pwede pong bumati?

happy birthday sa lola ko sa mindoro nung dec. 8. mami yan ng mami ko. happy birthday, lola! labyu! see you next summer!

happy birthday din pala sa pinsan ko si ate aileen nung dec. 9. first cousin ko yan sa mother side. happy birthday pinsan!

chaka pala birthday din sa pinakamamahal kong mikey nung dec. 10. hamberdeybebe! labyu! babuy! lab mo ko?

tapos, tapos, si aira birthday din nung dec. 11. gf ng kuya ko yan. happy birthday, girl. fly high. be happy.

isa pa sa dec. 11 yung first cousin ko rin sa father side si ate elaine... preggy na nga pala sya, first sa camacho cousins na preggy.

tapos sa dec. 12 naman, syempre mami ko. pwede bang di ko batiin yan?!? happy birthday, mami! love ya so! mwah!

tapos last na.. may time pa ba? last na. yung inaanak ko sa dec. 13. si brenna. happy birthday brenna!

* super last na... si lola floring pala death anniversary rin nung dec. 10. rest in peace lola wherever you are! miss ya! mama ng papa ko yan.

uy may isa pa pala... sa dec. 14 birthday ng pamangkin ni maricor, si lance. happy birthday lance. makulit yan na cute hihi.

yun lang po salamat!

someday ni nina

Someday you’re gonna realize
One day you’ll see this though my eyes
By then I won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared
I know you don’t really see my worth
You think you’re the best guy on earth
Well I’ve got news for you
I know I’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long

Someday someone’s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone’s gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
Someday someday

Right now I know you can tell
I’m down and I’m not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won’t have to cry, sweet goodbye

maganda sana ang melody. sinulat daw ni nyoy para kay nina. hindi masyadong angkop sa kanila kse sila diba? pero bakit ang sad ng song?
akala ko nung una, it's a bitter song... tipong guy leaves girl and girl is in the process of healing. hindi pala. parang nagbabadyang mag byebye si girl pero bumubwelo pa lang hehehe. di pa kse kaya. parang... hintay ka lang... soon... kaya ko na. hehehe. coolness. pero ang sad. :(

ending the year right

our house is a mess. we had a picture taken in front of the house some weeks ago, and in the picture, we saw a house that looks dilapidated hahaha. more like a haunted house. so my mom thought it was about time to have the front part fixed. the plan was only to change the ceilings since they were kind of dangling loose. also, the walls and roof have to be repainted because what's left of the off-white paint is just off LOL.

a can of worms was opened, though. and a simple repair isn't going to happen. apparently, the whole of the roof/ceiling part must be changed because termites left merely a skeleton of the supporting lumber. sheesh. so there, for more than a week now, our front yard (?) is a complete mess, just in time for Reming season (may their souls RIP) i guess. a few more pieces should be in place this afternoon, and then just the paint and we're ready for the christmas decors.

while we're at the mess part, we're also trying to get rid of the clutter inside the house. i rummaged through my closet this morning and i filled a whole trashbag (size: large, color: light yellow) with rubbish. i can't believe i've been keeping those trash for almost a decade now. some notebooks date back to high school! some were notes during college and some were from spi. i'm really a sentiment freak. i don't even look at them, why keep them? i say throw them all away. my neighbor knows a recycling shop nearby so all those junk will have a bright future ahead of them. good for them. :) and good for us too. just a good way to end the year. rubbish-free. :)

if not time, then attention... if not attention, then what?

...

on candles

minsan, ang kandila hyper. matindi magningas. siguro dahil dun sa mahabang mitsa. ang liwanag! ang laki ng apoy. parang nagsasayaw. malikot. masigasig. kahit merong hanging bumubuga-buga, hindi madaling mamatay. ganadong ganadong mag give light at magningning! kelangan mo ng todong effort to make a big blow bago sya ma-dead.

minsan naman, ang kandila low batt. siguro dahil halos parang nilalamon na ng kandila yung mitsa. yumyum ba. todo flicker weakly ang light. will it die? or will it not die? kahit anong gawin mong takip at pag-iwas sa hangin, wala, namamatay din. minsan nga, ayaw na sumindi e. in that case, useless na ang kandila. patapon na.

pero 'di naman laging hopeless case yun e pag ayaw sumindi. minsan kelangan mo sunugin yung kandila mismo para lumabas yung mitsa... remedyo ba. ganun naman ang buhay eh. remedyuhan lang ang mga pagkukulang, tapos ok na ulit. tapos, liliwanag na ulit. minsan. minsan, hindi rin.

what's with the candle? ewan ko. parang ako siguro...

survey

1.anong gusto mong itawag sa iyo?
- caths, cat

2.anong oras kang natutulog sa gabi?
- sa umaga, 11am

3.ano gusto mo, sports o arts?
- pareho

4.ilang beses kang kumain sa isang araw?
- three..

5. ano ang nagpapasaya sa araw mo?
- maliliit na bagay, malalaking bagay na kasiya-siya

6. umiinom ka ba ng beer?
- pwede na rin

7. madali ka bang masaktan?
- super

8. pano ka nagpapapansin sa crush mo?
- hihi... i'm too shy to let him know i exist

9. mahal mo ba kaibigan mo?
- butopkors

10. wat turns u off?
- mayabang

11. naranasan mo na bang magmahal ng isang
tao na d ka mahal?
- yuh

12. sa tingin mo ba meron kang secret
admirer?
- wala siguro

13. panu mo malalaman kung mahal mo na?
- pag naiinis na ko pag di sya nagpaparamdam

14. close ka ba sa mommy mo?
- yuf

15. eh mga kapatid mo?
- uu

16. ano fave mong gawin kapag may free time
ka?
- makinig music, manood tv, mag internet

17.masasabi mo bang kumpleto na ang buhay
mo ngayon?
- there are certain things na medyo kulang pa pero pwede namang wala. :) ibigay or hindi, hindi sasama ang loob ko hihi. ay kulang pa pala... wala pa kong anak e

18. masarap bang magmahal?
- soper

19. pano ka magselos?
- "sige kayo na lang kaya?!? babye" sabay irap

apart but not torn apart

wishing you all the best in life... wishing you all the best in love. i swear, i wouldn't approve of long distance relationships ever. but there's no guarantee that what happened to me will happen to juan and maria. :)

maybe there's a love that gets weak over time. maybe there's a love that doesn't get contented and wanders away. maybe it's not love after all. but there's also a love that's as sturdy as bamboo, just sways along with the challenges and gets stronger in the midst of chaos.

being apart doesn't necessarily mean you'll be torn apart. it's just a phase. i'll be there with you in your happy ending... and maybe, eveybody might just live happily ever after... distance or no distance. together forever. dick and carmi. whatever.

moments and oh moments

multinational village trip/lcg renewal

mark, ate estrella, joycha, and i headed to the holy eucharist parish in moonwalk for the yearly lcg renewal. we decided to just hail a tricycle and use the multinational village route to get there instead of the longer way - via sucat road. so we asked this tricycle driver if he knew where the holy eucharist parish was. he said yes. we took the long journey. after many lefts and rights, we realized we're kinda lost and that manong tric didn't know where we were going. syet. anyway, we found the church at long last and we were still early for the event.

the seminar was rather informative, not really boring. thanks to the good speaker and good company, everything went out well.

oh moment: oh! i saw monty in the rest room! i didn't know she was in the lcg. it was good to see her. :)

ang pananghalian (or merienda na?)

it was mikey's mom's and dad's birthday party last saturday. mom and i were invited. i got home from the renewal at around 1230 and mom and i rushed to imus for the lunch. yes, lunch at 2pm. the food was great. the people were great. and it was a heart-warming sight to see mikey introduce my mom and i to his relatives. there were good realizations and it's nice to hear those words from my mom.

oh moment: oh! i finally met the friend - M... the famous M. i don't know what to say. pleased to meet you? maybe.

ang handaan ni donya mary

lola mary, our fammily friend and neighbor, celebrated her 75th birthday in the magsaysay hall along roxas boulevard. it was a sosyaling event. all her siblings from the states were there to grace the event. she looked really elegant in her maroon beaded gown. but what is elegance without bliss? with all her family and friends there, i could testify that she IS happy that night. when (and IF) i turn 75, i want to be as happy as donya mary. :)

oh moment: wala naman hehe.

manibela at ligaw

wawin gave me driving lessons yesterday. sa multi sana, kaso this manong rude guard didn't let us go in the village. fine. iyo na yan. we went to manila memorial instead. first to visit papa-yo and lolo-yo and lola-yo and then to practice driving na. yes. very "challenging" ang lesson na ito. bwahaha ... practice na practice. manila memorial ba naman e. sus. and then we headed off to fort estate to get kuya's atm from lui.

oh moment: oh syet! naligaw kami! as in super ligaw. do maps expire? hahaha expired na ata ang map namin. or hindi lang kami marunong tumingin... syet na map yan.

on dreams and visions

i've had surreal dreams for the past three nights. the dreams range from peaceful calamities (however weird that sounds), to getting lost, to making out (that's not weird), to asking favors from a city mayor who used to be a chicharong bulaklak vendor, to switching mothers, and to solitaires in a wooden house.

weird dreams aren't destructive, i think, but a regular dose of them doesn't put me in a feel-good state either. i woke up in a rather uneasy and heavy state for the past three days... which later on resulted to headeaches. argh.

for that reason, i now keep track of my dreams. who knows, somebody is trying to tell me something... when i wake up, i get my cell phone and jot down keywords of the dreams i had and then when i get to the office (talagang sa office ginagawa ito e no!), i make a detailed account of the dream... voila, a dream blog. make that a secret dream blog. who would ever be interested in reading somebody else's dreams and subconscious contents (or crap?!)? hehe.

