bye bye baguio

it's tested and proven. if you get way too excited over a trip, it won't push through! =( for the past week, this has been my avatar image:

overly excited for baguio, i customized my avatar to simulate my would-be look for the trip. i even planned to dress up just like that and strike a pose beside a pony when i get there on the 20th. haha! i have a sweat jacket just like that...

ok... until my mom felt some negative vibes over this trip and asked me to pass on this trip. plus, there were 2 black butterflies
in our house that night she made that request.

my mom's this cool, lenient mom and she just nods her head when i have a trip. no curfews, no conditions, doesn't even fuss who i'm with. she has this overflowing level of trust in me (and in people). that's why when she feels bad about it, i simply abide! just going back to the basic and simple "mom knows best" principle.

mga makasaysayang "lakad", literally, ng buhay ko

i kind of lost na my momentum for this post... but worth posting 'cause i literally walked and walked for almost 18 hours. now my legs hurt and it feels like they're gonna fall off from my body soon haha morbid.

unang walk - ccp and baywalk jog/walk with the pretty and sexy maricor (630-900am)
notable notes:

the last time i jogged there was about 20 yrs ago... socks: the ones with like fur balls above the heels na uso noon. lemme draw it...

there were a couple of aerobic groups there! cool! my mom would love that!

after walking around the ccp complex, you could always traverse the baywalk!

baywalk is a schizo and has 2 faces: day (the family mode) and night (the gimik mode)

i will never forget manong magtataho's kind gesture of accepting our P15 payment for 2 glasses of taho (actual cost: P20) just because he doesn't have change for P100.

likewise, the kind gesture of the elderly joggers who offered us their breakfast baon - hot soup... they have this big pot of soup that reminded us of lolo jehan, nelo, and patrash.

had the best breakfast at mcdo, p. gil (na nilakad din namin from baywalk)! hotcakes and cold chocolate! yummers!

pangalawang walk - women's forum at the world trade center with ma (100-500pm)
notable notes:

it was really boring. full of contacts-hungry organizations.

setting: hundreds of walk-in booths that offer products, services, or simply get your contact info

nevertheless, good bonding ito with ma

pangatlong walk - powerbooks power walk with myself (530-730pm)
notable notes:

the girls and i were supposed to meet at 7, but i went straight to makati from the women's forum rather than go home pa. sayang effort.

there were no seats available so while scanning for books, i just stood there, walked a little... scan, stand, read, walk... for almost 2 hours!

finally at around 645, the carpet area was finally opened. i read half of this "indulgence" book.

pang-apat na walk - dinner at italianni's and greenbelt stroll with riche, allen, mauie, ecel (730-1100pm)
notable notes:

simply put, great food!

oh, we met the famous italianni, the owner of the resto! hihihi! ask the girls!!! i swear!

there were about a million birthday celebrants that night!

we concluded that you have to be a professional singer and dancer before you could be hired as an italianni's food attendant.

a night stroll at greenbelt park is so relaxing... the kids at the fountain are so adorable!

we learned that mauie bought her bra strap from freeway haha i-broadcast ba?

pang-limang walk - clubbing at a certain "sayawan" in greenbelt with the girls, except mauie (1100pm-100am)
notable notes:

wild crowd!

young crowd!

nasty foreigners!

i actually took some gulps of sanmig light! i thought i could NEVER tolerate the taste of beer... but, hey! it actually tastes like cali, ampalaya flavor

it was really good to have danced my heart out with the girls... bumped backs and bodies with people you don't know... naniko ng mga irritating people... constantly checked if there were still 4 bags, and a jacket, on the floor.

music and a know-it-all doll

This day was ok. Everything was really great until i
put myself in a very vulnerable situation: alone in my
room, about to sleep, i turned the radio on, sang
along (yeah, even with erroneous lyrics), and
foolishly entertained some thoughts again. How cant i
when sad songs invade my nerves? And this doll is
staring right through me? Reading my thoughts. Darn
it, she knows, doesnt she? She has this smile that
tells me -- I know! --. Turns out shes more loyal to
the giver than to me. I have a weak sense of self
control tonight. I have all the power to turn the
radio off and likewise put the know-it-all doll in a
box. Yeah let them (and my hormones) overpower my will
tonight. Tomorrow ill go jogging with maricor to shake
off these negative vibes.



