pwede pong bumati?

happy birthday sa lola ko sa mindoro nung dec. 8. mami yan ng mami ko. happy birthday, lola! labyu! see you next summer!

happy birthday din pala sa pinsan ko si ate aileen nung dec. 9. first cousin ko yan sa mother side. happy birthday pinsan!

chaka pala birthday din sa pinakamamahal kong mikey nung dec. 10. hamberdeybebe! labyu! babuy! lab mo ko?

tapos, tapos, si aira birthday din nung dec. 11. gf ng kuya ko yan. happy birthday, girl. fly high. be happy.

isa pa sa dec. 11 yung first cousin ko rin sa father side si ate elaine... preggy na nga pala sya, first sa camacho cousins na preggy.

tapos sa dec. 12 naman, syempre mami ko. pwede bang di ko batiin yan?!? happy birthday, mami! love ya so! mwah!

tapos last na.. may time pa ba? last na. yung inaanak ko sa dec. 13. si brenna. happy birthday brenna!

* super last na... si lola floring pala death anniversary rin nung dec. 10. rest in peace lola wherever you are! miss ya! mama ng papa ko yan.

uy may isa pa pala... sa dec. 14 birthday ng pamangkin ni maricor, si lance. happy birthday lance. makulit yan na cute hihi.

yun lang po salamat!

someday ni nina

Someday you’re gonna realize
One day you’ll see this though my eyes
By then I won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared
I know you don’t really see my worth
You think you’re the best guy on earth
Well I’ve got news for you
I know I’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long

Someday someone’s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone’s gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
Someday someday

Right now I know you can tell
I’m down and I’m not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won’t have to cry, sweet goodbye

maganda sana ang melody. sinulat daw ni nyoy para kay nina. hindi masyadong angkop sa kanila kse sila diba? pero bakit ang sad ng song?
akala ko nung una, it's a bitter song... tipong guy leaves girl and girl is in the process of healing. hindi pala. parang nagbabadyang mag byebye si girl pero bumubwelo pa lang hehehe. di pa kse kaya. parang... hintay ka lang... soon... kaya ko na. hehehe. coolness. pero ang sad. :(

ending the year right

our house is a mess. we had a picture taken in front of the house some weeks ago, and in the picture, we saw a house that looks dilapidated hahaha. more like a haunted house. so my mom thought it was about time to have the front part fixed. the plan was only to change the ceilings since they were kind of dangling loose. also, the walls and roof have to be repainted because what's left of the off-white paint is just off LOL.

a can of worms was opened, though. and a simple repair isn't going to happen. apparently, the whole of the roof/ceiling part must be changed because termites left merely a skeleton of the supporting lumber. sheesh. so there, for more than a week now, our front yard (?) is a complete mess, just in time for Reming season (may their souls RIP) i guess. a few more pieces should be in place this afternoon, and then just the paint and we're ready for the christmas decors.

while we're at the mess part, we're also trying to get rid of the clutter inside the house. i rummaged through my closet this morning and i filled a whole trashbag (size: large, color: light yellow) with rubbish. i can't believe i've been keeping those trash for almost a decade now. some notebooks date back to high school! some were notes during college and some were from spi. i'm really a sentiment freak. i don't even look at them, why keep them? i say throw them all away. my neighbor knows a recycling shop nearby so all those junk will have a bright future ahead of them. good for them. :) and good for us too. just a good way to end the year. rubbish-free. :)

if not time, then attention... if not attention, then what?

...

on candles

minsan, ang kandila hyper. matindi magningas. siguro dahil dun sa mahabang mitsa. ang liwanag! ang laki ng apoy. parang nagsasayaw. malikot. masigasig. kahit merong hanging bumubuga-buga, hindi madaling mamatay. ganadong ganadong mag give light at magningning! kelangan mo ng todong effort to make a big blow bago sya ma-dead.

minsan naman, ang kandila low batt. siguro dahil halos parang nilalamon na ng kandila yung mitsa. yumyum ba. todo flicker weakly ang light. will it die? or will it not die? kahit anong gawin mong takip at pag-iwas sa hangin, wala, namamatay din. minsan nga, ayaw na sumindi e. in that case, useless na ang kandila. patapon na.

pero 'di naman laging hopeless case yun e pag ayaw sumindi. minsan kelangan mo sunugin yung kandila mismo para lumabas yung mitsa... remedyo ba. ganun naman ang buhay eh. remedyuhan lang ang mga pagkukulang, tapos ok na ulit. tapos, liliwanag na ulit. minsan. minsan, hindi rin.

what's with the candle? ewan ko. parang ako siguro...

survey

1.anong gusto mong itawag sa iyo?
- caths, cat

2.anong oras kang natutulog sa gabi?
- sa umaga, 11am

3.ano gusto mo, sports o arts?
- pareho

4.ilang beses kang kumain sa isang araw?
- three..