There's a Right Time for Everything

There's an opportune time to do things,
a right time for everything on the earth:

A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 The Message

... my question, though, is when? :(

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on river wild and laser discs

monday morning, nothing to do, chanced upon river wild showing on hbo. and i was instantly glued to the couch/tv screen. it was a film i've seen so many years ago... roughly more than 10 years ago! i was so young then! it's a good film - heart pumping and adventurous. and i read just now that meryl streep did most of her stunts in that film. amazing actress. if i were trapped in that situation? what would i have done? sus... parang ang lakas ko e no!



speaking of ages ago, i recall this was one of the films i've seen on laser disc pa! it was the hype after the betamax and vhs eras. according to wikipedia, "The laserdisc (LD) was the first commercial optical disc storage medium, and is used primarily for the presentation of movies." ok very informative hahaha! well, i remember it looked like a compact disk, only it wasn't compact! LOL! actually it was about a foot in diameter! geez! this medium was gigantic! and the only laserdisc rental place i know back then was in makati cinema square! and papa would bring home these square silver plastic bags that contained the dozens of laser discs he rented from that shop. was it apple or the logo was apple? something like that...

my father was an advocate of home-viewing and super loud sound systems. the funny thing is, our neighborhood is infested by millions of tricycles and i swear, when we're viewing a film at home, you could forget about the irritating tricycle sounds! my papa's sound system could be heard even from a good distance hahaha!

happy shalala

di naman mukhang happyng happy si kuya hehe... this is the usual weekend setup, a family conference call via skype. kulitan lang. kumustahan. hehe.

we miss this guy so much.

survey #13

1. In one sentence, explain what ended your last relationship:
-infidelity

2. What made you smile today?
-hmm... talking with mikey about timpi

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
-talking with mom

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
-sleeping

5. Something that happened to you in 1986?
-my baby brother was born

6. Your prom night?
-hmmm... overnight with kada

7. Last thing someone else said to you?
-"sabihin ko hinahanap mo?"

8. What was your answer?
-sige

9. Worst thing currently on television:
-ewan

10. What was in the mail today?
-bills

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
-2 lang

12. What is your favorite part of the day?
-sunrise... and i don't see it often

13. Your current To-do list?
-hmm... mag test

14. Where is your best friend right now?
-ewan ko

15. What color is your toothbrush?
-green

17. Any plans for Friday night?
-wala e. pumasok

18. Least favorite place to shop?
-hmmm... dunno

19. things you bought today?
-chicken mcdo

20. Last gift you received?
-hikaw

21. Funniest thing that happened all day?
-walang funny

22. Favorite mug?
-wala rin

23. What color is your front door?
-brown

24. Describe your keychain:
-silver sya

26. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
-sunny

27. Last ice cream flavor?
-buko pandan? yak

28. Last rainbow you saw
-a few months ago

29. Something you are excited about?
-my christmas vaca!

survey #12

THE PAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU.

1.) Cried:
-no

2.) Worn jeans:
-yep

3.) Met someone:
-ay wala

4.) Done laundry:
-no

5.) Talked on the phone:
-yeba

6.) Kissed someone:
-no... ang tagal na!

7.) Said I love you:
-yeah

DO YOU BELiEVE iN

8.) Yourself:
-sometimes

9.) Your friends:
-yes

10.) Tooth Fairy:
-no

11.) Second chances:
-no... a big no

FRiENDS AND LiFE

12.) Do you ever wish you had another name?
-no

13.) Do your friends like you?
-sabi nila... like ko rin sila hihi

14.) Which one of your friends acts the most like you?
-hmmm... most of them are like me.. tawa nang tawa

15.) What's the best feeling in the world?
-being with someone you love

WHiCH iS BETTER

16.) Chocolate or vanilla?
-chocolate

17.) Coke or Pepsi:
-coke

18.) Love or Lust:
-pareho hihi

19.) Sprite or 7UP:
-Sprite

21.) Blonde Guys or Brunette Guys:
-ayaw

23.) Movies or Dinners:
-movies

24.) Night or Day:
-gabi

THE LAST TiME YOU

28.) Showered:
-10/18 7pm

29.) Cried:
-last week?

WHO

30.) Makes you smile?
-marami

31.) Who makes you laugh no matter what:
-hmmm... marami rin

32.) Has a crush on you:
-ewan

33.) Are you in love right now?:
-yea

DO YOU EVER

34.) Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call?
-yup

35.) Save IM conversations:
-hmmm.. work related lang

36.) Wish you were someone else:
-nope

37.) Wish you were a member of the opposite sex:
no. eeww

39.) Got online for longer than eight hours at a time
yeba

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON

40.) That you saw.?
-maricor?

41.) You talked to?:
-maricor

42.) You hugged?:
-mikey?

43.) You instant messaged?:
-jana

44.) You messaged on myspace?:
-si eric?

45.) You yelled at?:
-hmmm. win

46.) You thought about?:
-si win

47.) You loved?:
-si mikey

DO YOU?

48.) Color your hair?:
-no

49.) Have tattoos?:
-ala

50.) Have piercings?:
-thenga lang

51.) Own more than 10 pairs of flip flops?
-hindi

52.) Like someone?
-yeah

53.) Hate someone?
-oo ata eh

54.) Have any money on you?
-yeah

55.) Play any sports?
-no ngayon

survey #11

ten ten ten

TEN EMOTIONS.
1. are you missing someone right now? yes
2. are you happy? yes
3. are you talking to anyone right now? sa ym
4. are you bored? and sleepy
5. are you german? no
6. are you irish? no
7. are you spanish? no
8. are you asian? yes
9. are your parents still married? pag byuda si mama, married pa rin ba yun?


TEN FAVORITES.
1. televison show: prison break!
2. flower: roses na lang
3. color: lilac
4. sport: swimming
5. mall: kahit saan
6. music: depende rin sa mood
7. food: may sabaw, pagkaing pampista hehe
8. seasons? summer!
9. animal: dog
10. state: ewan

TEN FACTS.
1. hometown: parañaque
2. hair color: brown
3.perfume: light blue
4. hair style: layered?
5. eye color: brown
6. shoe size: 5
7. mood: sleepy
8. skin color: brown?
10. lefty/righty: righty

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

1. have you ever been in love? uu
2. do you believe in love? oo nman
3. are you taken? oo?
4. have you ever been heartbroken? yup
5. have you ever broken someone's heart? i don't know baka kebs lang haha
6. have you ever fallen for one of your best friends? nung nakaraan, oo
7. have you ever liked someone but never told them? yes... sniff
8. are you afraid of commitment? hindi naman
9. has someone ever kissed your hand? yes
10. have you ever had a secret admirer? hewan ko

TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT.
1. love or trust: hmmm... pareho siguro
2. hard liquor or beer: hard
3. night or day: day
4. one night stands or relationships: relationships
5. television or internet: internet
6. pepsi or coke: coke
7. wild night out or romantic night in: wild night out
8. colored pictures or black and white colored
9. phone or in person: in person
10. friendster or myspace: friendster

TEN HAVE Y0U EVER's.
1. have you ever been caught sneaking out? no
2. have you ever skinny dipped? oh yeah! the best!
3. have you ever done something you regret? yes
4. have you ever bungee jumped? i'd love to
5. have you ever been on a house boat? not yet
6. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker? huh?
7. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt? yes
9. have you ever danced in the rain? yes!
10. have you ever had a hang over? hindi pa ata

getting better

history 101: i never had problems getting along with the ex's mother-father-brother-sister-how-do-you-brush-your-teeth a.k.a FAMILY. in fact, up to now, i still get in touch with the mother - i more fondly call nanay. i got along well, in fact, i felt really accepted and loved and wanted from the first time we met up to this moment. the father is a seaman and is super maboka and funny man.

with the current: the mother is a-ok, equally welcoming and heart-warming as the ex's mother and i feel like i've known her for the longest time. the father? is a seaman and is currently home for a couple of months. i was certain i didn't want to meet him. thanks to the current's (na itatago ko sa pangalang mikey) not-so-positive feedback about him.

i was afraid to meet him for the first time 3 weeks ago. i was terrified that i might be rejected and unwanted. whoever wants to feel rejected? i asked, "pwede bang wag ko na lang sya i-meet?" i felt i just might cry of humiliation if i were shown even a tiny hint of rejection or i-don't-want-you-looks. and he said, "out of the question"... yeah i know. i had to meet him. really, really had to meet him.

so for 3 consecutive weekends, i was meeting with the parents (particularly with the father). here are some signs things are getting better... from good, that is. :)

weekend 1: i felt there was a high level of ilang factor. i was addressed indirectly, as if speaking with me, but statements were coursed via the mother and the son... he couldn't call me by name... hahaha! as in he was referring to me as "ano". super funny. i wasn't offended but i felt equally ilang. i think i understand where he's coming from - having to meet his only son's girlfriend for the first time. no sour faces though. which was really good... more of ilang lang siguro and shy.

weekend 2: getting a little at ease... he called me catherine. full name. the only times i'm called catherine: a. job interview, b. business matters at work, c. the newest addition to the list - when meeting the bf's father for the first time. haha! nick names could come later. i didn't remember if we had a direct conversation, but things were definitely more comfortable this time around. now, i have a name. i'm not "ano" anymore.

weekend 3: hey, he spoke with me! for a couple of times! and i'm positive he addressed those statements to me directly! nice. and he called me cat! now, that's what i call super heart-warming...

i wanted to make pingot mikey for scaring me about this whole meet-my-dad-thing. he's not stern as i thought he might be. in fact i think he's really nice. i'm not the maboka and ma p.r. type, but i slowly manage to be in good terms with the dad - who's someone like me too, i guess... not too much of the talkies type... but not rude. i'm not certain what things run through his head, but i'd rather not know. for now, i'm contented with the positive signals he's showing me. after all, the son says, "like ka nya". and that's all i need to hear and know. :)

busy no more - for a while

for the past few weeks, we've been pretty hyped up at the office. tasks here and there... make that super urgent tasks. can't eat on time, can't have rest room breaks, can't chat, can't do any thing that's outside the scope of work. hehe. too bad.

today is a new day, the major task was put on hold to, first of all, gather the correct requirements from the client... which should have been the first step. hehehe.

oh well... a couple of flashbacks:

how i felt so terrified to meet someone for the first time. i was hoping i could get away with it, not meet him at all, but the day came and we had to meet. he referred to me as "ano". as in, "ihahatid pa natin si ano". i wanted to laugh out loud, but thought it was better not to. harharhar... last sunday, he was able to utter my name - which is a good progress. we'll see.

wawin is the family driver now. make that family student driver :) kuya has been gone for a couple of weeks now and wawin is learning really fast. i tried to drive a little.. and i was just too weak to go on with it. another we'll see. hehe.

last sunday, we visited a new born niece, brien. she was born premature at 8 months and last sunday marked her supposed to be 9th month. just a thought. when somebody asks, "ilang months na sya?" is the answer 9 months? or 1 month? hmmm...