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manang is annoying when she...

has her eyes glued on the tv...

all day and literally all night!

talks and rants with a megaphone voice while i'm watching tv. (off topic: yeah... i've pretty much accepted my role as a constant shock absorber... at least i have the ability to hear and somehow ease others' pains)

switches the tv to another channel while i'm watching FRIENDS. heck! i turned my alarm on so i won't fail to watch FRIENDS and she made lipat just when it was about to end; hello! i'm still here!

switches the channel to gma to watch the equally annoying mike enriquez. i like tv patrol. don't like 24 oras.

other than those, i love everything about manang... how she keeps the house decent, how she washes and irons our clothes, how she kills all gamo-gamos at night and sweeps them out of the house, how she opens the water pump every morning when i call out her name from the bathroom (pag ako naliligo, laging nauubusan ng tubig. i swear!). stay cool, manang! thanks for "consuming" my semi-tasteless oatmeal cookies!

=( =( =( sponge caths stressed out =( =( =(

my my... i feel so stressed out today. for starters, i had the weirdest and ugliest dream - about suicide (not mine), blood, and other scary stuff. i actually remember the stale smell of blood from that horrible dream... too heavy to handle for the day.

round two, it's almost the time of the month... and i get all depressed and i generally feel unwell and my tummy gets all rumbly and everything from here to there just aches a little and i become just a little bit bratty and pouty and sulky and i just don't stop complaining... hear me?

round three, i received the greatest shocker via a phone call - at work! it was a big mistake to give her my number. i was actually expecting that. somebody's REALLY mad over somebody who's REALLY close to me. the mad one's pouring it all out to me and i got all shaky and nervous. she somehow sounded mad at me too... i was losing my temper but i held on just a little bit and i did her a big favor by becoming this superelcetromagneticultrablastic sponge for her for about 30 mins. yeah yeah i swallowed them all. i was trying to defend my friend but realized it's nonsense and dangerous... she's got no ears at this point in her life. please, bless her with mighty ears. in the end, i calmly said, "why don't you talk to her about it to settle things? it's not my job to defend her anyway". thank heavens she got convinced. i almost added "remember who we're serving here?" but i just shrugged the thought off. i don't want to sound preachy preachy and goody goody at the same time bitchy bitchy.

=( =( =( i need a looong rest... =( =( =(

* friend, if you're reading this, please don't send me THAT offline message. i don't want to see it now. i don't ever want to see it. pleeease?!?

bakit daw hindi "madevelop"

i know everything's just a joke, but why not answer the question? patulan once and for all for wala lang reasons. i'll be as serious hihi and discreet (hell! i should be discreet!) as possible. here are my mostly illogical, unreasonable, but honest reasons...

because of the friendster principle aka it's-a-small-world-after-all principle

three's a crowd. four's an army. heck! four?!? totally unbelievable!

i still believe you insistently extract something out of me for purely egotistic reasons

you just love the thought of it. believe me!

we have completely different levels of satisfaction in love and in life

i have a new belief and hope

there's just no spark, butterflies, sweaty palms, or whatever high school stuff they term it - on both parties ha

the last time something like this happened, everything turned grugskliruzkish (what the heck does that word mean? it just sounds so ugly!)

i love whatever we have now... and i want it that way. i'm not really happy about the "two" things you have and i'm praying you can do something about it soon

hindi ako film, i guess? haha ay ang corny ko dun a

my ears are not that bad though and are always available... i believe yours are two of the best i've borrowed, pwedeng lumevel with my girlfriends' ears haha! stay cool!

heaven sent

i received the most wonderful gift and insight last night.

if it was indeed God who had touched me in my dreams, i thank Him for giving me the gift of forgiveness.

