was snowy. we just went for groceries and fought with the snow on our way back home. the rest of the day was spent lazily on bed (playing with my new addiction: weff [thanks to ate josh for introducing]).

sunday was sunny but was still too cold. we were very lazy until kuya bem and tope and kuya jun and ate fritzie and chloe invited us in an indoor swimming pool in rapperswil. swimming is my weakness and no amount of cold could hinder me from having fun in the water. :) it was indoor anyway, so how cold could it be?

it was actually a paradise! i could compare it to ace water spa in the philippines, but this is way much better! they have a pool with big waves - where i drank 100 liters of water :-S but it was all worth the chlorine-y water intake. hehe!

next stop was the outdoor pool. outdoor ba kamo? yep! it was, but the water's too hot you wouldn't feel the biting cold temp outside the water. haay sarap.

then we moved on to the medicated pool. i don't know what stuff they put in there but the water was salty and it sure felt good on the skin. i'm guessing my facial pores all exploded and out came the eeky white heads. haha. so what else is in that pool? :)

they also had these awesome slides. maybe we tried 6 out of 10 and it was pure fun - with all variations of shrieks that i could make. hehe.

and there was the pool that was a quasi-river... literally, you should go with the flow! :) i'm a dead fish naturally and this is a good moment for me.

and then there was snow. :) it started snowing when we were on the outdoor pool. it was very relaxing just lying on the water, gazing up the sky, with flakes falling on your face. almost looked like stars :)

sana ganun lang ang buhay. palangoy-langoy lang, parang walang problema! hehe. on a side note: bakit ang daming nag chuchukchakang labers? gas! so kainggit ha! with the hug hug and kiss kiss atbp. so what else is in that water?!?

it was a perfect way to end the weekend. when we got home, the streets were all covered with snow. picture ever! kaaliw. and then we were dead to the world in our deepest slumbers. saya!

kambal tuko

yes, these crazy girls have identical jackets. we bought it a few months ago. and what's inside the paper bags?

almost the same black jackets. sheesh. these crazy girls!

waiting in vain for my train

@ altstetten train station
waiting for my 5-minute train going home to oerlikon

sunny and tomato-ey at 8 deg

scott and paul and i invented a game that we play everyday. it's called "guess the temperature" haha. saya diba?! pagbigyan. walang mapagkalibangan!

when we buy lunch, we go by the bus stop - there's a board there that says what the temperature is. so we make our most intelligent guesses and then happily check the temp and pat the winner on the back.

scott always wins. but hey, i've had a few lucky guesses! coming from one of the warmer havens on earth, i'm not that bad! :)

today, i said 10 deg because i didn't really feel it was that cold. scott guessed 7. it was 8 deg. he won again. he said i was deceived by the sun! can you believe that, the sun here actually did its job today, that is, to keep me warm. :)

i don't mind being deceived by the sun everyday. it makes me happy. :)

and then off to lunch. i had the usual salad. this time i had the one with the cheese and cherry tomatoes and italian dressing. i love those cherry tomatoes!

scott told me i should try the tomato juice for drinks. he said this goes very good with worcestershire sauce and pepper. weird, i thought. being the kaladkarin me, i said ok.

he paid for the stuff and i put them in my bag. mabigat ang tomato juice. lalo kung ikaw lahat ang magdadala ng 3 pakete. nakngweteng. hahaha. pinawisan ako! di nyo ba alam na payat ako?! hahaha.

and last stop was the fruit stall across migros. bought a couple of bananas. mukhang healthy na ang lunch ko. let me be. it won't last long. when i go back to sg, dating gawi. taba ng baboy kung taba ng baboy. balat ng manok kung balat ng manok. hehe.

so all of those mentioned above are now in my tummy. yum! i'm so full! all those healthy stuff! hahaha. kunwari! hmm, i loved the tomato juice! mistulang naging bar ang office namin habang may-i-timpla sya ng tomato juice. hahaha. sarap! magawa sa bahay.