galit sa 'kin si mungmong...

no, not the kitty-mungmong... the real mungmong, as in wawindawiwi-win-erwin-mungmong. he asked me to print a 4-page report at the office since our printer ink dried up ages ago, and we have no plans of replacing the cartridge anytime soon. he was supposed to bring this report to school today. he painstakingly reminded me a dozen times before i left for work last night. when i got to the office, i opened my email and confirmed to him that i got the report and it's ready for printing.

after a stressful 8-hour work time, silly me obviously forgot about the report. i was already in baclaran this morning when i remembered. it was a shrieking sound in my ear when it hit me. and there were tiny streaks of light that flashed through my eyes. shucks. the report. i'm dead.

what the heck, i thought i couldn't get back to the office, i'm so, so, so, so tired. i'll just look for the nearest internet shop in our neighborhood. there's one that's super near, but i'm doubtful they're open at 8am.

i got in the house and saw win, playing this monster thing at the pc. i told him i forgot, and i'm so sorry, and volunteered to accompany him to the internet shop. he smiled a fake smile and told me nevermind, he'll figure out a way when he gets to school. and he never talked to me again.

teka ako ang ate ah. bakit parang pinaparusahan ako? linsyak na bata ito. i said i'm sorry! and the last time he asked me to do this kind of favor, i did it right. it's just that things are heavy-flowing at work. (do i hear excuses? i do!)

puwes, manonood ako ng prison break mag-isa! manood ka rin mag-isa mo! 'di tayo bati! wala akong prison break buddy this week, fine! hmp

mungmong

meet mungmong, the new baby in the house. :) there was this big, white cat who brought her new born kittens in our house. we kept the black one - mungmong. it was win's nickname when he was still a baby... and i decided to use that name for this cute, little kitten. despite win's wild protests of using that name, everybody calls the black kitten mungmong now. hehehe.

countdown: 4 days

4 days to go... and kuya's out of here. woke up at 7:30 PM and i passed by his room. he's home early and he's starting to pack his things.

it's a sad sight - kuya filling in a black backpack with some of his shirts, some pillow cases, and a few more kuya-stuff. and i just told him, "aww...". he replied, "ma-mi-miss mo ba ko?". "hindi," i lied. and left him to hide tiny tears.

no superman part 2

i've always found strength in my mikey. he works on weekdays and attends classes on saturdays. plus extra-curricular activities i.e., watching the UAAP, spending time with me, and sometimes going out with his friends on weekends. he's as strong as a horse... i swear!

and i find him invulnerable to pain and sickness. he only gets sick of colds or cough or mild fever, and that's it. he gets tired from time to time but i know he has the strength to get by no matter how tiring his activities are. aba dapat lang. with his appetite, super solid ang mga trip nyang ulam e no!

while i'm lame and payatot, i think he's leaner and mightier. while i'm a cry baby and immature, i think he's sensible and mature and objective. while i have no bilbil at all as in flat tummy, i think his bilbil is so big eeeww yak (wehehe dead ako neto. of course, i'm joking 'cause i do have eeeww bilbil). while i'm moody and impatient and sungit, he's the suyo-kita and ever patient type. see, he's really strong! makes me think sometimes that he's a super mega hyper creature.

pero... as i've made my point on my latter post, i have to keep in mind that he's just human too... and he does get sick, and his body doesn't function at its optimum level at all times, and he's also rushed to the hospital just like any human being who feels unwell, and i can't get to his side always, and the only thing i could guarantee is that he's thought of so much and i'm worried as hell, and i get misinterpreted by other people for not being there at a time like that, and i can't keep telling them that i'll be there if only i could, and i'm judged like hell... just because they don't know me. well tell you what, i don't know you too so don't give me that crap - and they're probably drunk. and i get helpless too just like a regular human being. 'cause after all, i'm no superman too. :(

no superman part 1

the elderly couple lolo heny and lola felicing are our quasi-relative, friendly neighbors. they have always been here for us, acting like boy ang girl scouts. we don't even have to ask for their help 'cause their hands are just there always extended by default. all we need to do is grab them.

lolo heny has always been our landscape artist. naks. that simply means he takes care of the plants surrounding our house. he loves plants and flowers and it is his pleasure to arrange and take care of our plants. everything is lush and pretty. oh, he does this knowing he gets nothing in return - nothing but sheer bliss that is the product of his tending to green life.

growing old means certain body parts will eventually fail to function as expected. for lolo heny's case, his gall bladder (if i remember it right) is failing. he was rushed to the hospital for an operation that almost took his life. thank God he's now getting well in his daughter's house in muntinlupa.

it was here that we visited him last sunday, and what i saw devastated me. the usual upbeat, mestizo lolo heny is now so thin. there's a tube that's connected to his stomach that secretes the bile. he manages to walk, but it is very evident that it's not easy for him. top it all with words that signify he's almost giving up. he said hirap na hirap na sya. and i'm not used to hearing pessimistic words from him.

when somebody is constantly there, you don't notice that they're just people who are also subject to wear and tear, that they get weak over time, and that no matter how wonderful and great their souls are, they're no superman at all. that's what makes us human after all. we bleed, we cry, we learn to say good bye, and we adapt once we are left behind - no matter how painful the whole process is.

i will root

in tagalog... uugatan na ako paghihintay... betchabygollywow naman 2AM na! kanina pa ko 9PM naghihintay naman naman.

ni-message ko sa IM, mga 10x na. itago na lang natin sya sa pangalang estregun. "hi, estregun". magfo-follow-up lang naman ako ng fixes sa issues para matapos na to... hindi nya ko pinapansin. :( 10x na ko nag "hi, estregun" i swear! dine-deadma nya ko! since last week pa.

tapos, nag-email ako ng issues... dinedma nya rin! betchaby talaga... dumarami lalo varicose veins ko eh... waaah! natatamad na ko maghintay!

mapapanood ako ng manhunt nyan... eto na malapit na... natetempt na ko... argh...

si kuya

kuya's leaving... soon. he finally got what he's been hoping and praying for. either that, or God granted my birthday wish - that He give what kuya is asking for, if that will be the best for him. or maybe, God listened to us both. we're equally loved then. :) as if there are favorites, duh! hehe.

kuya has been eyeing this good opportunity. he says it's about time he prepare for his future and he really wants to marry his gf soon. i'm so proud of him for having been transformed into someone i could look up to. he's changed over the years to become a man i could proudly refer to as, "kuya ko yan!".

as younger kids, we used to fight a lot. he was the antagonist, i was the underdog. he was the teaser, i was the cry-baby. i dunno if it had something to do with him being older, and with him being male, but we definitely were cats and dogs back then. and they were always on my side. who wouldn't be touched and comfort a crying tiny girl? and who wouldn't look down and point their fingers on a bad bully? hehehe...

despite all those fights, i could never forget that time when we were playing taguan with our neighbor playmates. i might have been the youngest among the pack, thus the slowest and the weakest weakling - that meant i had to be IT for the longest time! i just can't catch anybody! or make it to base before they do! and i was teary-eyed... just too tired of being IT, i guess. kuya noticed that i was all upset and he volunteered to be IT, and he took my post. awww. my big brother. my savior.

i could tell him everything, i could ask him anything. although there's still this wall of personal space, i know it's something we won't mind breaking or trespassing.

it hasn't really penetrated my system yet, the part that processes the major changes of life, but everyday i know we're getting there. and i can't help but feel a tinge of sadness too. i guess he's the next best thing to the father i never had and we've been pretty close now that we're older. we learned to share the same interests and i swear kuya is the type of person who could convince me to buy a jacket in a desert, or have a halo-halo in a snowstorm. :( i just believe in him, agree with him, and i know that his systems work. and yeah, he's earned my respect over the years.

oh, but he hasn't earned my love... you see, it's one thing that's innate. i'll miss you, big, silly, smelly guy! :( fly high but never fail to look back. keep our love in your pockets and it might just do you more wonders. have more faith in God and have more optimism. i think you have to work a little overtime for those two fields. above all, be a good boy and never ever forget to make your presence felt always. i luvya so much!

happy 2nd year anniversary...

sa blog ko! woohoo!

2 years of every emotion imaginable. :) i guess this is my longest running journal. sometimes, i manage to filter raging emotions into artsy words... sometimes i don't. hahaha... it is during those times i somehow regret how i say things. hehehe. like, did i just say that? but hey... i know i have the power to delete posts... edit the way i say things to make them sound subtle. but i don't. hehe maybe i just choose to say those... no matter how bitchy i may sound. sheesh. hehe. that is, after all, how i really feel. :)

and when i feel happy, i REALLY portray that i am happy. proofs are my sometimes overly exaggerated elated posts. to the highest level ba... hehe.

everything started out as a gaya-gaya stuff... with my college buddies. it so happened that, back then, i had a lot of hurt emotions that i had to let out. :) so blog it is. sige mega pour out ng mga emotions chuva na kaartehan ko lang naman din siguro. hehe. i think up to now, every single post e kaartehan ko lang din. hihi. life is a big piece of kaartehan... that's what i believe in. take away kaartehan, and you take away the colors of life. :)

btw, the hot pink sakit-sa-mata layout is the original layout. nothing's changed. except for the tadtad-mukha-ko pictures... hehe. i'll probably keep it this way... for a long time. :)

i choose to be positive

sabi ni aling merriam at ni manong webster, ang positive at negative ay nangangahulugang,
positive: 'pä-z&-tiv, 'päz-tiv - having a good effect : FAVORABLE (a positive role model) b : marked by optimism

negative: 'ne-g&-tiv - lacking positive qualities; especially : DISAGREEABLE b : marked by features of hostility, withdrawal, or pessimism that hinder or oppose constructive treatment or development (a negative outlook) (negative criticism)

i know i sometimes have my crazy spells of pessimism. and i have no excuse for moments like that. how lame could PMS sound? yeah. maybe i could choose to be so in control of my hormones. and maybe i could choose to be so in control of my outlook in life.

if there's one thing i recall in tuesdays with morrie by mitch albom, it's how morrie said we should deal with sadness. first, acknowledge the feeling of sadness... grieve and cry if you must. and then give it you best shot and say, "ok i know now how it feels to be sad. it's now time for me to give way to my other emotions... like happiness maybe?". and then smile. :)

i was watching magandang umaga bayan (or is the title magandang umaga pilipinas?) this morning, and there was this very interesting topic on staying optimistic and keeping the negative vibrations off limits to your life.

