tell you what...

tell me about the shirt you're wearing.
♡ black and white long sleeved cardigan with black sleeveless shirt underneath
What's currently bothering you?
♡ my project
Are your toe nails painted?
♡ nope
When was the last time you had your hair cut?
♡ 3 months ago
Where were you last night?
♡ at home
Are you wearing shorts?
♡ yes
Does the thought of marriage scare you?
♡ sometimes
What did you do today?
♡ worked, walked under the snow :)
What time did you go to sleep last night?
♡ 11.30pm
When is your birthday?
♡ aug 17
Do you like/love anyone?
♡ yes
What are you going to do this weekend?
♡ maybe bum around
Were you happy when you woke up today?
♡ hmm, i'm worried
What would you do with 5 million dollars? why?
♡ a lot, baby :)
Have you ever crawled through a window?
♡ yes, i have vivid memories of it
What do you spend most of your money on?
♡ bills
Are you wearing a shirt?
♡ yes
Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
♡ none
How's your heart lately?
♡ it's fine :) still alive and beating
Would you ever donate blood?
♡ if i am fit to do it, yes
Do you wish someone was with you right now?
♡ yep
What were you a year ago?
♡ i am an OFW
Is there anything annoying you right now?
♡ wala naman
How old is the first person on your top friends?
♡ 28?
Do you have a reason to smile right now?
♡ yes
What do you do when you need to relax?
♡ i just lie down and listen to music
Would you honestly say you'd risk your life for someone else?
♡ yes
Do you have a best friend?
♡ yes
Are you afraid of death?
♡ yes
Are you looking forward to anything?
♡ going home :)
Do you open up to people easily?
♡ yes
Has anyone upset you in the last week?
♡ hmm, wala naman
Do you think you would be a good parent?
♡ i would love to be a good parent, so yes.
Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?
♡ my boss
What are you going to do tomorrow?
♡ work
Favorite color?
♡ white, pink
Do you think you will still be in a relationship 3 years from now?
♡ hmm, i can't tell.

laughter and you

i heard you laughing today. it was almost an unfamiliar sound for i haven't heard it for some time. it was music, all harmonious and pleasant. it replaced the eerie stillness, i know it's there, despite the wall that divided us.

i hope this is it. i hope things will be back to normal, and normal is: your bubbly alter-ego conquering the dark and pessimistic character. ;p

your laughter completed my weekend. you completed my weekend. thank you. :)

jodorant

jodorant, as my brother's elementary teacher pronounced with conviction, is something that you apply on your underarms to ward off unpleasant smell in case you perspire. in tagalog, para hindi ka magkaputok.

sa mga pinoy, we apply it after taking a bath, which is like everyday. it is something we do in private. siguro hangga't maitatago natin ito sa paningin ng iba, gagawin natin.

waiting for my flight going here, at the airport in sg, i was at the boarding gate when a couple (mukang tiga-rito) sat in front of me. all of a sudden, si kuya, biglang nagjodorant! as in nilagay nya yung jodorant sa loob ng damit nya at pinahid sa kili-kili nya. naturalmente, na shock ako! susme. wenong magagawa ko, ganun sila, ok lang sa kanila yun.

akala ko e isolated case lang yun hala sa office, ganun din. nasa lamesa nila ang mga jodorant! parang powder lang ba ito kung sa ating mga girls - na ok lang na nakikita ng ibang tao na ginagamit mo.

cultural differences, ate. hehe. ang ok sayo ay di ok sakin. ang ok sakin ay di ok sayo. weh. :)

reflections

restarting my bulok laptop. i saw my reflection was very clear. naaliw ako. parang horror. :S

annoying blue socks

sheesh... i'm wearing powder blue socks and black shoes. eek. no more black socks on a thursday. i tried my best to hide it, but it just peeked that way. it irritates me. i should buy more black socks. better than nothing, though. yak.

friday night and the lights are low

one friday night, jan and i had an awesome dinner at - dig this - "mexican restaurant and cuban bar." how creative could they get in giving a name? we desperately searched for this "romantic" park near niederdorf. not that we have any reason to be in a "romantic" park together, we just wanted to see it. haha.

pics: overlooking the lake and niederdorf. nice lights. nice calm water. you could even see the tram tracks.

sitting on a bench

globus mall near hauptbahnhof. this has been our tambayan for some afternoons. after work, head to the malls, buy dinner at the thai stall in front of globus, sit on an old bench, eat dinner, watch people pass by, talk, laugh, and yes, look at the big globus sign - globus and the clouds.

tamarraw falls

taken last july when we went home to pinas. we visited my dear lola in mindoro. this is tamarraw falls. i have very fond childhood memories as mindoro visits are not complete without going to the falls. cool, clean water, lush surroundings, simple life. looking forward to these when i grow old(er) someday.