hmm... ang haba ng kwento ko. ganun talga. 'di gumagana ang mga sistema kaya, medyo malaya tayo. hehe!

uy… medyo nagtatago naman ang araw. wala namang ganyanan!

personification

draft found from last Friday… one of those sad days…

the sun was out this morning. not completely, but it's the best sunshine i've seen for days. on my way to work, i saw the reflection of the sunlight on glass windows of houses. it was a marvellous sight. just a faint light but very, very pleasing to the eyes. he's being playful as sometimes he'll hide, at times he'll show up.

we went to our usual lunch spot: migros. bought some food and went back to the office. it was a good walk. the cold temperature at 9 deg overpowers the sun, but it's good to have a feel of that golden sun on my skin.

from where i came from, we have a real sun - haring araw ang tawag namin sa kanya. the one here almost feels so artificial. he must be sick and needs his regular dose of vitamins.

2:50pm. we have a glass wall at the left side of this office. i was enjoying the view until it got all gloomy and sad.

the clouds have a heavy burden, they're all pouting and ready to cry - almost, but not crying at all.

the trees are swaying faintly. surely they need jackets with this bitter, cold wind. especially now, they're losing all their leaves. what a pitiful sight. what's once lush is now barren and lifeless. almost scary.

i don't like it when the weather is all sad… it affects me, you see. :(

all you need is...

all you need is...

salat und jogurt

i saw this draft from thursday. posting now...

salamat sa yahoo babelfish, nai-salin ko sa german and tanghalian kong salad at yogurt. hehe parang ang layo e no. salat lang din naman at jogurt. kunwari healthy. wala lang talagang makaing ok. mag-isa lang akong kumain ngayon.

ako ay ipinatapon sa malayong tanggapan ng ubs sa altstetten. malayo na ako sa mga babae ko. ang mga barkada ko rito ay sina scott at paul - mga kapangkat ko rin sa proyekto ko. para kaming 3 itlog, lagi kaming magkasama mananghalian. duguan na ang ilong ko kaka-inggles at malapit na rin siguro akong maging lalaki. minsan, kapatid na ang turingan namin. susme. pero ngayon, wala sila. kaya ako lang ang lumabas sa nangangagat na lamig upang bumili ng tanghalian ko.

kaunti lang ang pwedeng kainan dito:
1. coop - maliit na grocery na may mga salad, tinapay, mga tipikal na lunch nila dito.
2. migros - grocery rin ito na may mga tekaway na pagkain. maraming pagpipilian, pero medyo malayong lakarin.
3. scent of bamboo - thai na kainan na 'di masyadong maraming pagpipilian pero ok na rin naman... ngunit 'di sya yung totoong mapapa-aww ka sa sarap.
4. kantina ng ubs - dito lang ako nakakita ng kantina na iba ang presyo ng regular at eksternal na empleyado. kawawa ang eksternal - kami yun. dahil mas mahal ang presyuhan. so ayaw nilang kumain dito. alangan kumain ako dito mag-isa?!
5. chinese - mayron ding chinese pero 'di masyadong masarap. sinubukan ko ang bibe nila. mukang di sariwa ang lasa.
6. mcdo - medyo malayo mag bus ka pa. isang beses pa lang kami nakakain dito tekaway pa.

dun ako bumili sa coop ngayon. ok naman busog na ako sa tanghalian kong salat und jogurt. bow.

cjm

c - caths

j - jan

m - marco

that fateful day, 24th of april 2007, my destiny intertwined with two great beings' destinies - janise and marco.

a few days prior to my flight to sg, donna gave me marco's ym id. they were colleagues from misys. i asked marco about his flight details and i was hoping i could meet him outside the building on the first day so we could go up together. i am the i-need-a-buddy-anywhere-i-go type of person. we agreed to meet at the escalator.

when kuya brought me to suntec tower 5 on my first day at work in singapore, i saw a pinay sitting on one of the benches outside the building. she must be janise, i thought. honestly, i was a bit shy (read: afraid) as i found her mataray ;p i didn't approach her.

