3 decades

i owe myself a record of this...

i'm 30!!!!!!! i turned 30 four days ago. while others may look at it like a ticking bomb that's ready to blow up any minute, i felt like it's one of the sweetest moments in my life. no, i didn't have a bonggang-bonggang party. i didn't go anywhere extravagant. i didn't receive expensive gifts. nothing fancy. nothing worldly. nothing superficial.

two weeks before my birthday, i felt like i was a gumamela that lost 2 of its petals. mommy and wawin left for manila. what was left was a gumamela with 3 precious petals - kuya, april, keylabachoy. still it's a wonderful gumamela.

one week before my birthday, i was elated for 5 precious days: spent with my soon-to-be asawa. eventually he had to leave and i felt alone again.

a few days before my birthday, i'm worrying about a lot of things. i guess i was born to worry.

i don't know what hit me. on the eve of my birthday, i just felt so happy and loved and blessed! i have never felt so content in my life and it's the best birthday gift i've ever received - happiness.

i wanted to take the day off on my birthday. i can't. i just worked from home so i can be off by 5pm and hear mass. there was a burning desire in me to hear mass. during the past years, i felt very lazy to hear mass on my birthday. this year was different. i wanted to really have a date with the Lord, see Him face to face and simply say, "Dear bro, thank You for the gift of life. thank you for giving me all that i need and more. i haven't even asked and here You are, sketching the most perfect blue print that is my life."

i could have died when i was 14. my life could have just ended then if my purpose here on earth is done. i was blessed with 16 more years and all the beautiful moments overshadow the trivial, painful ones.

here are the highlights of my 30th year of existence:

• being far away again from mommy and erwin made me realize that love CAN and DOES exist despite the distance.
• mommy gave me a pair of dangling pearl earrings - one that i could use everyday and i love it!
• i had a sneak preview of what it would be like having your partner close to you. as i said, this is mike's best visit so far. so peaceful!
• mike gave me 3 blouses and, beat this, 6 hankies! which he picked himself! he normally would have asked tita to pick his gifts for me (or for anybody).
• i got to blow my birthday eve blueberry-cheesecake-birthday-cake that's specially delivered by kuya, april, keylabachoy.
• my ubs family gave me an oh so touching card that contained messages from people that i don't treat as co-workers but friends.
• facebook and sms greetings - i treat them seriously! i feel it's something you could read on days you are low. it's a reminder that you are somehow remembered once a year!
• i felt a hunger to meet the Lord and speak with Him!
• i was at peace!

so yes, it was all perfect! happy birthday! literally! yahoo!