5. ano ang nagpapasaya sa araw mo?
- maliliit na bagay, malalaking bagay na kasiya-siya

6. umiinom ka ba ng beer?
- pwede na rin

7. madali ka bang masaktan?
- super

8. pano ka nagpapapansin sa crush mo?
- hihi... i'm too shy to let him know i exist

9. mahal mo ba kaibigan mo?
- butopkors

10. wat turns u off?
- mayabang

11. naranasan mo na bang magmahal ng isang
tao na d ka mahal?
- yuh

12. sa tingin mo ba meron kang secret
admirer?
- wala siguro

13. panu mo malalaman kung mahal mo na?
- pag naiinis na ko pag di sya nagpaparamdam

14. close ka ba sa mommy mo?
- yuf

15. eh mga kapatid mo?
- uu

16. ano fave mong gawin kapag may free time
ka?
- makinig music, manood tv, mag internet

17.masasabi mo bang kumpleto na ang buhay
mo ngayon?
- there are certain things na medyo kulang pa pero pwede namang wala. :) ibigay or hindi, hindi sasama ang loob ko hihi. ay kulang pa pala... wala pa kong anak e

18. masarap bang magmahal?
- soper

19. pano ka magselos?
- "sige kayo na lang kaya?!? babye" sabay irap

apart but not torn apart

wishing you all the best in life... wishing you all the best in love. i swear, i wouldn't approve of long distance relationships ever. but there's no guarantee that what happened to me will happen to juan and maria. :)

maybe there's a love that gets weak over time. maybe there's a love that doesn't get contented and wanders away. maybe it's not love after all. but there's also a love that's as sturdy as bamboo, just sways along with the challenges and gets stronger in the midst of chaos.

being apart doesn't necessarily mean you'll be torn apart. it's just a phase. i'll be there with you in your happy ending... and maybe, eveybody might just live happily ever after... distance or no distance. together forever. dick and carmi. whatever.

moments and oh moments

multinational village trip/lcg renewal

mark, ate estrella, joycha, and i headed to the holy eucharist parish in moonwalk for the yearly lcg renewal. we decided to just hail a tricycle and use the multinational village route to get there instead of the longer way - via sucat road. so we asked this tricycle driver if he knew where the holy eucharist parish was. he said yes. we took the long journey. after many lefts and rights, we realized we're kinda lost and that manong tric didn't know where we were going. syet. anyway, we found the church at long last and we were still early for the event.

the seminar was rather informative, not really boring. thanks to the good speaker and good company, everything went out well.

oh moment: oh! i saw monty in the rest room! i didn't know she was in the lcg. it was good to see her. :)

ang pananghalian (or merienda na?)

it was mikey's mom's and dad's birthday party last saturday. mom and i were invited. i got home from the renewal at around 1230 and mom and i rushed to imus for the lunch. yes, lunch at 2pm. the food was great. the people were great. and it was a heart-warming sight to see mikey introduce my mom and i to his relatives. there were good realizations and it's nice to hear those words from my mom.

oh moment: oh! i finally met the friend - M... the famous M. i don't know what to say. pleased to meet you? maybe.

ang handaan ni donya mary

lola mary, our fammily friend and neighbor, celebrated her 75th birthday in the magsaysay hall along roxas boulevard. it was a sosyaling event. all her siblings from the states were there to grace the event. she looked really elegant in her maroon beaded gown. but what is elegance without bliss? with all her family and friends there, i could testify that she IS happy that night. when (and IF) i turn 75, i want to be as happy as donya mary. :)

oh moment: wala naman hehe.

manibela at ligaw

wawin gave me driving lessons yesterday. sa multi sana, kaso this manong rude guard didn't let us go in the village. fine. iyo na yan. we went to manila memorial instead. first to visit papa-yo and lolo-yo and lola-yo and then to practice driving na. yes. very "challenging" ang lesson na ito. bwahaha ... practice na practice. manila memorial ba naman e. sus. and then we headed off to fort estate to get kuya's atm from lui.

oh moment: oh syet! naligaw kami! as in super ligaw. do maps expire? hahaha expired na ata ang map namin. or hindi lang kami marunong tumingin... syet na map yan.