now it's my turn to share the gift to someone who's in need of it. and i'm giving it away... sending it his way... =)

5 dozens of lifeless cookies

ok... i have 3 jars of semi-tasteless oatmeal cookies. want some? haha!

i remember the first batch (about 2 dozens) i made a few weeks ago tastes almost perfect. that's why i promised a friend i'll give him some when i bake another batch... i added some cutie raisins pa naman on top para di nakakahiyang ibigay... may decor ba.

what went wrong? well, the instructions clearly state: 1 cup of firmly packed brown sugar. ooopsss...

i forgot to pack it firmly!!!!!! waaaaaaaaah! nooooo!!! OA

dummy me! stupid me! ang tabang! who would want to eat tasteless oatmeal cookies with raisins on top? hmmm... pwede pa rin namang panawid-gutom pag super nanginginig ka na sa gutom... good luck sa mga kakain...

friend, i'm gonna have to bake yet another batch. sorry!!

*mental note: pack the sugar firmly!!!

drifting away

for quite some time now, it's been the same piece of shit. win's not home on time and couldn't be reached. he would often come home very late, or worse on weekends, he'll go home the next day na! brat! text him, call him, what do you know? he doesn't care! we've been too nice... "please call or text us if you'll be late"

we've used and abused the power of technology just so he could get in touch with us... lahat na ng text/call collect chuva... name it! and he still has all sorts of excuses! unbelievable!

last saturday, after numerous attempts of getting in touch with him, i've had enough and i hoped that ignoring him will teach him some lesson. surprise surprise! the little brat knows how to fight back with pride and gives me this equally snobby attitude! maybe he's expecting me to apologize? geez... i didn't realize that earlier! duh! it's been some time since we had a misunderstanding like this... mabigat talga sa dibdib pag may di kabatian...

maybe we've been to lenient with him... enjoying his freedom to the point of going beyond what his body can handle. if he didn't have this heart disease, then he could go ahead and live his life as he wants it in vice city! heck... he's so papa-like talga... multuhin sana ni papa and ituro ang tamang landas... brat

two little secrets

dear you-know-who-you-are,

that was a nice talk. gulat ka no! nagulat din ako. our secrets are safe. we are two lucky bitches ay babes pala hehe mali pa e! at least we got out of it safe and not extremely damaged... haha!

let's just take these as blessings in disguise... now i don't want you having second thoughts about it, ok?!? that's something beyond normal and we're not brought in this world to tolerate and nurse the abnormalities of bruised people. that's definitely out of our control. let's not play gods here... clear?

you're not alone. i'm not alone. =) and we'll get through with grace.

*winky wink =)

light magic

saw the most fascinating thing over ibc today - photocatalyst technology in japan. if i remember it right, titanium oxide is used to coat the surface of ceramic tile or glass. once light touches the surface, any trace of dirt is wiped clean... now that's what i call a NEAT technology! some buildings are coated with the solution and every morning, upon the rising of the sun, presto! spic and span! even annoying traces of water droplets become invisible after a rain... ang shoray!

how fools behave

bump.
ouch.
bump.
ouch.
bump.
ouch.
bump.
ouch.
bump.
ouch.
bump.
ouch.
.
.
.
*this just keeps on repeating infinite times...

love before sex, or sex before love?

this is quite an interesting topic... saw it at y speak in abscbn.

i caught a few lines from the debaters:

love before sex:

what difference do we have with animals if you have sex without love?

love is commitment and you don't just sleep with people you don't love

sex is done for the purpose of pro-creation, therefore it should be done by people in love, who have pure intentions

sex before love:

sa panahon ngayon, be practical! dapat sex muna nang sex bago mo malaman kung love mo sya (caths says: duh! mukang wala lang syang maisip na masabi haha)

as long as you're responsible for your actions, it's ok

you have to know if you're sexually compatible with your partner before you tie the knots.

wanna hear my thoughts?
i guess, the sex-before-love people are mistaking love for marriage. those are two separate things 'cause you could be in love, but not married, and have sex... fine with me. at least you're in love!