i'll do my best to recall the stuff they enumerated. i think it's really neat piece of information. something i could read everyday... to ward off whatever evil forces there are that try to contain caths. :)

tips:

iwasang maging materialistic

iwasang maging competitive

patawarin ang iyong sarili at ang kapwa mo

sa simula ng bawat araw (gabi for my case), magpasalamat para sa bagong araw at sa mga biyayang natatanggap mo

bago matulog, bilangin ang mga magagandang bagay na nangyari sa 'yo. kung wala, isipin ang mga magagandang bagay na pwedeng mangyari sa 'yo bukas

humarap sa salamin, sabihin mong, "ang ganda ko naman ngayon!"

pag may lumait sa hitsura mo, isipin mo na lang na maaaring may problema sya, or "ok lang, maganda naman ako." (isipin mo lang, kse kung ilalakas mo, baka mag-away kayo)

* items in red font are my favorites! :)

i'm not saying that there'll be 0% negative posts on my blog. that would be my way of acknowledging the sadness... the moving on part follows, hopefully! :)

overheard...

from my baby kapitbahay... while bidding farewell to his dad who's leaving for work:

baby: pa, wag ka magmatagal ha! magmadali ka ha!
papa: opo

awwww... cute. :)

mikey and the pupu

last saturday, mikey was here at home. we were supposed to go out but i managed to lure him to just stay here at the house and bum around. mom and cecil went to SM to buy some stuff. kuya was upstairs watching dvds. win was at school. and we were downstairs watching tv and sleeping.

around 6pm, caths and mikey became hungry. so mikey called shakey's and had pizza and mojos delivered here at home. after more than an hour (darn service sucks), the pizza boy arrived and mikey went out to get the foodie. when he went back to the house, he didn't notice he stepped on this cat pupu... eeew! hey that's my slippers he's using! and there was cat pupu everywhere... talk about yucky sight and yucky smell.

caths: nakatapak ka ng pupu! yak!
mikey: syet! kuha ka ng basahan biliiiiis!
* and i was like, ok... what's with the panic mode? but i went ahead to look for a basahan.
mikey: bilisan mo, baby!
caths: teka, naghahanap na nga e!

finally i found one. he ran to get it, moisten it, and in no time at all, he was running around the house like a mad man to wipe off the crap. totally taranta talga...

caths: ano ba? bat ka ba natataranta?
* no answer... continues with his hell-like linis movement
* caths annoyed

mikey: alcohol! penge alcohol
caths: bat ka ba ganyan? ok lang yan wag ka magmadali

* mikey ignores caths and goes ahead to make wisik the floor with alcohol. hello basbasan ba ang bahay namin? blessing ba itu?

i dunno what's with the taranta moves but he simply said he didn't want my mom to go home and find the house in disarray... and i was like, ok lang naman yun, di ka naman papagalitan. but he insisted on having the mess cleaned up. whatever.

the moment he finished the clean-up, inis na ko. he washed his hands, grabbed me in the kitchen area, and told me he's sorry for acting taranta, he's just not used to messing around in somebody else's home. haha... sya pa nagsorry for having cleaned up my place. funny. and sure enough, after a few minutes, mom and cecil arrived. he just winked and told me "i told you so". duh, para namang papahiya sya ng mom ko for spreading cat pupu no! kulit... :) but cute.

impressions

last friday, a few hours before heading off home, the office girls didn't have that much office work to do. so we were doing our usual activity - magbrowse ng mga tao sa friendster - after all, that IS our only form of social life. poor earthlings. don't deprive us of that. hihihi.

so there we were, making the usual comments, "ganda ni ano", "ay di kagandahan", "bat ganun yung ano nya?". the works...

then, there was this agent guy who went to the IT room (this is our room too) to ask for a headset from john and alex (2 other IT guys). he was kinda friendly. a few minutes passed... and then we totally forgot he was in the room.

maria (aka maricor) was browsing wolf's (not his real name) friendster. we have this thing for wolf's gf... as in we find her really pretty and cute and we swear if we were a guy, we'll hit on her. hehe. all of a sudden, maria blurted out, "ate maj, eto yung gf ni wolf na gusto naming tirahin ni caths".

note... at this point, the friendly agent-asking-for-headset guy is still in the room. imagine the shock he might have experienced when he heard that. at the corner of my eye, i saw him glanced wildly at our direction. hehehe... "crazy lesbians" he might have thought. great impression. hanep. hihi.

survey #10

1.Like to walk in the rain?
**yep..

2.Sleep with or without clothes on?
**with clothes.. kahit onti lang hehe

3.Prefer black or blue pens?
**black..

4.Dress up on Halloween?
**yeah... white lady

5.Like to travel?
**yeah..

6.Like someone?
**oh yeah

7.Do they know?
**don't think so...

8.Sleep on your side?
**yup

9.Think you're attractive?
**gosh... hindi naman hehe

10.Want to marry?
**yup some day

11.With Who?
**with the right man

12.Alaska or Hawaii?
**hawaii..

13.Are you a good student?
**i tried to be a good one... hehe

14.Are you involved in sports? right now?
**nope

15.Christmas or Halloween?
**christmas

17.Colored or black-and-white photo?
**colored

18.Do long distance relationships work?
**no... not for me

19.Do you believe in astrology?
**only if it says what i want to hear haha

20.Do you believe in God?
**yeah...

21.Do you believe in love at first sight?
**no

22.Do you consider yourself the life of the
party?
**no.. i'm the laugher.. laugher?

23.Are u an outgoing person?
**not so on the first meeting

24.Do you have a job?
**yes

25.Do you make fun of people?
**yeah.. not naman pahiya... like okray lang mahina lang.. na napapalakas minsan. is that bad?

26.Do you think dreams eventually come true?
**some of them

27.Fave thing to do?
**sleep... spend time with my loved ones

28.Favorite musician?
**mosiko ba ito?

29.Fave. breakfast food?
**tuyo, sunny side up, fried rice

30.Chocolates or Candy?
**choclates

31.Fave. person?
**my mom...

32.Favorite body part of the opposite gender?
**hands siguro... pdeng hawakan anywhere anytime :)... feels good

34.Go to the movies or rent?
**movies

35.Have you ever moved?
**not yet

36. How's the weather right now?
**just right

38.Hug or kiss?
**kiss

39.Last person you talked to on the phone?
**mikey

40.Last time you showered?
**kagabi

41.Loud or soft music?
**soft

42.McDonalds or Burger King?
**mcdo...

43.More romantic baths or shower?
**baths

44.Night or day?
**day

45.Number of pillows on ur bed?
**3

46.Piano or guitar?
**piano

47.Read or write?
**both

48.Single or taken?
**taken

49.Snow or water?
**watEr...

50.What are you doing tomorrow?
**spend time with mikey

51.what clothes are you wearing?
**jeans, shirt

52.What do you drink?
**iced tea, strawberry shake, pde na rin sanmig... learning to


53.What makes you puke?
**drinking too much, brushing my tongue too much

54.What's on your computer screen?
**wentworth miller

55.What's right next to you?
**maricor to my left, blank to my right.. hehe blank

56.What's your bedtime? weekdays?
**11am

57.What's your name backwards?
**enirehtac

58. When do you get up in the morning?
**uh... 9pm

59.Who do you talk to the most online?
**beth?

survey #9

1. Start Time : 509AM
2. Name: caths
3. Nickname: caths
4. If u wer a skittle wat color wud u be: purple
5. Chinese Zodiac: monkey
6. Zodiac: leo
7. Hair color: dark brown
8. Eye color: dark brown
9. Height: 5 ft
10. Favorite Color: light violet... lilac ba
11. glasses?: none
12. Braces?: none
13. Piercing/tattoos?: on ears lang
15. Area code: 02

******HAVE YOU EVER******
17. Cut your own hair?: eyebrows
18. Did you do something in the past month
that you regret? no naman
20. Kissed someone who isn't ur gf or bf?:
oh yeah
21. Skipped school?: yeah
22. Bungee jumped?: i'd love to
23. Had sex outside?: not yet
24. Dumped someone?: dunno
25. Been arrested?: not yet
26. TP'd someone's house?: anong TP?
27. Won something?: yes - a blender
30. Been rejected?: yes
31. Been to a funeral?: yes
32. Used a lighter?: yes
33. Been on stage?: yes

*****FAVORITE*****

34. Season: summer
35. Food: filipino food... yung may sabaw
36. Ice cream flavor: chocolate... and strawberry na rin
37. School subject(s): don't like one hahaha
38. Person?: my mom
41. Book(s): marami
42. Movie(s): marami rin
43. Song? : marami rin
44. Park?: kahit ano siguro.. basta good company
45. State: state side
46. Place: home
47. Sport to watch: basketball, swimming
49. Bands/musicians: dami e
50. Letter(s): c
51. Restaurant: marami ren e
52. Cartoon Character(s): siguro si elmo hihi pde naman syang cartoon diba
53. TV Station(s): discovery, chaka mga movie ch.

54. Name for a son: allison
55. Name for a daughter: allison

******DO YOU PREFER******

56. Chocolate or Vanilla?: chocolate
58. Long relationships or one night
stands?: long relationship
59. Dogs or cats?: dogs
60. Scary movies or comedies?: comedy
61. Short hair or long: long

62. Croutons or bacon bits?: bacon bits
63. Kissing or hugging: kissing

******FIRST THINGS THAT COME TO
MIND******

64. Mexicans: bigote
65. School: st. paul
66. Grass: green
67. Cow: black and white
68. Canada: my cousin
69. Mouse: mickey
70. Hands: hold hands!