on dreams and visions

i've had surreal dreams for the past three nights. the dreams range from peaceful calamities (however weird that sounds), to getting lost, to making out (that's not weird), to asking favors from a city mayor who used to be a chicharong bulaklak vendor, to switching mothers, and to solitaires in a wooden house.

weird dreams aren't destructive, i think, but a regular dose of them doesn't put me in a feel-good state either. i woke up in a rather uneasy and heavy state for the past three days... which later on resulted to headeaches. argh.

for that reason, i now keep track of my dreams. who knows, somebody is trying to tell me something... when i wake up, i get my cell phone and jot down keywords of the dreams i had and then when i get to the office (talagang sa office ginagawa ito e no!), i make a detailed account of the dream... voila, a dream blog. make that a secret dream blog. who would ever be interested in reading somebody else's dreams and subconscious contents (or crap?!)? hehe.

There's a Right Time for Everything

There's an opportune time to do things,
a right time for everything on the earth:

A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 The Message

... my question, though, is when? :(

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on river wild and laser discs

monday morning, nothing to do, chanced upon river wild showing on hbo. and i was instantly glued to the couch/tv screen. it was a film i've seen so many years ago... roughly more than 10 years ago! i was so young then! it's a good film - heart pumping and adventurous. and i read just now that meryl streep did most of her stunts in that film. amazing actress. if i were trapped in that situation? what would i have done? sus... parang ang lakas ko e no!



speaking of ages ago, i recall this was one of the films i've seen on laser disc pa! it was the hype after the betamax and vhs eras. according to wikipedia, "The laserdisc (LD) was the first commercial optical disc storage medium, and is used primarily for the presentation of movies." ok very informative hahaha! well, i remember it looked like a compact disk, only it wasn't compact! LOL! actually it was about a foot in diameter! geez! this medium was gigantic! and the only laserdisc rental place i know back then was in makati cinema square! and papa would bring home these square silver plastic bags that contained the dozens of laser discs he rented from that shop. was it apple or the logo was apple? something like that...

my father was an advocate of home-viewing and super loud sound systems. the funny thing is, our neighborhood is infested by millions of tricycles and i swear, when we're viewing a film at home, you could forget about the irritating tricycle sounds! my papa's sound system could be heard even from a good distance hahaha!

happy shalala

di naman mukhang happyng happy si kuya hehe... this is the usual weekend setup, a family conference call via skype. kulitan lang. kumustahan. hehe.

we miss this guy so much.

survey #13

1. In one sentence, explain what ended your last relationship:
-infidelity

2. What made you smile today?
-hmm... talking with mikey about timpi

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
-talking with mom

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
-sleeping

5. Something that happened to you in 1986?
-my baby brother was born

6. Your prom night?
-hmmm... overnight with kada

7. Last thing someone else said to you?
-"sabihin ko hinahanap mo?"

8. What was your answer?
-sige

9. Worst thing currently on television:
-ewan

10. What was in the mail today?
-bills

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
-2 lang

12. What is your favorite part of the day?
-sunrise... and i don't see it often

13. Your current To-do list?
-hmm... mag test

14. Where is your best friend right now?
-ewan ko

15. What color is your toothbrush?
-green

17. Any plans for Friday night?
-wala e. pumasok

18. Least favorite place to shop?
-hmmm... dunno

19. things you bought today?
-chicken mcdo

20. Last gift you received?
-hikaw

21. Funniest thing that happened all day?
-walang funny

22. Favorite mug?
-wala rin

23. What color is your front door?
-brown

24. Describe your keychain:
-silver sya

26. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
-sunny

27. Last ice cream flavor?
-buko pandan? yak

28. Last rainbow you saw
-a few months ago

29. Something you are excited about?
-my christmas vaca!

survey #12

THE PAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU.

1.) Cried:
-no

2.) Worn jeans:
-yep

3.) Met someone:
-ay wala

4.) Done laundry:
-no

5.) Talked on the phone:
-yeba

6.) Kissed someone:
-no... ang tagal na!

7.) Said I love you:
-yeah

DO YOU BELiEVE iN

8.) Yourself:
-sometimes

9.) Your friends:
-yes

10.) Tooth Fairy:
-no

11.) Second chances:
-no... a big no

FRiENDS AND LiFE

12.) Do you ever wish you had another name?
-no

13.) Do your friends like you?
-sabi nila... like ko rin sila hihi

14.) Which one of your friends acts the most like you?
-hmmm... most of them are like me.. tawa nang tawa

15.) What's the best feeling in the world?
-being with someone you love

WHiCH iS BETTER

16.) Chocolate or vanilla?
-chocolate

17.) Coke or Pepsi:
-coke

18.) Love or Lust:
-pareho hihi

19.) Sprite or 7UP:
-Sprite

21.) Blonde Guys or Brunette Guys:
-ayaw

23.) Movies or Dinners:
-movies

24.) Night or Day:
-gabi

THE LAST TiME YOU

28.) Showered:
-10/18 7pm

29.) Cried:
-last week?

