last night, we went to manila memorial (with ma, kuya, win, and tito corny) to check out how papa, lolo, and lola are doing... haha =) they seem rather peaceful naman and happy. papa's his usual silent self haha! we brought this blanket and made latag on the grass. win and i went off to buy pizza... guess what, we got lost! haha! i called kuya pa to fetch us... tange... naligaw sa memorial haha!
i was cleaning my room this afternoon and i saw "our one only picture". stared at it for about 10 mins... reminisce konti... smiled a little... and put in the SM bag aka trash bag... haha no sense keeping an old photograph if makes you feel sad rather than happy.
i also had to put elmo and this small cute bear inside a bag... i won't throw it though. i just kept it somewhere... oh poor elmo. i could still remember the day elmo came into my life... elmo was sitting on this chair in kfc... he looked so cute! tulog ka muna ha elmo and baby bear...
i also read my old diary (2000 to 2003). mymy! there were a lot of heart aches and pains in there! i really had a lot of spirit in me huh! to hold on to something for almost 4 years despite doubt, a mountain of emotional pain, feelings of unstability... i guess the happy times compensated for the moments of hell... that's how i saw it then. somehow i have regrets. they say there should be no regrets... but that was something i could definitely grasp by the neck but i didn't do anything about it... regrets regrets... if i only knew it would come to this, i should have done what i always wanted to do back then. i didn't because i thought this was something worth keeping and worth fighting for... obviously, i took the risk and i lost the game - for a while...
oh, it's good i'm done cleaning my room... i'm getting kind of muddled whenever i see memory-emitting-stuff! that's why i have to send them all away muna... =) til we meet again elmo!
2 years ago
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