******THE PAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU******

71. Watched a movie?: no
72. Talked on the phone?: yes
73. Cried?: no
74. Threw up?: no
75. Drank a glass of water?: yes
76. Done Drugs?: no
77. Read a book or magazine?: yes
78. Watched TV?: yes
79. Looked in the mirror?: yes
80. Taken a shower? yes
81. Taken a picture?: no
82. Listened to music?: yes
83. Kissed someone?: shucks... no! :(
84. Told someone you liked them?: no
85. End time: 518AM

survey #8

L A S T P E R S O N W H O :

1. Sent you a text message:
mikey
2. Saw you cry:
guen and maricor
3. Went to the movies with you?
guen and maricor
4. You went to the mall with?
kuya
5. You went to dinner with?
ang familia ko?
7. Said 'I love you' to you and really meant it?
edi si mikey
8. Broke your heart?
someone from the past
9. Made you laugh?
i can't remember
10.Talked on the phone?
mikey rin

W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
nose
2. Be serious or be funny?
funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk?
whole
4. Die in a fire or drown?
drown na lang parang mas hindi masakit
5. Spend time with your parents or worst enemies?
labo... parents

D O Y O U P R E F E R. .
1. Gray or black?
black
2. Colored or Black and white photos?
colored..
3. Lust or love?
hmmm... pwede bot? hehehe
4. Sunrise or sunset?
sunrise ...
5. M&Ms or Skittles?
M&Ms
6.Staying up late or waking up early?
staying up late

A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y !!!
1.Do you like anyone?
yup
2. Do they know it?
hindi siguro
3.Then tell me who is she/he?
shy type ako
***************

D O Y O U P R E F E R. .
1. Sun or moon?
sun
2. Winter or Fall?
fall na lang
3. Left or right?
right
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends?
2 best friends
5. Sunny or rainy?
sunny... but i'm starting to like rainy season because of my shift
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
chocolate

A B O U T Y O U
1. What time is it?
504AM
2. Name?
caths
3. Nickname(s):
caths
4. What is your birth date?
08/17
5. What do you want? more hours in a day?
no. i think 24 is enough
6. Where do you want to live?
sa hawaii hehe
7. How many kids do you want?
siguro 3
8. You want to get married?
oh yeah. in the near future

U N I Q U E !
2. Are you double jointed?
i don't know what this is
3. Can you roll your tongue?
yeah!
4. Can you raise one eyebrow?
yeah
5. Can you cross your eyes?
yeah

R A N D O M
1. Which shoe goes on first?
right
2. Ever thrown one at someone?
slippers pag naghaharutan kami ng brothers ko

OTHER
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti?
ye
2.Have you ever eaten spam?
ya
3. Favourite ice cream:
chocolate
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?
alang cereal
5. What's your favourite non-alcoholic drink?
iced tea

I N T H E L A S T M O N T H , HA V E YO U ?

2. Bought something:
uu
3. Sang:
yeiz
4. Been kissed:
yup
5. Been hugged:
yep...
6. Felt stupid:
yes
7. Missed someone:
yep...
8. Danced crazy:
oh yeah
9. Gotten your hair cut:
nope. i badly need one, though
10. Cried
yep
11. had road rage:
nope
12. Snuck out of the house:
no

survey #7

1. Are you wearing a necklace?
>>nope

2. Do you like someone right now?
>>yup

3. Who is the main person(s) you talk to at
work?
>>maricor, ate maj, beth

5. What color is your shirt?
>> red

7. What song are you listening to?
>>dunno the title ang corny ko

8. What was the last mall you went to?
>>rob place

9. Are you alone?
>>nope

10. Do you have any older siblings?
>>si kuya pogi

11. What is the last thing you ate?
>>tuna sandwich at green tea

12. Who was the last person to come over to
your house?
>>i think my cousin, marlon

13. Who was the last person to call you?
>>si mikey

14. Who was the last person who texted you?
>>si mikey din

16. What should you be doing?
>>working pero alang magawa

17. Who is the last person you sent a
message?
>>si mikey sa cellphone, si thecx sa ym

18. Did you go out to eat yesterday?
>>nope

19. What are you thinking right now?
>>gusto ko na umuwi

20. What color are your shorts?
>>vlue jeans

21. What color is your keyboard?
>>vlack

22. What do you feel like eating/drinking?
>>hmmm... cheese pizza

23. Are you in college?
>>nope

24. What is the last text you wrote?
>>nope

25. Are you bored?
>>nde naman. sleepy lang

26. How many teeth do you have?
>>parang 29

28. Do you wear glasses?
>>nope. i want to

29. What color are your shoes?
>>beige sandals

31. Last thing you drank?
>>green tea

33. Who do you love?
>>marami akong love.

35. What are you doing right now?
>>sagot nito, listen to some strange music

37. Do you know how to spell bananas?
>>mukang

38. What're the last words you said?
>>mukang

39. Do you have clothes on?
>>yup

36. Do you like llamas?
>>no idea

42. Do you have a cut on your pointer finger?
>>nope

43. Where is your cell phone?
>>tabi ng keyboard

44. Do you have any friends named Skyler?
>>nope

46. Do you have any friends named Axel?
>>ala rin

47. Are you afraid of the dark?
>>only after watching a scary movie

48. Did you used to watch "Are you afraid of
the dark"?
>>oh yeah!

49. Does your computer have a mouse?
>>yep

50. What size shoe do you wear?
>>5

rainy days and sardines

it was not that easy getting home this morning.

buses were packed. i was able to find a seat but there was this lady standing in front of me. she has a giant bag and the bag was about an inch from my face, and the bag was almost hitting my face. luckily, it didn't get me. :) the powers of the universe conspired to make the bag NOT hit my face. ;p

fx ride wasn't a giveaway either. there were 2 girls who seemed to be call center agents. why? the accent... the sosy sound... and they were talking loudly. they weren't annoying, though. i actually found them cute and sensible. what's semi-annoying was the traffic along coastal road going to mia road. good thing i was able to involuntarily eavesdrop to the two girls' interesting conversation.

when i got home, as in when i stepped on our doorway, it started to rain. the conspiracy thing is really working my way woohoo!

breakfast was next... mom tried this sardines with spaghetti sauce thing, and i think it's a gorgeous breakfast for a rainy day. conclude it all with a hot mug of chocolate and a morning call from my mikey. purrrrrfect.

sa mga panahong ganito

during the spi era, you'd be one of the blessed kung nagkataong ikaw ay untasked or waiting... you savor every second of it, 'cause an opportunity like that only comes once in a blue moon.

dito sa access, grabe, ganun din. pag andyan ang tasks, di ka na makatayo para makakain or maka-wiwi man lang. pero wag ka... pag naging waiting or untasked ang status mo, mamumuti ang mata mo. lahat na ata ng pwedeng gawin, nagawa ko na. 'di ko ito ginusto. gagawin ko naman ang trabahao KUNG MERON. pero kung wala, wala na talga kong magagawa kundi:

magpacman - nakatop score na ko! pero nabura na ng ibang bihasang manlalaro. :(

maggawa ng groups sa YM - yup, ngayon ko lang natuklasan ang paggawa ng groups sa buddies list ko.

makipagchat sa mga taong online sa ym - marami akong napapala dito dahil nakakapangumusta ako ng mga friends :)

magrename ng mga pangalan ng tao sa YM list ko - mga tipong maricor e ginagawa kong Maricor Naz. para sosyal.

magbasa ng blogs at mag comment na rin. believe me, nakapag blog hop na rin ako, kung san click mo lang yung "next blog" button. it takes me places. promise fun ito.

magbrowse ng friendster - lahat ng friends ko nabrowse ko na. enjoy din ang pagbrowse ng mga popular people sa friendster. maraming artista haha (peke man or hindi).

manood ng stand-up-comedy sa youtube - highly recommended si russell peters (salamat kay diosdaddy); ang bubble gang astig din.

maglinis ng inbox ng yahoo email - di ko 'to masyadong like. nakakatamad.

makipagkwentuhan/chat kay maricor. 'di nauubos ang mga storya namin, promise.

maghanap ng mga holliwood chismis sa defamer.com at jossip.com. sorry tinatamad ako maglagay ng link.

umidlip sandali - dahil 'di naman ako nakakatulog pag 'di nakahiga... at walang kama rito.

masaya naman 'to kung paminsan-minsan lang. pero kung napapadalas, grabe masakit din sa ulo. :( ang sakit na naman ng ulo ko ngayon. wanna go home na :( ...

and i call him tuffy

mom's boss gave my mom a big plastic container. it resembles a drinking glass, about a foot in height and 8 inches in diamter. we couldn't think of any purpose for it so mom bought an oxygen machine and 8 pairs of fishes - 2 pairs of gold, a pair of black, and a pair of bright orange fishy fishes. a makeshift aquarium it is.

we have to get water from this deepwell pump... tubig-poso ba... they'd probably die if we used nawasa water - chlorine thingy. i didn't have to say that... anyway, so the school of fishes was a happy group. i only assumed that. i wouldn't know if they're happy. nobody would. but i just assumed 'cause they're in our home and ours is a happy home.

i'm not a fan of fishy pets. i actually think they're boring! the only time i thought fishes are interesting was during the finding nemo era - 'cause fishes actually talk there! they have emotions! their faces depict joy and fear and sadness. and my favorite fish is dory (not nemo)!

ok back to the aquarium... the weeks passed and one by one, the fishes died. we'd wake up and find one floating, lifeless. at other times, they'd be found dead on the floor. sometimes, they'd mysteriously disappear... one of the unsolved mysteries that nancy drew will surely love to dig into.

one by one they passed away, until there was only one left - one of the bright orange fishes. it's been months now... and it's clear that she's the toughest of them all. i don't even know if it's a she or a he, but i prefer to refer to it as a she simply because she's the survivor hehe. she's not a weakling ba.

i'm not endeared to her. i don't even feed her. mom does. but it lightens me everyday to see her swimming, living her life to the fullest, and simply surviving - without complaining. heck, that would be lonely: living alone, restricted in a small "cage"... no one to talk to, no one to hug, no one to love, no one to smile to, no one to turn to. but she doesn't complain! if only she could...

simply put, she's my inspiration... and i call her tuffy.

teka... malabo ata, natabunan ng bubbles si tuffy... wait...


yung naka X, di si tuffy yun, some ceramic dumb fish... the orange fish, encircled in yellow is THE REAL TUFFY! go, tuffy! you rule! woohoo!

ang muling pagtatagpo

servisoft, a couple of years ago, was this really cool business unit. i say cool 'cause the creatures thriving inside the servisoft walls are friendly and cool and a big happy family. everybody was friends with everybody and you wouldn't think twice about somebody's name because... you simply know who everybody is! and by know, i mean... really know K-N-O-W! get what i mean? i don't.