WHO

30.) Makes you smile?
-marami

31.) Who makes you laugh no matter what:
-hmmm... marami rin

32.) Has a crush on you:
-ewan

33.) Are you in love right now?:
-yea

DO YOU EVER

34.) Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call?
-yup

35.) Save IM conversations:
-hmmm.. work related lang

36.) Wish you were someone else:
-nope

37.) Wish you were a member of the opposite sex:
no. eeww

39.) Got online for longer than eight hours at a time
yeba

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON

40.) That you saw.?
-maricor?

41.) You talked to?:
-maricor

42.) You hugged?:
-mikey?

43.) You instant messaged?:
-jana

44.) You messaged on myspace?:
-si eric?

45.) You yelled at?:
-hmmm. win

46.) You thought about?:
-si win

47.) You loved?:
-si mikey

DO YOU?

48.) Color your hair?:
-no

49.) Have tattoos?:
-ala

50.) Have piercings?:
-thenga lang

51.) Own more than 10 pairs of flip flops?
-hindi

52.) Like someone?
-yeah

53.) Hate someone?
-oo ata eh

54.) Have any money on you?
-yeah

55.) Play any sports?
-no ngayon

survey #11

ten ten ten

TEN EMOTIONS.
1. are you missing someone right now? yes
2. are you happy? yes
3. are you talking to anyone right now? sa ym
4. are you bored? and sleepy
5. are you german? no
6. are you irish? no
7. are you spanish? no
8. are you asian? yes
9. are your parents still married? pag byuda si mama, married pa rin ba yun?


TEN FAVORITES.
1. televison show: prison break!
2. flower: roses na lang
3. color: lilac
4. sport: swimming
5. mall: kahit saan
6. music: depende rin sa mood
7. food: may sabaw, pagkaing pampista hehe
8. seasons? summer!
9. animal: dog
10. state: ewan

TEN FACTS.
1. hometown: parañaque
2. hair color: brown
3.perfume: light blue
4. hair style: layered?
5. eye color: brown
6. shoe size: 5
7. mood: sleepy
8. skin color: brown?
10. lefty/righty: righty

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

1. have you ever been in love? uu
2. do you believe in love? oo nman
3. are you taken? oo?
4. have you ever been heartbroken? yup
5. have you ever broken someone's heart? i don't know baka kebs lang haha
6. have you ever fallen for one of your best friends? nung nakaraan, oo
7. have you ever liked someone but never told them? yes... sniff
8. are you afraid of commitment? hindi naman
9. has someone ever kissed your hand? yes
10. have you ever had a secret admirer? hewan ko

TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT.
1. love or trust: hmmm... pareho siguro
2. hard liquor or beer: hard
3. night or day: day
4. one night stands or relationships: relationships
5. television or internet: internet
6. pepsi or coke: coke
7. wild night out or romantic night in: wild night out
8. colored pictures or black and white colored
9. phone or in person: in person
10. friendster or myspace: friendster

TEN HAVE Y0U EVER's.
1. have you ever been caught sneaking out? no
2. have you ever skinny dipped? oh yeah! the best!
3. have you ever done something you regret? yes
4. have you ever bungee jumped? i'd love to
5. have you ever been on a house boat? not yet
6. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker? huh?
7. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt? yes
9. have you ever danced in the rain? yes!
10. have you ever had a hang over? hindi pa ata

getting better

history 101: i never had problems getting along with the ex's mother-father-brother-sister-how-do-you-brush-your-teeth a.k.a FAMILY. in fact, up to now, i still get in touch with the mother - i more fondly call nanay. i got along well, in fact, i felt really accepted and loved and wanted from the first time we met up to this moment. the father is a seaman and is super maboka and funny man.

with the current: the mother is a-ok, equally welcoming and heart-warming as the ex's mother and i feel like i've known her for the longest time. the father? is a seaman and is currently home for a couple of months. i was certain i didn't want to meet him. thanks to the current's (na itatago ko sa pangalang mikey) not-so-positive feedback about him.