pillars and clouds

one fine afternoon, a few months ago - walking from kembangan mrt station to our house. i miss sg mrt. i miss sg. i miss kuya.

yapak

taken in city link, singapore - i saw this poor baby walking without his shoes on! anaps sila. pic is a little blurry so it's not that obvious. daddy has shoes on. poor kid.

battered

tired at work.
traffic.
inching my way to a a place i temporarily call home.
i'm facing the opposite direction of the moving bus and i'm typing on my phone so i feel dizzy...
but i key in the words anyway.

i THINK i'm FEELING sad.
i FEEL i'm only THINKING i'm sad.
i'm hoping it's the latter.

i feel i'm forgotten.
i feel i'm ignored.
i feel i'm taken for granted.
or am i the one forgetting, ignoring, and taking people for granted?
or maybe i'm just being in a selfish mood?
i bet everyone has something crazy to think about.
maybe not crazy at all, but still, something.
my point is, the mind could never be in a vacuum state... maybe.
and my mind is full of crap right now.
i want to rest.

swiso sila

i've been here for more than 2 months now. kung meron man akong napansin, yun ay ang pagmamahal nila sa sariling wika nila. pagmamahal nang sobra. bakit kamo?

• karatula - lahat in swiss german. i don't have a sense of direction. what more if the directions are in swiss german? ayos. mula sa airport paglapag ko hanggang sa mga karatula sa restroom. sila lang ang nakakaintindi.
• kahera - mabibilang ko ang mga ate kaherang marunong mag english. susme, ikaw pa ang masama kung 'di ka makaintindi ng salita nila. si ate sa canteen, simula pa lang ng pag-abot mo ng bibilhin mo, hanggang sa pagkuha nya ng bayad mo at pagbalik ng sukli, walang katigil-tigil ng pagsasalita - in swiss german. hay ate, i wish i could understand you. mas maganda sana ang daldalan natin.
• babasahin - i love books. i was in HB after work, waiting for jan. i saw a bookstore, may-i-enter ako. wow. magazines, books - all in swiss german. i don't love books that much after today. hehe.
• opisina - setting: conference call. ako lang ang pinoy. defects meeting daw. may-i-dial ako. english ang discussion. great! after a few minutes, ayan na umaariba na sila ng salitang lokal nila... 'di ata maipahayag nang maigi ang damdamin sa english. wow may damdamin pala sa defects meeting. "i think we should stay in english" sabi ng peborit kong dev. wow mukang may malasakit sya sakin. thanks, devboy.
• ligaw - this morning, as usual, kandarapa ako paghabol sa 8:09 train ko. si kuya, naliligaw ata, nagtanong sa akin: "nahdfashfa;skdhfvashf;akshdfkashflashvfas?" yan ang intindi kong tanong nya. "i'm sorry, in english, pls?" sabi ko. "oh, do you know the way to school?" ayan nagkaintindihan na kami, matutulungan ko na sya siguro. "sorry, i don't know that" bwahahaha! pinatranslate ko pa e mas ligaw pa ata ako sa kanya. sorry, kuya! beterlaxnektime!
• palengke - lahat ng labels nila, lokal na salita. labels sa mga produkto, pati instructions! susme di ko alam kung ang nabili ko e asin o asukal! mygas! bili kami ng pansit - cooking instructions, no english. susme gamit na gamit ang babelfish! at wag kalimutan, si ate kahera, 'di kami magkakaintindihan pagbabayad dahil di sya nag i-english. hehe

'di ko sila masisisi. magagaling sila in their own ways. 'di naman siguro sukatan ng galing ang pagiging marunong ng english. pero, mahirap lang talagang makipag-usap sa porenjers. in a way, parang 'di ko mafeel na welcome ako coming from another world dahil ang hirap talagang mag communicate. hehehe. yun lang. naikwento ko lang, 'di naman ako naghihinanakit. wow.

healthy eating habits

gumising. to eat or not to eat? 'wag na lang, male-late na ako sa 8:09AM train ko. magbaon ng muffin. kainin sa office.

pagdating sa office. wow, busy. 'di ko na nakain ang muffin ko. nakatiwangwang lang sya sa table ko.

uy, lunch na. wala pang laman ang tyan ko kundi tubig. hmm.

chinese food na lang ang lunch. greasy ito.

stressed ako. kalahati na lang ang kakainin ko. 'di ko na maubos e.

busy. walang meryenda.

uy 7:30 na. kumakalam na sikmura ko. uwian na. ano kayang pagkain sa bahay?

ay ako pala nagluto nung sunday. menudo. hmmm. sarap. totoong pagkain.