anyway, people changed. people left for a couple of reasons. by leave, i mean... leave by the dozen! sheesh... i know in everybody's heart was a worried, "i don't wanna be the last man standing here" (with matching ym worried emoticon). just before i left, the place was invaded by the new servisoft babies. i don't even know all their names... i mean, i wanted to! but there's just no way of penetrating a group this big. they remind me of a college block, so tightly knit, so happy, so young. thankful that the team of babies i worked with was a cool and sweet bunch. :) for the others, i don't have an idea and i missed the opportunity of getting to know them.

anyway again, the oldies had this dilemma of simply looking for a lunch buddy! if i couldn't find one, i'd head home for lunch. pathetic. :( i'm not the type who would eat alone. i'd probably cry.

ok... so everybody struggled to look for another company - another home. :( sad but that's the way life has to be. you say good bye and you say hello. to date, servisoft people are everywhere... scattered, ya know ;p. and it just lifts me up when i see someone i know from servisoft.

so this is the real score: last wednesday, there was a mini reunion for the makati chapter servisoft people (night shift)... you see, there's also the makati chapter regular shift and second shift. most of the attendees were from companies in RCBC plaza, nins and joy from PBCOM(?). there was a slight debate as to whether jollibee convergys is indeed halfway for PBCOM and RCBC... but yeah... it probably is and the dinner pushed through anyway. donnie was incidentally there and he completed the pack. :)

wala raw kaming sense (warning: senseless ang post na ito, coming from a senseless person)

"hihi... ano ba yan, bangag na tayo wala na tayong sense."
"lagi naman eh. kelan ba kayo nagka-sense?"

ay... foul hirit... lemmesee... lemmesee...

if sense is something you put on your mouth everyday, no, thanks! i'd rather not have sense at all than have all sarcasm and bitterness uttered out of my lips. i'd rather say something "senseless", as you say, but positive and full of laughter than your so-called intelligent but negative and rotten remarks.

if sense is the frown you wear on your face from the moment you get here to the time you leave, no thanks! i'd rahter not have sense at all. i'd rather give out all smiles to the people around me... annoying or not. after all they're people who know how to act like people. unlike some i know.

if sense is the know-it-all attitude you project, no, thanks! i'd rather have an honest "i didn't know that. now i know :) hope i remember it" than to project that i'm cum-laude material... "sabi sayo eh" "i know that 'cause i watch national geographic"... so? as if i care. i'm no cum-laude... but does that make me less of a person than you are? ask them... let's see what they say.

if sense is the perfume you wear, no, thanks. i'd rather not comment on that... iyo na ang sense mo. i have my own. i love my own.

sense? what is sense after all? hija, iyo na sense mo ha? sorry, i sound angry. epekto ng beer? i'm non-sense and i'm proud and i'm happy about it. are you reading this? oh, i'm scared... i bet you can decipher it's you... 'cause you're smart and soooo sensible! it makes your momma proud! ooh! so?

not-so-hidden mickeys

mickeys - they're everywhere. i don't know if the philippines (or our home, on a more local scale) is that unsanitary for mickeys of all sizes to actually live and literally mingle with people. they run around the house like little kids at play. good thing they don't destroy our things here at home... maybe they're just after food.

the most severe case i've heard was from my cousin: she was sleeping in her room (she lives in pasay, not in our house, thank goodness) and a big mickey bit her lip! on other times, it bit her daughter's nose! how severe could that sound! my goodness! and they actually saw the big mickey run away! i bet with a big evil grin on her face! syet.

it's not like we don't do anything to stunt the rising number of mickeys. here are some of the desperate and not-so-desperate moves we've tried so far:

wooden cage trap - way back my lolo's days, i remember he used to make these wooden trap boxes with tin doors. mickey goes inside the vault, eats the food (container = takip ng chizwiz), and the door shuts when the thread that holds the door loosens up. once trapped, we (make that my lolo) get a sack of some sort and carefully open the door to transfer mickey from the trap to the sack. after this, hampas-hambalos galore. poor mickey. if it doesn't kill him, i don't know what else will. i remember many years ago when it was hampas-hambalos time for a certain mickey, my lolo was all poised to transfer him and i was all poised too to witness the execution. sack positioned, door opens, and mickey escapes! i wailed and jumped wildly and one fatal jump killed poor mickey. asintado ang talon ko. syet na-trauma ako nun. i just killed a mickey.

classic mouse trap - we also resorted to these nifty wooden mouse traps. the ones with deadly metal that you have to pull back. a spring releases the metal thingy once motion is detected in any way. the drawback is, once a mickey dies on a trap, the others seem to somehow sense that a brother mickey lost his life on this thing and that this tool is not something that they should toy with... and the whole purpose of trapping mickeys is defeated. some even say that when you pour boiling water, the scent of death is removed... i say it's all too much hassle (or tamad lang ako).

fly trap - oh! this, i think, is an effective trap. the paper thingy with super sticky substance that traps baby mickeys - of course you have to lure them with food. sometimes a single trap could get around 3 baby mickeys. the only thing is... it's such a horrible sight to see (and hear) a baby mickey struggle to get out... with all the hair sticking to the glue, it's just so yucky and morbid. there was a time we forgot we had a trap and when we remembered, the mickey was all skeleton and decayed. yuck. and at other times, big momma mickey types get trapped but they bring the trap along and it's all gone. stupid momma mickey, running around with a fly trap on her belly.

rat poision - dora or racumin are the popular brands. no sweat - just put some on a piece of paper, mickey devours on the so-called feast and dies shortly. the drawback is, if they don't make it to the light, they die in the darnest corners of the house... the ones you can't see... and they would rot and smell like hell for days or weeks and would turn your tummy upside down. plus, they also sense at certain times that this is not food stuff and they ignore it just the same. there was a time when a big momma mickey is all dazed and is ready to accept her death. she came out and was just still. we didn't want to hampas her for she might run and hide and smell so we just covered her with this pail until she died. the disposal was the hardest thing to do. just imagine how you will get that creature into a plastic bag...

pet a kitty - a neighbor gave us a baby kitty some time ago. on the first day, we were brainwashing the kitty, "grow up to be strong and sturdy, little kitty... and go get 'em all, kitty!". and she was nodding like crazy like, "yeah, momma! i'm gonna get 'em all!". the next morning, kitty was missing with blood trails on the floor. we concluded that a big momma mickey, strong and sturdy and mighty, got our baby girl. poor kitty, we loved her for a day. she was our only hope. and she was ambushed by a mickey. how ironic. ugh.

claygo - clean as you go. we leave the house spic and span, thanks to cecil. counters wiped, floor all shiny and new, table-tops wiped clean, all food items kept out of mickey's reach. wa epek. they're like "heya! i'm here! watchadoin?" and run around the house like crazy! stupid pests.

to hell with mickeys... to hell with you all. hehe may galit.

feasts

this weekend has been food-ful. i've never eaten that much food for a long time. i'm the type who would take a little of everything and then i get full easily. and then after just a few hours, i would get hungry again and if i don't put in food in that little tummy, i get disoriented and even tremble a little if worse comes to worst.

last friday, we were in a festive mood at the office - maybe because it's a payday (make that a paynight). we had wendy's food delivered to the office. i had bacon mushroom melt, large fries, large iced tea, and salad sampler. that may be a regular meal for a regular person, but that amount is too much for me. it sustained me for the whole night. i swear.

on saturday after work, maria and i went to the mall of asia for the bayo sale. nothing fancy there, but we both bought a pair of pants for 50% off. good buy. and had lunch at the super bowl. not too much of a feast but enough to tame the growling monsters in my tummy at that time.

saturday night, the whole gang at home (plus aira and mikey) went out for dinner for kuya's bday. we dined at friday's and i had baby back ribs. the others had their own versions of feasts. arrrgh... grabe! i was so full!!! to think the wendy's and super bowl stuff are still in my body... swimming in here somewhere! waaaah! i'm soooo full!

today's a sunday and breakfast was a feast as well. an addition to the stuff lingering (for too long) in my body now are: tuna, scrambled egg, rice, lucky me beef mami, ovaltine. arrrgh... they're all STILL here! SSSTTTIIILLL... gidiyap

tanong tanong

sa mahigit-kumulang na 8 buwan ko nang nag co-commute papasok at pauwi, may isa lang akong tanong regarding fx passengers. bakit kapag yung pasahero, nakaupo sa likod ng driver ng fx, yung sa apatan, yung nasa far left, tapos bababa na sya at puno yung apatan at wala syang choice kundi sa left side (or danger side) bumaba, nagtatanong ng isang mahiwagang tanong sa driver... at ang tanong ay:

"manong, pwede dito?"

at ang tanong na ito, nagsasanga-sanga tuloy sa iba pang tanong.naisip ko lang...

pag sumagot ba nang "hindi" yung driver, anong mangyayari? pabababain muna nya lahat yung nasa kanan nya?

pano naman kung NR yung driver? hindi na rin ba bababa yung pasahero?

bakit minsan, nagagalit si manong kapag dito bababa yung pasahero. tapos magdadabog pa ito. nevertheless, bababa rin si manong driver at bubuksan ang pinto for the passenger? ano ito? special? may taga-bukas pa.

hindi naman ako nag FX nung nasa spi pa ko. pero nung nagstart ako mag FX, guess what? tinatanong ko na rin yan kay manong, "manong, pwede dito?" mahirap na... baka yan ang uso or yan ay isa sa mga hidden communication between pasahero and manong, at baka magalit si manong pag di ka nagtanong. pero bakit?

i might have scared Mr. X

characters:
caths = me! the QA girl
Mr. X = the programmer boy from FL

setting:
caths and Mr. X are discussing this crazy report that Mr. X developed and caths is testing.
caths is having a hard time understanding the relationship between tables because of the crazy naming convention. caths has never seen anything like these out-of-this-world names!
actually Mr. X is aso having a hard time getting to know how the tables work!

note: actual table names changed. i don't want to have anything used against me at any point.

... and the chat goes ...

[03:33] caths says:

2 thoughts actually...

[03:33] caths says:

1) if LAVTED table is like peop_char, how do we know it belongs to that particular call in CMACTBL (phn_line)... for example, we have 2 valid records from CMACTBL, are we going to create all LAVTED records for each of these 2 phn_line records?