i was afraid to meet him for the first time 3 weeks ago. i was terrified that i might be rejected and unwanted. whoever wants to feel rejected? i asked, "pwede bang wag ko na lang sya i-meet?" i felt i just might cry of humiliation if i were shown even a tiny hint of rejection or i-don't-want-you-looks. and he said, "out of the question"... yeah i know. i had to meet him. really, really had to meet him.

so for 3 consecutive weekends, i was meeting with the parents (particularly with the father). here are some signs things are getting better... from good, that is. :)

weekend 1: i felt there was a high level of ilang factor. i was addressed indirectly, as if speaking with me, but statements were coursed via the mother and the son... he couldn't call me by name... hahaha! as in he was referring to me as "ano". super funny. i wasn't offended but i felt equally ilang. i think i understand where he's coming from - having to meet his only son's girlfriend for the first time. no sour faces though. which was really good... more of ilang lang siguro and shy.

weekend 2: getting a little at ease... he called me catherine. full name. the only times i'm called catherine: a. job interview, b. business matters at work, c. the newest addition to the list - when meeting the bf's father for the first time. haha! nick names could come later. i didn't remember if we had a direct conversation, but things were definitely more comfortable this time around. now, i have a name. i'm not "ano" anymore.

weekend 3: hey, he spoke with me! for a couple of times! and i'm positive he addressed those statements to me directly! nice. and he called me cat! now, that's what i call super heart-warming...

i wanted to make pingot mikey for scaring me about this whole meet-my-dad-thing. he's not stern as i thought he might be. in fact i think he's really nice. i'm not the maboka and ma p.r. type, but i slowly manage to be in good terms with the dad - who's someone like me too, i guess... not too much of the talkies type... but not rude. i'm not certain what things run through his head, but i'd rather not know. for now, i'm contented with the positive signals he's showing me. after all, the son says, "like ka nya". and that's all i need to hear and know. :)

busy no more - for a while

for the past few weeks, we've been pretty hyped up at the office. tasks here and there... make that super urgent tasks. can't eat on time, can't have rest room breaks, can't chat, can't do any thing that's outside the scope of work. hehe. too bad.

today is a new day, the major task was put on hold to, first of all, gather the correct requirements from the client... which should have been the first step. hehehe.

oh well... a couple of flashbacks:

how i felt so terrified to meet someone for the first time. i was hoping i could get away with it, not meet him at all, but the day came and we had to meet. he referred to me as "ano". as in, "ihahatid pa natin si ano". i wanted to laugh out loud, but thought it was better not to. harharhar... last sunday, he was able to utter my name - which is a good progress. we'll see.

wawin is the family driver now. make that family student driver :) kuya has been gone for a couple of weeks now and wawin is learning really fast. i tried to drive a little.. and i was just too weak to go on with it. another we'll see. hehe.

last sunday, we visited a new born niece, brien. she was born premature at 8 months and last sunday marked her supposed to be 9th month. just a thought. when somebody asks, "ilang months na sya?" is the answer 9 months? or 1 month? hmmm...

galit sa 'kin si mungmong...

no, not the kitty-mungmong... the real mungmong, as in wawindawiwi-win-erwin-mungmong. he asked me to print a 4-page report at the office since our printer ink dried up ages ago, and we have no plans of replacing the cartridge anytime soon. he was supposed to bring this report to school today. he painstakingly reminded me a dozen times before i left for work last night. when i got to the office, i opened my email and confirmed to him that i got the report and it's ready for printing.

after a stressful 8-hour work time, silly me obviously forgot about the report. i was already in baclaran this morning when i remembered. it was a shrieking sound in my ear when it hit me. and there were tiny streaks of light that flashed through my eyes. shucks. the report. i'm dead.

what the heck, i thought i couldn't get back to the office, i'm so, so, so, so tired. i'll just look for the nearest internet shop in our neighborhood. there's one that's super near, but i'm doubtful they're open at 8am.

i got in the house and saw win, playing this monster thing at the pc. i told him i forgot, and i'm so sorry, and volunteered to accompany him to the internet shop. he smiled a fake smile and told me nevermind, he'll figure out a way when he gets to school. and he never talked to me again.

teka ako ang ate ah. bakit parang pinaparusahan ako? linsyak na bata ito. i said i'm sorry! and the last time he asked me to do this kind of favor, i did it right. it's just that things are heavy-flowing at work. (do i hear excuses? i do!)

puwes, manonood ako ng prison break mag-isa! manood ka rin mag-isa mo! 'di tayo bati! wala akong prison break buddy this week, fine! hmp