i have nothing against people who are in this kind of relationship, i mean engaging in sex outside marriage, as long as they're responsible enough for their actions and they do the act of "it" inside the walls of love... that's why there's the term making love. =) otherwise, that's called humping haha.

on the other hand, sex without love, as in what? making out with strangers? or people you don't love? is a definite no-no for me.. that's when the animal thing comes in.

lastly, it all depends on each person's discretion and i respect everybody's judgment... that we all perceive what is best and what works for us. and my discretion is: the act itself should be contained inside marriage. limitation? i guess as long as you're not being selfish, it's fine. does this mean though that anything but "that" is ok? hmmm... dilemma! and off-topic. =)

all the way to the top...

hmm... this should've been posted last friday night pa... dunno what went wrong =(

with the body state i have right now, i can't believe i still have the energy to lift my arms on keyboard-level to convey my thoughts.

wall climbing was not that bad. ok that's an understatement 'cause it was the best! to think i almost backed out yesterday! it's a good thing i didn't. if i did, i wouldn't have "acquired" the following learnings:

ehem, ehem...

for P195, it was an activity that allowed me to push myself to my limits

the normal vertical-wall type wasn't that hard! =)

the wall that was slightly inclined towards the top was more challenging

the slant-vertical-slant-vertical was extremely hard! i didn't make it through the 2nd slant part

when you feel like you can't go on anymore, you have to let go. know your limitations!

you have to warm up before you make sugod the wall (now my arms hurt like hell... i'm so schufid!)

i can't make it through the fifth level haha!

never wear the underwear that camille gave you (when you go wall climbing lang... i love that green one! thanks camz!) haha!

the rocks smell terrible... i didn't smell it during the climb, i smelled it on my hands eeew! baho!

they have these cute elves'-shoes-look-alike shoes ! goody!

listen to the mentor's instructions... you'll make it to the top! unless, of course, your arms are badly strained na...

take lots of pictures! *wink, wink

i love my chums' company!!!

to be determined: if i could still get out of my bed tomorrow!!!

joke, joke, joke!

cristy: ano ang kotse ng mga magician?
caths: ano?
cristy: e 'di chedeeeeeeeng!!!!

bwahahaha!

annoyances vs mood lifters

some annoying things about my morning:

hearing mike enriquez's voice over the radio... so annoying! extremely annoying!

sleeping for only 5 hours because of telebabad. lousy! slept at 2 am (this item has a corresponding reason to smile item )

crying just a little for certain reasons

being free but not being free at all

PGMA claiming that the philippine's financial status is improving

returning to my old vice of drinking coffee. tibok tibok (that's my heart thumping hard again!)

but there are reasons to smile still:

watching episodes 3 to 6 of smallville with kuya

making a certain person smile... somehow

only 1 weekend before payday (i thought we're going to have 2 more weekends)

* hearing someone's pains and somehow absorbing those pains; talking about kalokohan and fooling around! haha! (now here's a guy complaining about a girl! instead of the usual girl-complaining-about-guy stuff... music in my ears!)

bringing along 2 bananas for dessert

having another holiday! (2 actually: 15th and 29th)

baguio on the 19th!

oooh wow it was a close fight! and the score is: 7-6 in favor of reasons to smile... and so i smile! =)

one cool watch

saw the coolest watch. i like! i remember seeing this from someone, i forgot who she is haha! anyway, jet's leaving for the states soon and she'll be back on dec. 10. might as well make pabili haha! this is a nice christmas gift for myself =) weee!

suddenly i'm 12 again! wooohooo! cool!

guess what? i'm chatting with ivan right now. i went online to post how boring my day was... and there he is... the charming and sometimes sungit but equally lovable ivan... greeted me with a cute "te musta ka na" no punctuation marks parang walang emotions but so cute! i miss this kid! now i have something more interesting to talk about!