[03:33] caths says:

2) in the 2nd table on my email, you said we're including recs even if NANO <> 'FLAT'... i don't think we can build an output for CHEMDATA (rec 1) because there's no value in STDATA

[03:34] Mr. X says:

ahhhh you're making my head hurt

[03:34] Mr. X says:

you're assuming I know these tables

[03:34] Mr. X says:

my meeting was canceled by the way

[03:35] caths says:

sorry... my head is aching too... my ears are bleeding, btw

[03:35] caths says:

hehe

[03:35] Mr. X says:

yikes

[03:35] Mr. X says:

um, you should have that checked out

[03:35] caths says:

jk

[03:35] caths says:

;p

[03:35] Mr. X says:

phew

[03:35] caths says:

my ears aren't bleeding... only my nose

[03:36] caths says:

haha

[03:36] Mr. X says:

you have a crazy sense of humor

* scared him, didn't i? :)

the absence of the sun

the sun's been sober for a couple of days now. that should be a good news for a vampire like me. days are cooler... and though the sun peeps every now and then, days ARE INDEED cooler than those during the summer time - which is only a few weeks ago.

i've always been a sucker for the sun. i dunno how it could somehow affect my mood. like the moon affects lunatics? maybe.

sunny days = happy days... therefore, rainy days = sad days. and i've been down for the past few days. i've been the most senseless thinker - make that worrier.

i'm worrying about the wrong things. though i am very thankful for all my blessings, and for the fact that my family and i are not experiencing any hindrances to being happy and content, something's bugging me. those are probably coming from the deep crevices of my brain... you know, the corners where the worries and paranoias are situated... the corners i dare not visit. but i do go there with or without my intent... and the worse thing is... i linger there.

ang pangarap kong mindoro dance

mindoro scandal - has been buzzing around for quite some time now. i haven't seen the film... until last, last week. nagkatuwaan sa office na i-view ang film... asus. and so they say, magaling raw yung girl. true indeed! ay sus. grabe. napapa "omaygadsyet" yung jologs na lalake. aysus! parang pati kami, napapa omaygadsyet na rin...

there was this scene where the girl was performing this sexy dance. not the super halay dance... simpleng dance lang. sabi ni papa alex, ganun raw ang mga dance routine sa mga club kaya most probably, the girl works sa night club. whatever. i like! hehe! kaya lang, the girl was hubo sa taas... she was wearing this black pambaba and high sandals... pang club talga hehe!

ayos talga ang dance. simpleng giling lang hindi oa - to the tune of "thank you" by dido. konting practice lang, kaya ko rin siguro yun haha! tinawag namin itong mindoro dance. at simula nun, nabuo na ang pangarap kong sayawin din ang mindoro dance sa harap ng magiging asawa ko. hehe.. pero! ayoko nang hubo. dapat may saplot sa taas at sa baba kahit konti... para di mahalay... masyado. bwahaha! watadream! wag na si mike... i'll spare him... baka hiwalayan ako pag pinilit kong panoorin nya ko bwahaha! dun na lang sa magiging asawa ko at least tatanggapin ako nun kahit ano pang pangarap ko ang isakatuparan ko. ayus! raaarrr!

* i swear, "thank you" by dido always brings this wicked grin on my face na! "uy, mindoro dance yan!" sabi ng boses sa isip ko.. raarrr! hahahaha!

musings of a lady (nasobrahan ng pagbabasa ng dracula)

on the dark side of twilight last night, i (along with my good fellows at work) had for supper roasted chicken and rice and creamy dairy product mixed with freshly shaved ice. these were courtesy of the good-hearted gentleman, diosdaddy, who will bid us farewell soon to spread his wings on the vast world. alas! it is with no doubt that we are going to miss the kindest soul in diosdaddy's being, but it is with the boldest courage that he must go.... and we send him away with all our love.

(dinner kami kagabi sa office... lechong manok, kanin, ice cream. libreng chibog ni diosdaddy. nagresign na kase sya waaaah! mamimiss ka namin, diosdaddy!!!! huwaaaaaah!)

after the hearty supper, i directed all of my strength doing that which supports my living. yes, i kept myself busy conversing with madam beth and mr. eric just so we could guarantee that the produce of our efforts is free of error. true, to err is human.... but i try to do my best in my undertakings, and hope, that by God's will, all will turn out to be pleasant... if not, then i may wail out a piteous cry!

after chibog, super busy sa work... QA ever... chika kay beth at eric... make sure ever na walang mali ang codes... sana nga wala... tigok ako... dedders ba... pag may mali yun argh.

6 a. m. - oh! it almost slipped my forgetful mind that it is wednesday to-day! i do not intend to forget! it must have slipped my mind whilst i was putting all my efforts at work. i gathered my belongings and tidied myself to go to the church to pray the novena. afterwhich, i rode a carriage, that which will take me to my beloved home... where the comforts of my bed are waiting with arms wide open. it was no wonder that there is a heavy flow of carriages. alas! it is indeed wednesday - the day when devotees flock to church to pray for their earnest wishes and desires. heavens, give me srength for i am feeling the pangs of hunger. it has been some time since my body was nourished with hearty supper.

muntik ko na makalimutan arrrgh! wednesday pala ngayon. busy kase... mega ligpit ng things tapos off to church for the novena na. tapos... commute to go home na. traffic!!! wednesday kse eh... paksyet! gutom na gutom na ko! waaah!

at long last! all my waiting was not put in vain for i am now in my home... oh, my sweet home. i hurriedly washed my hands to rid of the dirt that i might have acquired whilst hurrying home. i then rushed to the dining room where my food is waiting for me. thank you, dear mother, for preparing such a sumptuous meal! i took big bites, almost un-lady like, i must say. but i doubt it somebody is out there to witness my poor soul feasting on such a lovely meal, and even if there is indeed someone out there, i put all worries aside.... i have to satisfy myself even only for to-day! i need to be nourished after a long, tiring day!

paksyetttt! gutom na gutom ako! hugas kamay... derecho mesa chibog! woohoo! salamat momma! sarap ng breakfast! luto ng momma ko! parang lamon yung ginawa ko... kebs kung may makakita.. gutom ako GUTOM!!! waaah!

after that rather delightful supper, i sit here, all poised and groomed because i am very much satisfied. and i write this entry to my journal.... ah, memories so sweet and fond (and sometimes bitter) - i record them all so i will have as i age keepsakes in my heart.... i speak only that of what is true! and now i must go to the toilet to tidy myself. i must regain my strength for to-night is another adventure i will take! whilst everything is still, i shall be alive! but for now, whilst everything is alive, i shall be still. good-bye!

blog blog... kahit walang kwenta... syet.. maglilinis na ko waaah! matutulog na ko antok na! night shift pa ko mamya babush!

on cars, guen the indian girl, and my oldest friend

on cars

saturday - i promised mikey i'll sleep as soon as i get home so we could go out around after lunch. so it was cars day. good film. although i doubt it kids won't get lost in the story, it was pretty hilarious and ummm... it made me cry. haha what won't? amazing how cars could be animated with feelings and grooves and all. after cars, off to good dinner and then to landmark to buy some stuff... all that with only an hour of sleep. i swear, dead na dead ako when we got home argh. i could have slept a little longer if mikey didn't wake me up at 1030am argh! he called me up and i thought it was 1130 na and time for me to wake up na but it was only 1030 waaah! never got back to sleep. and i never stopped making paawa... ginising mo kse ako 1 hour lang tuloy tulog ko :( hehe. "oo na kasalanan ko na." hehe i love hearing that. always. never fails to lift me up.

on guen the indian girl

for so long now, maricor and guen and i have been planning for a day-out or gimik or whatever-just-to-meet-up event. so far, nothing's pushed through... haha! the last time we 3 all met was ash wednesday, had ashes drawn on our foreheads and a quick dinner here at home and then a thousand and one attempts to meet up again. we were supposed to finally meet yesterday, 4pm at the mall of asia to watch a movie and have dinner. all's set although maricor and i were both tired and we'd rather stay home to rest, nagkahiyaang mag cancel just to meet guen. at 4pm, i was already there when i received a message from guen saying her mom got dizzy and she had to stay home... haha! no sweat family first. maricor and i ended up watching lake house and buying a few stuff and eating dinner... magbonding ba ulit? e super bonded na kami going to work everyday! haha it was fun though! lake house, a bit dragging with all the conversation... but good plot. and off to plan another attempt to see guen. hihi.

on my oldest friend

thecx is here! this is her first time to visit home after nine years (?). dig this... she has been my classmate since nursery till 4th year HS. and we're on the same course for the first year at college, though different majors and she had to go to the states na rin before the 2nd year ata. we wouldn't have known that we went way back nursery if we didn't see that photo during nursery... we were both playing the roles of angels for a christmas play on stage. hihi neat, eh! i guess i was too timid and shy and all to be friends with anybody back then but the friendship's been there since i could remember it and it will always be just there till whenever. see you soon! 2 weeks is too short a stay but better than nothing, friend. :)

iMax to the max

monday = independence day = holiday. ma, kuya, aira, and i went to the mall of asia to try the iMax theater. i've heard a couple of feedback that it was worth it and it's quite an experience. the only films available were documentaries: everest (2D) and nascar (3D). diosdaddy told me to try out 3D instead of 2D. so nascar it is. it was boring. i'm not interested in racing, much more, the history of racing haha!

i wasn't really fascinated listening to the facts but i was amazed viewing the graphics... hihi very entertaining. i observed that iMax is better viewing animation films... like happy feet! hihi there was a trailer of happy feet and i hope it's coming soon.

we also bought advanced tickets for superman in 3D woohoo! show date is july 1. can't wait to get dizzy and get all that headache for 2 hours! woohoo!

now that's something different

last sunday, mikey and i were all bored doing the same stuff... watching movie, tambay sa bahay, ikot-ikot sa mall... he called me and told me to bring a swim suit (he didn't tell me to bring a towel, i swear! he insisted he told be to bring one... he didn't!!!) and sandals and we'll go to this water spa somewhere in QC.

hmmm... ok, the ladies' shower room was a-ok! super neat and orderly! flawless haha walang kapintasan. so i changed into my swim suit. i brought a 2-piece swim suit, a spag strap top, and board shorts. i thought i'll just take the spag strap top off before dipping into the pool. on my way to the pool/spa, there was an assistant who inspected my outfit and she told me that my top wasn't allowed and my shorts too... she told me that i should just wear my 2-piece... sorry, house rules. arrgh! ako'y mahiyain! waaah! couldn't do anything, could i? good thing it was the shorts type of suit. waaaah!