dami kong nakain! bundat! hala sige. magpakalaki ka, bilbil. bangungot pwede rin. 9pm na e. malapit na ko matulog.

bukas ulit. ganito. healthy no? :)

pagod

tiring day at work. started "hammering the deals" - as they so fondly say - at 8:30 am, ended at 7:30 pm. there's one task we are so giddily avoiding. i hope i won't do it, but if i had to, what can i do? i'm just an employee.

i feel i'm becoming one of the boys. why not, if i have to be with boys only for the rest of my stay here. i eat like them, i joke like them, i walk like them. sheesh, i miss my guuurls.

why could somebody be asking that question? could it mean, hmmm? paranoid.

if only i could take away somebody's pain and anxieties and worries, i will do it even if i have a bag-full of that right now. i wouldn't mind carrying some more - if only i could ease your burden.

i hope it is not just about "that". at the moment, that's how i see it.

this post is going nowhere. i just want to have a good, long sleep. will be tired tomorrow again.

'sang litrong beer at iba pa

somehow, we managed to gate-crash to the october fest. tagalugin natin, at walang sambitan ng pangalan...

pagpasok pa lang namin sa tent, wow ang saya-saya ng lahat ng tao. malakas ang tugtog, lahat ay may hawak na 1 litrong beer, nagsasayawan. nakita namin ang mga kasama namin sa isang mesa at nakisingit kami. hahaha wala namang naagawan ng upuan, somehow, nagkasya kami.
beer kung beer. maya-maya, sabi nila, kailangan daw tumayo sa bench na inuupuan mo at sumayaw. ayaw ko sana. pinandilatan ako, "you have to stand up!" ok fine. madali akong kausap. tayo kami. indak kami. nariyang muntik mahulog, may mga bastos na mama pero ok naman. ang alam ko lang enjoy ang lahat ng tao dun.

bandang 11pm, may mga bouncer na nagtataboy ng mga tao. hehe. nagkukwentuhan pa kami. ayaw pa naming umuwi so chika chika pa kami sa labas. may mga sumunod pang pangyayaring di na siguro kailangang ikwento dito pero sobrang freaky at unique sya. siguro minsan lang sa buhay ko mangyayari yun hahaha!

ang gusto ko lang naman ay makakita ng october fest, uminom, at magsaya! hmmm, may mga extra pa akong nakuha na hindi ko sana gustong maranasan ko. pero oh well... life's like that. :)

doggies and learnings

as a kid, i was taught that dogs produce the sound "baw-aw-aw!"
at a later stage, i learned that this sound is called barking.
now, i'm 28 years old (some say i'm at my prime).
today, i learned - and actually heard - that people could bark too!
aah, life! you'll never stop learning.
what will i learn tomorrow? that people bite too? hmmm... that would be a sight.
will let you know.

:S

fidgets

:-S

when you're anxious and you know it, clap your hands. clap, clap, clap.

:-S

how would you know what's inside a box if you wouldn't open it?

:-S

when i'm nervous, or occupied with something, or tensed, i find all the darned white head i could find on my scalp.

:-S

i don't like that feeling. neither that one. sheeesh. just stop.

:-S

when i feel i'm alone, sometimes i'm happy. sometimes it devours me - in a nasty way.

:-S

all that talk about it makes me excited, and scared, and all prepped up.

:-S

going to a battle? i find it thrilling - if only i have the armor!

:-S

that's number one on my wish list... and my prayer list... and my hope wish.

:-S

I CAN DO IT! WE CAN DO IT! HE CAN DO IT! SHE CAN DO IT! THEY CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! GO GO GO!

:-S

a moment like this

a stroll under the trees with falling yellow leaves - autumn!
a walk on sturdy bridges with crystal clear water running underneath
a learning journey on museums
a long ride on the train - with snuggles and all
a solemn moment in a magnificent church
a struggled walk on cobblestones
a soulful rest on an old bench
a breathless moment watching the ice-tipped horizon
a squinting gaze on what's beneath the fog
a bare-foot walk on the grass
a ride on a bicycle
a dip on a lake
a sip of fresh, clear water
a cup of hot choco or coffee or tea
a hearty meal
a dreamy look on jet paths in the clear sky
a nice sun bath
a cautious cross on an old street
a priceless smile on a photograph
a shriek under the drizzles of a fountain
a friendly smile offered to a stranger
a funny feeling of being lost - and eventually getting there
calloused feet and sore muscles, but a gleeful heart

wish you were here

not this time

i am a believer of the goodness in every person's heart.
i am always hopeful.
i am always open to forget any mistake if you show me even just a little nicety.
my favorite line is, "hindi naman siguro".

from now on, though, these crappy sentences don't apply to you.

* title inspired by music playing from jan's room.