i'm pouring it all out with a 12-yr old kid, who's pouring it all out as well! =) cuteee! we're talking about serious stuff here! crushes and studies! haha! i love hearing from kids! i love how they sulk or get excited on the overly trivial matters (for us, that is!)... sometimes, i get tired of hearing about "adult" stuff. matters that cause nothing but sadness, anxiety, and sorrow.

he tried to show me his webcam view. i didn't see it 'cause i have a firewall... "ano yung firewall?" he asked... aaah so cute! the innocence of kids. sometimes i wish i still have that innocence and care-ko attitude. as in "care ko sa inyo! i'm busy playing with my stuff!" haha!

now we're playing tic-tac-toe using the doodle imvironment... cool eh?!? first round... i lost... over a 12-yr old? haha some brains i have huh!

i also remember the day justin proudly showed me his drawings... cool ones! haha! he spread them all out on the floor... i miss those kids =).

isn't it weird and funny how, as kids, we badly wish we were grown ups... and now that we've grown, we want to go through this reverse osmosis (huh ano yun? it just sounds like a nice reverse thing so i used the term haha!) process. return to innocence!

and he ended it with another cute "cge ate caths bukas nalang kasi kain na kmi e. online ka uli bukas ha" aaaw so sweet! i love kids!

my sassy girl (again) and enemy at the gates

haaay... watched my sassy girl again, this time with win. yesterday was with ma and kuya... the other day with office buddies... hmmm... looks like i forced everybody at home to watch the film (thanks to rv for lending me the dvd!). they liked it too no! hmm... manang hasn't watched it yet.

only, i didn't like the girl being so violent. plus the guy being so overly submissive. sumkinuva oa but overly cute din naman! hmm... true story pala sya. i checked out the review and it pretty much tells everything about it. great ending! totally cool!

earlier, watched enemy at the gates. kuya asked me to watch it and it's a good thing i did. it was a very good film. can't take my eyes off the tv! the scenes are so moving and i almost felt like i was there looking through the... what do you call that? i don't know... research says: peep sight. poor sacha! he was too young! his mother didn't know that he died =(

oh, the love scene's so umm... exciting! sneaky! discreet! hush-hush! haha! ganun ang mga gusto kong love scenes! mga patago haha!

hmmm these 2 films are 2001 movies pa... good films! =) and i better sleep another long week coming!

adios, memorias (goodbye, memories... hanep pang teleserye ang dating)!

last night, we went to manila memorial (with ma, kuya, win, and tito corny) to check out how papa, lolo, and lola are doing... haha =) they seem rather peaceful naman and happy. papa's his usual silent self haha! we brought this blanket and made latag on the grass. win and i went off to buy pizza... guess what, we got lost! haha! i called kuya pa to fetch us... tange... naligaw sa memorial haha!

i was cleaning my room this afternoon and i saw "our one only picture". stared at it for about 10 mins... reminisce konti... smiled a little... and put in the SM bag aka trash bag... haha no sense keeping an old photograph if makes you feel sad rather than happy.

i also had to put elmo and this small cute bear inside a bag... i won't throw it though. i just kept it somewhere... oh poor elmo. i could still remember the day elmo came into my life... elmo was sitting on this chair in kfc... he looked so cute! tulog ka muna ha elmo and baby bear...

i also read my old diary (2000 to 2003). mymy! there were a lot of heart aches and pains in there! i really had a lot of spirit in me huh! to hold on to something for almost 4 years despite doubt, a mountain of emotional pain, feelings of unstability... i guess the happy times compensated for the moments of hell... that's how i saw it then. somehow i have regrets. they say there should be no regrets... but that was something i could definitely grasp by the neck but i didn't do anything about it... regrets regrets... if i only knew it would come to this, i should have done what i always wanted to do back then. i didn't because i thought this was something worth keeping and worth fighting for... obviously, i took the risk and i lost the game - for a while...

oh, it's good i'm done cleaning my room... i'm getting kind of muddled whenever i see memory-emitting-stuff! that's why i have to send them all away muna... =) til we meet again elmo!