other than the attire scandal, everything was perfect. there was a lazy pool, bonding kami ni mikey, chismisan parang girls hihihi! whatda. and then, there were a number of hydrotherapy massage areas in the pool. super satisfied. we tried them all super sarap woohoo! and then, there were also 3 herbal hot pools. hay super ok talga! there was also sauna and steam pero we didn't try those out 'cause somekinuva init. no, thanks! haha. a couple more rounds in tha lazy pool and a few laps in the long pool and we're out. super relaxing. we had a deal to go there at least once a month to just hang out and relax and be all good :)

it was still early so we went to gateway to watchamovie na rin. failure to launch - hilarious. crazy film hihi. i'm not a fan of sarah jessica parker, but yeah i actually think she's cute and funny now. nice.

it was a good day. unique day. fun day. made me bond with and love my guy more. :)

napatawad ko na ang body shop (at ang seaweed set)

i've had this body shop hype when i learned they're on an anniversary sale. i heard you could buy an item and purchase the 2nd for only P10. so i made a research online of what i'll probably buy. i thought i need cleanser, toner, and moisturizer and there's this seaweed set. i thought if it'll cost 500 per item, it's not that bad as long as they come in goodie big sizes.

so last saturday, maricor and i went to divi to buy wedding keepsakes for a friend. and then we proceeded to the mall of asia (of course we assumed the mall will open at 9am).

a few minutes before 9, we were walking the halls of the super jumbo mall of asia. syempre 10 pala ang bukas nya. so we were 2 of the jologs people there na naghihintay magbukas ang mall. how naturally jologs. asus. ang saya! (as i earlier said, jologs is fun!)

but hey, we didn't go there sleepless and all straight from work to go home empty-handed. jologs na kung jologs... we waited for the mall to open. 10 am na, mega open na ang mega shops. 1st stop was the ice skating rink. and we promised ourselves we'll try that out some day. try everything while you're alive!

and then, we spotted body shop woohoo! seaweed set, here i come! ok... ang mahal! ah eh... ok... ang liit. yeah it was 500 a piece... argh. it's not practical! inyo na ang seaweed nyo! di ko kayo mapapatawad habang nabubuhay ako. hahaha... oh well. ang seaweed ko, nauwi sa neutrogena set which cost around 900. not too expensive plus i could definitely use it for more than a month.

this morning, while having breakfast with maricor, i silently told myself, "body shop, napatawad na kita." and then i threw her the question... "maricor, napatawad mo na ba ang body shop?" she was supposed to buy this body scrub at P800 and like me, made some sense and decided to trash the thought. and then she answered, "hinde!hindi ko sila mapapatawad! babalikan ko yun at bibilhin ko yun some day!!!"

oh well... whatever. sigi patawarin ko na lang kesa bilhin hahaha.

p.s. napatawad ko na rin si lola rose reyes. i'm not sure if she could reciprocate this same gift... but yeah... no more grudges, jose. este, rose.

the irony of it all

last sunday, during mass, i was in charge of the 1st, 2nd readings, and prayers of the faithful. 1st and 2nd readings went well. i was reading the prayers of the faithful and it went something like...

"isama po natin sa ating panalangin ang mga sumusunod na intensyon:
blah...
blah...
para sa ating flower sponsors:
blah...
JOSE reyes
blah..."

before the communion, an elderly woman tapped me on the shoulder. with a stern face and all the burdens of the world, she sourly scowled at me and said, "ROSE yun, hindi JOSE!"

i stared at her blankly and after a couple of seconds, i realized that she was referring to a certain name on prayers of the faithful. so i looked at the paper i just read over the mic and realized that, yup, it was my mistake. i said "jose" instead of "rose". i dunno why that happened. maybe i was still sleepy, maybe my eyes (and brain combo) were blurry, or maybe i was plainly stupid. whatever. it was a mistake.

i was slowly processing how i would react to the rather ugly remark (and the following will show you how i just sinned in my thoughts).

i was tempted to flash her a bright smile and tell her, "if you're so sincere with your flower offering, why do you want the whole world to hear your name? it's just a name. it's the intention that counts."

i was tempted to be really bitchy and give her a fiery look and say, "i'm not sorry i read your name wrong. you should be thankful i did not put your name in the 'repose of the souls section'"

i could just forget what just happened and go on with my life and eliminate her completely in my system.

arrrgh... i'm not a good girl but it doesn't mean i'm bad (does it?)... so naturally, i eliminated those wicked thoughts. i don't have the guts to execute them anyway. put down your defenses and apologize, girl. it was, after all, my fault. so sorry it is. after the mass, i looked for granny and tapped her on the shoulder. i almost backed out 'cause i saw that her face still had the sour frown, as if ready to bark. this was after the mass, remember!

but i had to do it... "pasensya na po kayo ha, mali ang nabasa ko".

heaven and earth crashed. she angrily nodded and roared, "e palpak naman ang misa ngayon eh! yung ama namin, dapat kantahin, hindi kinanta! yung pangalan ko, naging jose! blah blah blah..." she went on roaring to the parish secretary why her name was read as jose.

and i left. nothing i could do with a clashing gong. i've done my part.

i'm not pious. i'm not the ms-goody-two-shoes type. i'm a sinner (proofs are enumerated above). i have sinned through my own fault in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do. hehe nagdasal... well, the bottom line is, it's just so ironic how we behave that way inside church. what more when we're outside? i'm not exempting myself here. haha! i'm guilty as hell... :(

on roses and prayers

two months since my last post. hihihi... what can i say?

a couple of weeks ago, jheng told me stories about st. therese and roses. you pray to st. therese and you could either ask questions or make a wish and then you could ask for roses as a sign that she favors on saying yes to your question or granting your wish. my section during 1st yr HS was st. therese but i forgot about her story. all i coud recall was that she was associated with roses.

2 weekends ago, mikey and i went with kuya and aira to the mall of asia... get along with everybody else's hype. geez it was sooo crowded we decided to go to glorietta after all to watch xmen. we left aira and kuya in the crowd hehehe.

ok... mikey had this bad, bad headache and he was bitching about it. mega sungit. i asked him, "mapula ba mukha ko?" 'cause i was really conscious if i might have applied too much blusher. ay irritation ang mama, and he answered "hindi" even though he hasn't even glanced at my face yet. ay... pissed of ang lola! away na 'to! ayoko nang sinusungitan ako... if you're a bitch, ay mas bitch ako... hihihi... edi mega dedma na nga. he was trying to say sorry, and i was just nodding my head and he claimed i was making him irap! hehe syempre deny ako. well, i might have made irap at some point... kainis eh.

ohwell, so we were in a taxi, making suyo and dedma (tahimik ito hindi naman kami gumawa ng eksena sa taxi hehe) and i recalled about st. therese. and i said a silent prayer... please show me a rose if he's the one for me. but then we were along edsa and it was most probable that we'll see those little children selling roses... so i made bawi the prayer... ay, st. therese, yellow rose na lang kse madali lang pag red rose... and with that, we got to glorietta without seeing any rose... wala.

so i forgot about it... and i was slightly making pansin mikey na... pero that doesn't mean hindi na kami inis sa isa't isa. ohwell...

just to give a background, mikey isn't the i'll-give-you-roses-everyday type. i know that there's this single instance he sent me a dozen of red roses during our 1st yr anniv last may. other than that, even if we've had a couple of fights, he makes up by saying what i need to hear or doing what he needs to do.

ok so going back, after we bought our movie tickets, he started with the saying-what-i-need-to-hear part and i was cooling down na... and all of a sudden, he said "teka lang dyan ka lang"... and ran off somewhere... it turned out, he ran off to buy a rose... syet!!! the prayer! and i was standing there, speechless and all and teary-eyed 'cause i could not believe it. but.. it was a pink rose, not a yellow rose. we happened to be standing in front of a furniture shop and i told him about the prayer and the yellow rose. he told me na wala naman yellow rose dun sa flower shop... and i turned around and faced the furniture shop, and there it was, a bouquet of yellow roses. and he told me, e hindi naman binebenta yan e, display yan! hehehe my prayer was, after all, "show me" not give me...

test

test

my wisdom (1 of 4) is gone

* para sa post na ito, pasintabi sa mga kumakain...

mwehehe! so i'm back and alive, not yet kicking though. i don't want blood gushing out of my gums.

my dentist recommended that we extract the upper left tooth first (the right one isn't giving me pains and discomfort, btw). the impacted lower teeth could follow some other time and they have to be taken out via surgery.

thursday, 130 pm, wawin and i headed off to the dentist. i've never seen someone so beautiful and so kind at the same time... i'm starting to think my dentist is an angel hihihi.

i could barely recall the last time i had a tooth extraction. all i could remember was i was wailing so loud the dentist back then was kinda imbyerna na... kinakatay na baboy... yan ang term ng mom ko sakin.

but now, syempre, mahinhin na ko, mayumi, kimi... (and a loud laugh. don't!) so i was really reserved the whole time even though my heart was pounding like hell. i told doc angel that i was nervous so she didn't show me the anaesthesia syringe and she told me to close my eyes.

2 sharp but tolerable pangs of needle pain followed, which was not that bad! yeeey! and then she had to fill in 2 teeth with pasta while waiting for the numbing effect of the drugs.

and then... came the extraction... she first loosened the tooth's grip on my gum using those various pointed objects, i dunno what the heck they call that... yeah... however painful that may sound, i don't care! 'cause i didn't feel pain but i was fully aware that something cruel was being done to my tooth. all i knew was.. tinutuklap ang ngipin kong mahigpit pa ang kapit dahil 'di pa sya tapos tumubo. darn it. and then i felt the tooth semi-dangling... argh... so she took the pliers-like instrument and vigorously pulled the tooth... syet i could feel it! only there's no pain... only a few sounds of cracking enamel and heck knows what...

so there! the tooth's gone, but she also cut off this thing she called follicle. it was a bit painful so another dose of anaesthetics was injected to my gums. and it's done!

she gave me the tooth as a souvenir. she told me i could keep all four, put it in a frame. hmm... i could put a title... what does not kill me makes me strong. hehe drama. sus ipin lang eh.

i didn't go to work last night. i'm kinda bloody and super uncomfy. i slept soundly, though! and then... today, it's not bleeding like crazy and i didn't take in my pain killer pill! yey! grabe. i consider this a milestone, promise! it may be kinda babaw... pero it IS something for me... oh wait! i have 3 to go pa pala! sows! sisiw...

here's the tooth... the darned tooth...