a few days later, we were a team. we make each other laugh. yes, even at the corniest blows. we share secrets. we give pieces of advice - solicited or not. we have opinions for everything and each one is entitled, more of obliged, to share his/her mind contents. every opinion, be it wicked or witty or goody, is appreciated and respected.

we worked together in one project for a couple of weeks. there was good rapport. at least that's what i think. i hope they agree. ;p

we flock together in good times. we flock together in bad times. hey, we have the same feathers! how could we forget this one incident when we were stripped off of every ounce of dignity we had? hahaha! yes, i could laugh at it now. it was our defense moment. we were defending something. if we didn't, we're dead. double dead. triple dead. but everything is fine now. maybe we have earned someone's trust and respect somehow.

if caths or jan or marco has a heavy load, this calls for an opinionated session. we could have it anywhere. we could sit and talk over cups of coffee. this is the comfy style. or we could sit together on a bench that's built for just 2 persons. this is the pathetic style. my point is, we don't choose a perfect venue. anywhere is ok as long as we could talk and laugh.

they are two of the "easiest" persons i know. easy because we agree about things, no explanation needed. easy because we jive. easy because we are all equally crazy.

when we learned that they need staff in zurich, we prayed hard that it will be the three of us together. we knew we had to pray hard because we thought then it was impossible. they choose based on the project that we work on and there is no immediate need for marco's project.

what do you know? prayers are indeed answered as marco is coming tomorrow. :) we were crazily harmonious as friends. we were harmoniously crazy as teammates. we'll see if we'll be just as good if we become house mates. hehehe!

see you tomorrow, marco! cjm reunite! let's volt in!

cjm, from right to left ;p

medley

i will never understand the reason why
we fail to learn from our mistakes
i will wait for you as the days go by
with my dream - though I am wide awake
-wide awake-

yesterday,
love was such an easy game to play,
now I need a place to hide away,
oh, I believe in yesterday
-yesterday-

but you can say baby
baby can I hold you tonight
maybe if I told you the right words
at the right time you'd be mine
-baby can i hold you tonight-

officially announcing that this is warfare
'cause back in the day my clouds was grey
and it seemed like my angels couldn't blow them away
-can i have it like that-

i can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
i can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,
-i'd rather-

five songs that randomly played on my player... now i'm sad... :(

conclusion

this is the last drama post, i hope.

gusto ko lang sabihing sayang.

hindi rin siguro. pero... sayang pa rin.

on dramatic actors

susme, naglabasan ang mga diether, jericho, philip, jomari, mark anthony, at pati si dolphy ngayong weekend.

tama na ang drama, mga kuya. baka 'di enough ang mga award para sa inyong lahat.

'di pa masyadong nag sink in sa 'kin pero sana mafeel ko na para matapos na. and sana this is it. Lord, make me strong. ayaw ko na po e.

i told you so

you have to learn your lessons the hard way. yes, there will always be tears and a splitting headache after all the drama. you can't hide your swollen eyes behind your glasses.

you have to swallow the bitter consequences... mothers do know best. mothers are the ultimate gurus. every mother should be enthroned on a pedestal. they are simply wise.

all secrets will be brought to the open. beware! so if you were asked a question, don't lie. if you can't control it, you are probably ill - make that sick - and you need professional help.

once a maggot, always a maggot. they may grow wings and fly, but they're disgusting flies just the same - not much difference with the maggot they once were. once a maggot, always a maggot.

when you are offered all sorts of glittery, sparkling niceties, ask why. this is usually the work of the devil. devils are not good. obviously.

not all tears are real. that's why there are artists. come on, you are not diet. you are not kristine.

two is a bad number. it means game over.

this is definitely bad karma at its finest... or worst?

lightning never strikes twice in the same place. it strikes thrice (or more). every bolt hurts like crazy. nobody knows if you'll ever be numb if you get it that often.

i told you so. i know, i hate it.